Mister Roberts

Lieutenant, junior grade Douglas A. "Doug" Roberts: Doc, that new hospital hasn't got nurses, has it? Lieutenant "Doc": It didn't have yesterday. Ensign Frank Thurlowe Pulver: It has today. Lieutenant "Doc": And how did you find out they were there? Ensign Frank Thurlowe Pulver: Just came to me all of a sudden. I was lying in my bunk here this morning, um, thinking. And there wasn't a breath of air. And all of a sudden, a funny thing happened. A little breeze came up, and I took a big, deep breath, and I said to myself, "Pulver, boy, there's women on that island!"

Mister Roberts (1955 film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Lieutenant, junior grade Douglas A. "Doug" Roberts: Frank, I like you. There's no getting around the fact that you're a real likable guy. Ensign Frank Thurlowe Pulver: Yeah? Yeah! Lieutenant, junior grade Douglas A. "Doug" Roberts: But... Ensign Frank Thurlowe Pulver: But what? Lieutenant, junior grade Douglas A. "Doug" Roberts: Well, I also think you're the most hapless, lazy, disorganized, and in general, the most lecherous person I've ever known in my life. Ensign Frank Thurlowe Pulver: I am not! Lieutenant, junior grade Douglas A. "Doug" Roberts: You're not what? Ensign Frank Thurlowe Pulver: I'm not disorganized, for one thing! Lieutenant, junior grade Douglas A. "Doug" Roberts: Have you ever in your life finished one thing you started out to do? You sleep 16 hours a day. You pretend you want me to improve your mind. You've never finished one book I've given you to read. Ensign Frank Thurlowe Pulver: I finished God's Little Acre, Doug boy! Lieutenant, junior grade Douglas A. "Doug

Mister Roberts (1955 film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Lieutenant, junior grade Douglas A. "Doug" Roberts: Doc, he lies in his sack all day long, bores me silly with great, moronic plots against the captain. He's never carried out one of them. Ensign Frank Thurlowe Pulver: I haven't, huh? Lieutenant, junior grade Douglas A. "Doug" Roberts: No, Frank, you haven't. Whatever happened to those marbles you were gonna put in the captain's overhead so they'd roll around all night and keep him awake? Ensign Frank Thurlowe Pulver: Now you've gone too far. Now you've asked for it. [He pulls out a box.] What does that look like? Five marbles. Got another one in my pocket. Six marbles. I'm looking for marbles all day long!

Mister Roberts (1955 film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Lieutenant, junior grade Douglas A. "Doug" Roberts: We've got nothing to do with the war. Maybe that's why we're on this ship, 'cause we're not good enough to fight. 'Cause our glands don't secrete enough adrenaline or our great-great-grandmothers were afraid of the dark or something. Lieutenant "Doc": What is it you want to be, Doug, a hero? Lieutenant, junior grade Douglas A. "Doug" Roberts: Hero? Doc, you haven't heard a word I've said. Look, Doc, the war's way out there, and I'm here. Well, I don't want to be here, I wanna be out there. I'm sick and tired of being a lousy spectator.

Mister Roberts (1955 film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Lieutenant "Doc": That's mostly what makes physical heroism. Opportunity. It's a reflex. I think 75 out of a hundred young males have that reflex. You take any one of them. Say even Frank Thurlowe Pulver, here. Put him into a B-29 over Japan, and you know what you'd have? Lieutenant, junior grade Douglas A. "Doug" Roberts: No, I don't, Doctor. Lieutenant "Doc": You'd have Pulver, the Congressional Medal of Honor winner. Pulver who, single-handed, shot down 23 attacking Zeros. Pulver who, with his bare hands, held together the severed wing struts of his plane and, with his bare feet, successfully landed his mortally wounded plane on his home field. Reflex. It's like the knee jerk. Strike the patella tendon in any human being, you produce the knee jerk. Look. [He hits Ensign Frank Thurlowe Pulver in the knee, and nothing happens.] Ensign Frank Thurlowe Pulver: What's the matter, Doc? Lieutenant "Doc": Nothing, but, uh, stay out of B-29s, Frank, my boy.

Mister Roberts (1955 film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Lieutenant, junior grade Douglas A. "Doug" Roberts: Captain, you told me... Lieutenant Commander Morton: Never mind what I told you! I'm telling you.

Mister Roberts (1955 film), CC BY-SA 4.0