Heathers

We must pray the other teenagers of Sherwood, Ohio know the name of that righteous dude who can solve their problems: it's Jesus Christ, and he's in the book.

Heathers, CC BY-SA 4.0

Kurt: Hey, Ram, doesn't this cafeteria have a no fags policy? J.D.: Well, they, uh, seem to have an open door policy on assholes, though, don't they?

Heathers, CC BY-SA 4.0

J.D.: Is your life perfect? Veronica: I'm on my way to a party at Remington University... No, my life's not perfect. I don't really like my friends. J.D.: I...I don't really like your friends either. Veronica: Well, it's just like - they're people I work with, and our job is being popular and shit. J.D.: Maybe it's time to take a vacation.

Heathers, CC BY-SA 4.0

Heather Chandler: You stupid fuck! Veronica: You goddamn bitch! Heather Chandler: You were nothing before you met me! You were playing Barbies with Betty Finn! You were a bluebird! You were a brownie! You were a Girl Scout cookie! I got you into a Remington party! What's my thanks? It's on a hallway carpet. I got paid in puke! Veronica: LICK IT UP, BABY! Lick! It! Up! Heather Chandler: Monday morning, you're history. I'll tell everyone about tonight. Transfer to Washington. Transfer to Jefferson. Nobody at Westerburg's gonna let you play their reindeer games!

Heathers, CC BY-SA 4.0

Veronica: Oh my God! I just killed my best friend! J.D.: And your worst enemy! Veronica: Same difference! J.D.: What are we gonna tell the cops? "Fuck it if she can't take a joke, Sarge"?! Veronica: Oh, the cops! I can't believe this is my life! Oh my God! I'm gonna have to send my SAT scores to San Quentin instead of Stanford! J.D.: Ah, right. Just a little freaked here. Well, at least you got what ya wanted, ya know? Veronica: Got what I wanted?! It is one thing to want somebody out of your life! It is another thing to serve them a wake-up cup full of liquid drainer!

Heathers, CC BY-SA 4.0

Heather McNamara: [praying over Heather Chandler's casket] Oh God, this is a tragic thing, and sometimes I have a hard time dealing with it and stuff. Please send Heather to Heaven and all that. Peter Dawson: Dear God, please make sure this never happens to me, cause I don't think I can handle suicide. Plus, early acceptance into an Ivy League school and please let it be Harvard. Amen. Ram Sweeney: Jesus, God in Heaven, why did you have to kill such hot snatch? It's a joke, man. Jeez, people are so serious. Hail Mary, who aren't in heaven, pray for all us sinners so we don't get caught. —Another joke, man. Heather Duke: I prayed for the death of Heather Chandler many times, and I felt bad every time I did it, but I kept doing it anyway. Now I know you understood everything. [smiles] Praise Jesus! Hallelujah! Veronica Sawyer: Hi, I'm sorry. Technically I did not kill Heather Chandler, but hey, who am I trying to kid, right? I just want my high school to be a nice place. Amen. Did that s

Heathers, CC BY-SA 4.0