Accepted

Bartleby: Alright, Schrader. What about you? Schrader: Well, B, I'm glad you asked that, actually, cuz since we're going to prison, I want to learn how to carve a shank out of my toothbrush. Bartleby: Okay ha ha. I'll tell you something though, all our lives we've been told what to learn, well today the tide is going to turn my friend because today we're gonna ask the customers.

Accepted (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Schrader: Hey, you wanted to fool your dad and the guy's not an idiot. And also, it was your idea to put "acceptance is just one click away". Bartleby: Yeah, you put it as "one click away", you don't make it clickable!

Accepted (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Bartleby: Uh, Dean Lewis why don't you tell them a little bit about the philosophy here at south Harmon? Ben: Look, we throw a lot of fancy words in front of these kids in order to attract them to going to school in the belief that they're gonna have a better life, and we know that all were doing is breeding a whole new generation of buyers and sellers, BUYERS AND SELLERS! Pimps and whores, PIMPS AND WHORES! and indoctrinating them into a life long hell of debt and indecision! Jack Gaines: I... I, I just don't understand... Ben: DO I HAVE TO SPOON FEED IT TO YA? look, there's only one reason that kids want to go to school... Bartleby: [quietly] Holy shit... Jack Gaines: [after long pause] ... Which is? Ben: ...To get a good job... To get a good job, with a great starting salary. Jack Gaines: [long pause] I couldn't agree more. Diane Gaines: It is so refreshing to have somebody approach education so rationally! Ben: Fuckin' A!

Accepted (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Bartleby: [seeing Schrader in his hot dog costume] Oh, no! Schrader: Ask me about my wiener! Ask me about my wiener-r-r-r-r-r! Bartleby: [approaching with Monica] Schrader? Monica: Hey. Schrader: Oh hey, B. And Monica. Bartleby: Why are you wearing that? Schrader: Every brother of my fraternity has worn this suit. President James Garfield wore this suit like a gentleman! Bartleby: Oh yeah, and look what happened to him? He got assassinated by Charles Guiteau. Bartleby: Don't ask me how I know that. [Monica laughs] Schrader: Listen, could you guys ask me about my wiener real quick? Bartleby: Schrader [pause], no. Schrader: Guys, this is important! My fraternity brothers could be watching me right now! Just ask me about my wiener, please! Bartleby: Why are you doing this? Schrader: What do you mean? Bartleby: This, you're humiliating yourself, buddy. Schrader: [angry] You know what, B? Don't mess with me, alright? These are the happiest times of my life right now! I've never been happier

Accepted (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Bartleby: You said you didn't wanna be a part of this thing. Schrader: I didn't want to have anything to do with it. I wanted to be the fourth generation of Schrader to go to Harmon. But then I realized, I would much rather be the first generation of Schrader to go to the South Harmon Institute of Technology. I said it, okay? I said it. Bartleby: So you're saying... you're saying you want to be a S.H.I.T. head? Schrader: I'm saying I wanna be a S.H.I.T. head. I wanna be a S.H.I.T. head.

Accepted (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Diane Gaines: Are you huffing? Bartleby: Oh god. Diane Gaines: Are you high? Jack Gaines: You're huffing grass? Bartleby: No I'm not huffing mom I'm not stoned I'm completely fine, in fact I'm more clear and level headed than I've ever been. Jack Gaines: Okay cut the crap Bartleby. Society has rules and the first rule is: You go to college. You wanna have a happy and successful life, you go to college. If you wanna be somebody, you go to college. If you wanna fit in, you go to college. Bartleby: Well you know what? Maybe I didn't get into college!

Accepted (film), CC BY-SA 4.0