22 Jump Street

Schmidt: Yo Sleepy, whassup, homie? Everyone saying at the barrio that "Sleepy, he like the Mexican Wolverine and shit!" My partner here wanna see that product. Scarface: [pointing at Jenko] Why ain't he talking? Jenko: [after a moment of silence; in a high-pitched voice] My name Jeff!

22 Jump Street, CC BY-SA 4.0

Mrs. Dickson: So, how did you and Doug meet? Maya: We met at a party and then he stalked me to my dorm room. Captain Dickson: Stalked you? And then what happened? Maya: Then, we hung out and watched a movie. Maya: [pause for a second] Actually, we watched it a couple times. Captain Dickson: This is bullshit! Waiter, can a black man get some water? Schmidt: Someone get the fucking man some water. He's black, he's been through a lot!

22 Jump Street, CC BY-SA 4.0

Captain Dickson: We Jump Street, and we 'bout to jump in yo ass. Jenko: Mmmm-hmmm. Schmidt: Right in the crack.

22 Jump Street, CC BY-SA 4.0

Captain Dickson: Fuck a 21 Jump Street & *FUCK* a Korean Jesus! Jenko: [pointing across the room to the statue of Jesus] Captain, Korean Jesus is right there! Captain Dickson: That's Vietnamese Jesus now. See, this is a Vietnamese church, you racist sacrilegious sack of shit! Captain Dickson: Yeah, Vietnamese Jesus is just droppin' swag-goo!

22 Jump Street, CC BY-SA 4.0

Captain Dickson: Gentlemen, you're not gonna sit here. Captain Dickson: & pretend there's not a big-ass elephant in the room. Jenko: [confused] What the fuck is going on? Captain Dickson: [turns picture frame on desk around, revealing a photo of Maya] *This* is what the fuck is going on! Jenko: [looks at the picture confused, looks at Schmidt, then back at the picture as he realizes] OH SHIT! Oh, shit! Jenko: Oh, shit! No! That is not happening right now! Jenko: No! Jenko: Hey, y'all. He's fucking the captain's daughter! Yo! Oh my FUCK! Captain Dickson: [as Jenko is laughing outside office, to Schmidt] Every time, he says that shit? That's another foot in your ass! Jenko: [outside office] Schmidt! You clearly... yo, this is the best thing ever! Jenko: Schmidt fucked the captain's daughter! Jenko: Schmidt fucked the captain's daughter! Schmidt fucked the captain's daughter! Jenko: [re-enters office] Shit! Fuck! Jenko: You fucked the captain's daughter? Captain? What the fuck, you bragge

22 Jump Street, CC BY-SA 4.0

Captain Dickson: [sees Schmidt dating his daughter Maya] How do you know this person? Maya: Dad, this is Doug, he's a guy I'm dating. Captain Dickson: What the fuck?

22 Jump Street, CC BY-SA 4.0