Quotes

Dialogue

Eunice: Howard! Howard Bannister! Howard, when I ask for you to wait for me somewhere I expect you to stay there until I come back. Howard: Yes, Eunice. Eunice: Now, it is difficult enough for me to have to see to all these arrangements myself... Howard: Yes, Eunice. Eunice: It is exactly 6:15. If we reach the hotel in half an hour, we'll have just enough time to get ready for the banquet. Howard: Yes, Eunice. Eunice: [to the airport attendant] Put these things in a taxi.

Dialogue

Judge Maxwell: You there; you in the blanket! You seem to have caused all this trouble. Exactly what have you got to say for yourself...? [The mystery figure lowers the blanket, revealing herself as...] ...JUDY!? Judy: ...Hello, Daddy. Judge Maxwell: [as if he might cry] Oh, Judy, not again!! This is an ELECTION YEAR!! [Judy shrugs, as her father's bench collapses]

Dialogue

Judy: Aw c'mon, Steve, you don't want to marry Eunice. Howard: I'm not Steve. I'm Howard. Judy: Well neither of you wants to marry Eunice. Howard: Why do you say that? Judy: Because you don't want to marry someone who's gonna get all wrinkled, lined, and flabby. Howard: Everybody gets wrinkled, lined, and flabby! Judy: By next week?

Dialogue

Fritz: Young miss, may I help you please? Judy: Yes, I was wondering if my friends are still here. They're visiting from the um... New Hebrides and I believe they're in Room 1717. Fritz: I'm sorry, but that room is vacant. Judy: I don't understand. They told me they would be in Room 1717 at the Hotel Crystal. Fritz: This is the Bristol, madam, not the Crystal. Judy: Then one of us must be in the wrong hotel.

Dialogue

Fritz: Ah, Mrs. Van Hoskins. It's so nice to have you back with us. Mrs. Van Hoskins: Thank you, Hans. Fritz: Fritz. Mrs. Van Hoskins: What happened to Hans? Fritz: There is no Hans, Mrs. Van Hoskins, there is only me, Fritz. Mrs. Van Hoskins: Oh, what a shame! Fritz: [ringing his bell] Boy! Mrs. Van Hoskins: Now Franz, I'm going to take this with me. There are some things I need tonight, and tomorrow I want you to put it in the hotel safe for me.

Dialogue

Howard: [to the bellhop] Don't touch that. Those are my pre-Paleozoic Tambulu rocks. Fritz: Don't touch his rocks.

Dialogue

Eunice: Where have you been? Howard: I had a little trouble in the drug store. Judy: Steve, you didn't tell me you were married. Howard: We're not married. Judy: Congratulations. Eunice: But we will be soon. Judy: Condolences. Eunice: [to Howard] Who is this person? Howard: I haven't the vaguest idea. She was behind a rock in the drug store. Judy: Oh come on Steve, you can tell her about us. Eunice: Why is she calling you that name? Howard: Don't pay any attention to her, Eunice. [turning to Judy] Look, Miss Maxwell-- Eunice: You know her name. Howard: Eunice, I swear this is a bizarre joke. Judy: Sure, it's easy for you, everywhere you go, another heart broken--women, women, women. You call it joking. Eunice and I, we call it lust. Eunice: Don't you know the meaning of propriety? Judy: Propriety? Noun. Conformity to established standards of behavior or manners, suitability, rightness, or justice. See "etiquette."

Dialogue

Judy: ...it's probably the excitement of meeting you for the first time. I must say, I can feel it myself. Mr. Larrabee: Oh can you? Judy: Can I?! My heart is going a mile a minute. Why, you can just feel it pounding. Can't you feel it? Mr. Larrabee: Yes, I think I can. I... Yes, it's absolutely... it's certainly in there pounding... it's amazing. [to the others at the table] You should feel it gentlemen. [gentlemen rise] Mr. Larrabee: Sit DOWN, gentlemen!

Dialogue

Mr. Larrabee: I must point out that "foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds." Judy: Emerson! Mr. Larrabee: I beg your pardon my dear? Judy: Ralph Waldo Emerson, born 1803, died 1882. Mr. Larrabee: You like Emerson? Judy: I adore him! Mr. Larrabee: I adore anyone who adores Emerson. Judy: And I adore anyone who adores anyone who adores Emerson. Your turn.

Dialogue

Howard: [Somebody knocks; the doorknob falls off] Come in; it's broken - I mean, it's open. [Kaltenborn enters] Good morning. Mr. Kaltenborn: No, I don't think so. I'm Mr. Kaltenborn, the manager of what's left of the hotel. Howard: I'm sorry about the mess here. Usually this kind of thing doesn't happen to me. Mr. Kaltenborn: Doctor Bannister, I have a message for you from the staff of the hotel. Howard: What is it? Mr. Kaltenborn: Goodbye. Howard: That's the entire message? Mr. Kaltenborn: We would appreciate it, if you would check out. Howard: When? Mr. Kaltenborn: Yesterday. Howard: That soon? Mr. Kaltenborn: We'll settle for immediately.

Dialogue

Delivery boy: I want my bike back! Judge Maxwell: I'll give you your bike back. I'll give you a broken back!

Dialogue

Mr. Larrabee: They broke into my home. Judge Maxwell: That's breaking and entering. Mr. Larrabee: And they brought her with them forcibly. Judge Maxwell: That's kidnapping. Eunice: They tried to molest me. Judge Maxwell: That's... unbelievable.

Dialogue

Howard: First, there was this trouble between me and Hugh. Judge Maxwell: You and me? Howard: No, not you, Hugh. Hugh: I am Hugh. Judge Maxwell: You are me? Hugh: No, I am Hugh. Judge Maxwell: Stop saying that. Make him stop saying that.

Dialogue

Hugh: Don't touch me, I'm a doctor. Judge Maxwell: Of what? Hugh: Music. Judge Maxwell: Can you fix a hi-fi? Hugh: No, sir. Judge Maxwell: Then shut up!

Dialogue

Frederick Larrabee: C'est la vie. Hugh Simon: C'est la guerre. Judy Maxwell: C'est la dreck.

Dialogue

Judy Maxwell: [Talking so Howard can hear]: No, no. I'm a transfer student. No, not the University -- the Conservatory of Music. It's in Ames. You never heard of it? Well, it's a small conservatory, but there are those who love it. There's a professor there whom I hope to be studying with. A brilliant man by the name of Howard Bannister. No, Bannister. As in: sliding down the. You never heard of him? Yeah, that's right! The nut with the rocks! What's up, Doc? Howard: Did you know that I love you? Judy Maxwell: Yes. Howard: You did? Do? Judy Maxwell: Listen, kiddo. You can't fight a tidal wave. Howard: About those things. I mean, the way I acted back there. I'm sorry. Judy Maxwell: Let me tell you something. Love means never having to say you're sorry. Howard: That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.