Step Brothers

Nancy: Somebody's awfully quiet back there.. Brennan: I'm not gonna call him "Dad". Nancy: Brennan, you're 39 years old. I would not expect you to call him "Dad". Brennan: Well, I'm not going to. Ever. Even if there's a fire! Robert better not get in my face... 'cause I'll drop that motherfucker. Nancy: Jesus, Brennan!

Step Brothers (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Dale: Dad. We're men, okay? That means a few things; we like to shit with the door open, we talk about pussy, we go on riverboat gambling trips, and we make our own beef jerky. That's what we do. And now that is all wrecked. Robert: (Thinks for a minute) We literally have never done any of those things.

Step Brothers (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Brennan: Where did he go to medical school? Nancy: He went to Northwestern and Johns Hopkins, is that good enough for you? Brennan: No, it’s not. Nancy: Well, Brennan, those are very prestigious schools. Brennan: I smoked pot with Johnny Hopkins. Nancy: You don't know anyone named Johnny Hopkins. Brennan: It was Johnny Hopkins and Sloan Kettering. And they were blazing that shit up every day.

Step Brothers (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Dale: Alright, here's a scenario for you, Dad. Suppose Nancy sees me coming out of the shower and decides to come on to me. I'm looking good. I've got a luscious V of hair going from my chest pubes down to my ball-fro. And she takes one look at me, and she goes: "Oh my God. I've had the old bull, now I want the young calf." And she grabs me by the wiener-- Robert: [yelling at Dale] SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!

Step Brothers (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Robert: That's enough ketchup... Come on, Dale. (Pounds the table) Dale: I like it! Robert: That's enough. Nancy: (As Brennan takes a small bowl of sauce from the table) Dale, I don't know if you...you might wanna try this. I make a sauce, we call it "fancy sauce"... Brennan: (Begins pouring the sauce on his meal) For me. Nancy: ...That Brennan really likes with his chicken nuggets. Brennan: It's my fancy sauce. Nancy: Well, when Brennan finishes I'll give you some of this, and its...its just ketchup and mayonnaise mixed together, so.. Brennan: Its so good. Dale: I want some fancy sauce. Brennan: I'm not done using it. Robert: Looks good. Dale: Can I have some fancy sauce? Nancy: Of course, of course. Brennan: I'm using it right now Nancy: So, let's let him try some. You wanna try some, Dale? Dale: Yeah, I really would like some. Brennan: Just one last spoonful. (Stops pouring the fancy sauce) Nancy: Hey, I think you've got enough there, Brennan. So here you go. It's ketchup and mayonn

Step Brothers (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Dale: Hey. Are you awake? Brennan: Yeah. Dale: I just want you to know I hate you. So does my dad. Brennan: Well, that’s fine. ‘Cause guess what? I hate you too. And this house sucks ass. Dale: The only reason you're living here is because me and my dad decided that your mom was really hot, and maybe we should just both bang her, and we'll put up with the retard in the meantime. Brennan: Who's the retard? Dale: You. Brennan: (Loudly) Hey ya'll don't say that! Dale: Shut up! You'll wake up my dad and get me grounded. Brennan: (Softly) Just shut up. Dale: You and your mom are hillbillies. This is a house of learn-ed doctors. Brennan: You're not a doctor... You're a big, fat, curly-headed fuck. Dale: (Turns towards Brennan) Oh, yeah? Brennan: (Turns towards Dale) Yeah. Dale: I'm a curly-headed fuck? Brennan: Yeah. You better not go to sleep. As soon as your eyes shut, I'm gonna punch you square in the face. Dale: I hope you stay still when you sleep... because I'm putting a rat trap betwe

Step Brothers (film), CC BY-SA 4.0