Mom

Christy: While other mothers were cooking dinner, you were cooking meth. Bonnie: Otherwise known as working.

Mom (TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0

Some mothers teach their daughters how to bake. Mine taught me how to beat a cavity search and still feel like a lady.

Mom (TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0

Christy: Mom, I've watched you lick cocaine crumbs out of a shag carpet. Bonnie: It's not a sin to be thrifty, dear.

Mom (TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0

Christy: Violet, I can't tell you not to have sex at your age, because I had sex at your age. Violet: Mom, I'm not having sex. Christy: Uh, don't lie to the woman who washes your sheets.

Mom (TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0

Christy: That's how you get into heaven, letting a little guy go up on you. Bonnie: I wish. All he wanted to do was spank me. Christy: Well, no good deed goes unpunished.

Mom (TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0

Violet: I'll have the test results in two minutes. Christy: That's great. I mean the time to worry is so much less. When I was pregnant with you, those things took 20 minutes. Violet: Really? Christy: Yeah, that's how far science has come. So, that's great! [to Bonnie] We'll know the test results in 2 minutes. Bonnie: Wow. When I was pregnant with you, those things took 2 hours. Christy: Really? Bonnie: Yeah, that's a long time to wait in a gas station bathroom.

Mom (TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0