Quotes

Pilot [1.01]

Zack Cropper: Sydney! Hey, listen- [Aside to Andrew] Hi. [Returning to Sydney] You know how I like to be conjugal on occasion, sometimes for the benefit of the agency, other times it's less philanthropic- Andrew knows- Andrew Keanelly: Don't involve me in this. Zach: Well, last night I did some conjugating on behalf of the company. She was present, I was perfect, it was all very progressive- Sydney Roberts: Zach- Zach: [Continuing] She works in account management at Shyat- Nice girl, I think you'd quite like her- Sydney: Zach. Zach: [Continuing] They met with McDonald's yesterday. We're getting fired, that's what today's meeting is about. Sydney: What? My father's in with them right now. Lauren Slotsky: Actually, he's not- I've been flashing them, like, for 20 minutes. [To the group] I mean that's assistant stuff, right? Part of my job? Andrew: It is. Zack: Yeah, I would do it.

Pilot [1.01]

[On the phone] I don't quite understand... They're saying she won't do it? At least, I think that's what they're saying. [Hanging up and turning to Sydney] Shakira's people, they're bilingual so I'm being denied in two different languages. We're screwed. Jennifer Lopez wants to be paid in diamonds, Maraiah's in an ashram, Adele's British, and... P!nk threatened me.

Pilot [1.01]

Kelly Clarkson: You're looking to remake you're brand, I'm looking to remake mine. Simon: Rebranding! Perfect, that's what we do! Zach: No one does it better. Kelly: See the old Kelly- Simon: Oh, please Classic Kelly! Zach: Kelly Classic. Kelly: Whatever. I wanna sing about sex.

Pilot [1.01]

Zack: We- just need to come up with a meat related sex song. Simon: For a family restaurant, and how hard could that be, really? I mean it almost writes itself when you think warm buns, a hamburger patty- pat my patty. Zach: Oh, like a pickle, like a p-p-p-p Simon: Stick a pickle in the bun and the fun's begun!