100 Girls

Rod: You're pathetic man. I mean you lose your virginity and you don't even get the girls name. Matthew: [pointing at the weight dangling between Rod's legs] What the hell is that? Rod: It's penile power man. I got it out of an ad in a magazine. I mean, it's going to help me increase my length and girth, all just by hanging weights from my cock, man. Check it out man. I'm up to five pounds.

100 Girls, CC BY-SA 4.0

Rod: You know, all you gotta do is find the matching bra to those panties and bam! Mystery solved! Matthew: That's not a half bad idea. Rod: Yeah.

100 Girls, CC BY-SA 4.0

Rod: What are you? Coyote super genius or something? Matthew: Yeah. Something like that. Rod: Wait! The Coyote never caught the Roadrunner, man!

100 Girls, CC BY-SA 4.0

Patty: You like my skirt, but you're thinking, "If her skirt were any shorter, she'd have another pair of cheeks to powder and have to put gloss on another pair of lips." Matthew: I... I wasn't thinking any of those things. I think you're a nice girl. [voice-over] I was lying. I did think all of those things.

100 Girls, CC BY-SA 4.0

Matthew: Hey, what are these? Are these... Are these stress balls? Like, you know to relieve tension, like uh... like Humphrey Bogart did in that old movie. What was it called? He was like, there are three ways to do things aboard my vessel. The right way, the wrong way and my way. If you do things my way, we'll get along just fine. Patty: Those are my Ben Wa balls. Matthew: What? Patty: Ben Wa balls. You know, I put them inside of me, I rock my legs and I get off. Matthew: Really?

100 Girls, CC BY-SA 4.0

Matthew: Y'know, I wonder why God equipped women with all the weapons for seduction. Rod: What do you mean? Matthew: Well, take the breast for example. You have the bosom, the areola, the nipple. I mean, those are three concentric circles. In other words, it's a bullseye! It's no wonder the breast is the target for all men. Rod: Wow. That's profound. Matthew: And men are grotesque. I'm not just talking about the little habits we have... Matthew: ...like cleaning our ears with our car keys. I mean, we're grotesque to the core. I mean, look at the penis. The penis... it just looks like God had some left-over skin when he was making elbow, and He decided to slap it in our groin... Rod: Hey, get that outta here! It freaks me out, ok? Matthew: I mean, the penis is the first to shrivel when it's cold, it's the first to shrink in fear. The penis is a coward. It's a cowardly flap of left-over elbow flesh. Rod: Maybe you wouldn't think that way if you had a little of my Penile Power, baby! [lau

100 Girls, CC BY-SA 4.0