Quotes

Dialogue

Jack Lawrence: This is the "wives of Christmas past" conversation. Carrie Lawrence: Would you leave Penelope and Talullah out of this? Jack Lawrence: Iris and Debbie. Carrie Lawrence: Whatever!

Dialogue

Jack Lawrence: You're a tragic hero. You're Lou Gehrig. Dale Putley: Who? Jack Lawrence: Lou Gehrig. Everybody knows Lou Gehrig. The baseball player. He died of Lou Gehrig's Disease. Dale Putley: Wow, what are the odds on that?

Dialogue

Dale Putley: How did you get her husband to talk? Jack Lawrence: I head-butted him. Dale Putley: How Joe Pesci of you. What are gonna do with her, run her through the Visa machine?

Dialogue

Dale Putley: Jack, look at this. Jack Lawrence: It's money. I remember it from when I was single.

Dialogue

Nikki: Well, Scotty, you're boring. I liked you for a while, but now I can't stand looking at you. Even your voice makes me sick. Dale Putley: That was lovely. Jack Lawrence: Yes, Hallmark is waiting for you.

Dialogue

Rose: Where do you like to stay? Jack Lawrence: My house, but it's in Los Angeles.

Dialogue

Jack Lawrence: What happened? Dale Putley: He poured hot coffee all over me. Took my clothes and he ran away. Jack Lawrence: Don't cry! Now where is he? Dale Putley: I don't know. Jack Lawrence: I don't like you.

Dialogue

Dale Putley: Do you have a boyfriend? Woman with broken car: No! Dale Putley: Good! Me neither!

Dialogue

Jack Lawrence: This kid is a major pain in the ass, he's just so damn annoying. Carrie Lawrence: You don't like anything that's annoying. Jack Lawrence: Who does? Carrie Lawrence: [serious] No, I mean that's a special thing for you.