Quotes

Dialogue

Kermit the Frog: [in a hot air balloon] Pretty nice up here, isn't it? Fozzie Bear: Kermit? What if we drift out to sea? What if we're never heard from again? What if there's a storm? Or - we get struck by lightning? Gonzo: That would be neat. Kermit the Frog: Listen, nothing's going to happen. These are just the opening credits. Fozzie Bear: Oh. Where are they? [title card appears] Wow! Kermit the Frog: The Great Muppet Caper. Fozzie Bear: Nice title.

Dialogue

Fozzie Bear: [pleading] We'll do better next time. News Editor: Next time? Next time?! [pounds fist into desk] What makes you think there's gonna be a next time? Kermit the Frog: Well, if there isn't, it's gonna be a real short movie.

Dialogue

Fozzie Bear: What does "BSC" stand for? Kermit the Frog: I don't know.

Dialogue

Miss Piggy: Why are you telling me all this? Lady Holiday: It's plot exposition. It has to go somewhere.

Dialogue

Christine: Look, Dad. There's a bear. Jerry Nelson: No, Christine, that's a frog. People wear hats.

Dialogue

Miss Piggy: Please don't go. Kermit, please. Oh, please, I'm sorry. Please! Please! Kermit the Frog: Piggy, hold it. Miss Piggy: Please! Please! Please! Kermit the Frog: Miss Piggy...? Miss Piggy? You're overacting. Miss Piggy: ...What? Kermit the Frog: You'e overacting. You're having it up. Miss Piggy: I am not. I am trying to save this movie. Kermit the Frog: [getting annoyed] Oh, yeah? Well, save your performance instead. Miss Piggy: I am playing eight hundred different emotions! Kermit the Frog: Well, try to play one of them right. Miss Piggy: Oh, oh! I have a career of my own. Kermit the Frog: I know all about your career, Pig. Miss Piggy: I don't need this lousy duck pond. Kermit the Frog: Sure, you don't need a lousy duck pond. Miss Piggy: I will just walk. Kermit the Frog: [angrily] OK, sure. Go ahead and walk. Miss Piggy: [briefly turning to the camera] Should I walk? Then I'll walk! Kermit the Frog: Walk! Go ahead and walk! [Miss Piggy turns away and whimpers] Oh, Miss Piggy.

Dialogue

Nicky Holiday: Miss Piggy...You're a very different looking woman. I'm so tired of the same type, those tall thin creatures with the long legs, the aquiline noses, the teeth like pearls, soft skin... Miss Piggy: Yeah, well, I can see where that might make you sick to your stomach.

Dialogue

[to Cops got Miss Piggy takes her away] Don't worry Miss Piggy, will you get out of this?!

Dialogue

Kermit the Frog: Now if we want to get Miss Piggy out of jail, we're going to have to catch those thieves red-handed. [Beauregard raises his hand] Yes, Beau? Beauregard: What color are their hands now?

Dialogue

Miss Piggy: [to the truck driver] Do you know where Lady Holliday's Baseball Diamond is being kept? Truck Driver: Well, funny enough, I do: it's at the Mallory Gallery, a virtually impregnable fortress many miles from here. Miss Piggy: Oh! I only have a half an hour to get there! Truck Driver: On foot? You'll never make it. Miss Piggy: I know! How about a ride? Truck Driver: You can read, I presume? "No passengers." [points to the sticker on the truck's door] Miss Piggy: Oh, could you make an exception for little old moi? Truck Driver: Not even for little old vous. [laughs] Miss Piggy: Pretty please? Truck Driver: No! Miss Piggy: [strained] I've tried to be nice. Truck Driver: Huh? Miss Piggy: Hii-yahh! [throws the driver out of his truck and into the garbage cans] Oscar the Grouch: [emerges from a trash can] Hey, what's all the racket? Truck Driver: What are you doing here? Oscar the Grouch: A very brief cameo. Truck Driver: Me too.

Dialogue

Kermit the Frog: But, Nicky, Why are you doing this? Nicky Holiday: Why am I doing this? Because I'm a villain, pure and simple.

Dialogue

Statler: Well i say, All's well that ends well. Waldorf: Well, it doesn't matter to me, as belong as it ends.