Quotes

Other

[reading from index cards] Welcome to Camp Inch, new arrivals. I am your supreme commander here. My name is... [turns to the next card and continues reading] Miss Inch. [frowns, looks back at the previous card in confusion, then re-reads the new one] Oh, yes, Miss Inch.

Dialogue

Ursala: I know! We'll wait until she comes over here and when she's not looking we'll dump ants down her dress! Betsy: Where are we gonna find ants at night, stupid? Ursala: Ooo, just thinking about it makes me so mad I could just spit!

Dialogue

Ursala: The nerve of her! Coming here with your face! Betsy: What are you gonna do about it? Susan Evers: Do? What in heaven's sake can I do, silly? Betsy: I'd bite off her nose. Then she wouldn't look like you.

Dialogue

Sharon McKendrick: [outside the dance with her roommates] Serves you right. Stay out of our tent from now on. Susan Evers: You vicious little wretch! [Susan slaps Sharon and Sharon slaps her back]

Dialogue

Miss Inch: Congratulations. In the history of our camp, that was the most infamous, the most revolting, the most disgusting display of hooliganism we have ever had. Miss Grunecker: Brawling like hooligans in front of our guests. Miss Inch: And worst of all, two sisters who should be setting a good example. Susan Evers: We're not sisters! Sharon McKendrick: I've never seen HER before in my life. Miss Inch: They are! Aren't they? Miss Grunecker: No ma'am. Just look-alikes. Miss Inch: An amazing resemblance.

Dialogue

Susan Evers: How old are you? Sharon McKendrick: Thirteen. Susan Evers: So am I. I can't wait till I'm eighteen and get my own car and stay out dancing till midnight. Sharon McKendrick: I'll be fourteen November 12th. Susan Evers: No kiddin'? That's my birthday too. Sharon McKendrick: Isn't that peculiar? November 12th? Susan Evers: Um huh. Funny, isn't it? Susan Evers: [Gets up off the bed] Uh oh. This one's full. [Looking around] Hey! What do ya know? It's stopped raining. Sharon McKendrick: [Both outside sitting on the step] What is your mother like? Susan Evers: I can't remember her. Sharon McKendrick: Did she die? Susan Evers: Nope. Busted up with Dad when I was young. But she was fabulous. Absolutely fabulous! Sharon McKendrick: How do you know? Susan Evers: There used to be a picture of her on Daddy's desk. But once he caught me looking at it and it's never been around since. Hey! You wanna come to the commissary and get a popsicle with me? Sharon McKendrick: Can you only think

Dialogue

Susan Evers: You want to meet Father. And I'm just dying to know Mother. Well, what if... Oh my gosh! It might be so scary that we might be able to pull it off. Sharon McKendrick: Pull what off? Susan Evers: Switch places! Sharon McKendrick: Switch? Susan Evers: We can do it. We're twins, aren't we? Oh, I'm want to know Mother! Look, now I'M getting goosebumps! Sharon McKendrick: Me, too. You know something? There's more to it than just switching places. I believe fate brought us together. Susan Evers: How so? Sharon McKendrick: If we switched, sooner or later, they'd have to unswitch us. Susan Evers: Mother would have to bring me to California to unmix us. Sharon McKendrick: And they'd have to meet again. Susan Evers: Face-to-face. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Sharon McKendrick: Exactly. Susan Evers: Let's go to work!

Dialogue

Charles McKendrick: [Susan starts sniffing the coat he is wearing] My dear, what are you doing? Susan Evers: Making a memory. Charles McKendrick: Making a memory? Susan Evers: All my life, when I'm quite grown-up I will always remember my grandfather and how he smelled of... [smells his jacket again] tobacco and peppermint. Charles McKendrick: Smelled of tobacco and peppermint. [starts chuckling] Well, I'll tell you what. I take the peppermint for my indigestion and as for the tobacco... [looks around] to make your grandmother mad.

Dialogue

Verbena: You didn't know what a good thing you had when you had it. Mitch Evers: Huh?

Dialogue

Vicky Robinson: You're a big girl now, Susan. You're old enough to understand that wonderful, delicate mystery that happens sometimes between a man and a woman. Sharon McKendrick: I know what wonderful, delicate mystery Daddy sees in you. And I can't say I blame him there, either. You're very nicely put together. Vicky Robinson: Your father underestimates you, I think. Sharon McKendrick: I'm sure you won't, will you, Vicky? Vicky Robinson: Susan, dear, you've had him to yourself all this time, and I can understand that suddenly to have another woman around, well, it's a tremendous intrusion. But all my life, it seemed, I've hoped and waited for someone like him: someone gentle and mature, rough-edged, but quick to laugh, someone understanding and wise. All the things that I've come to love and cherish in him. Sharon McKendrick: Well, that's very refreshing. Vicky Robinson: Why, dear? Sharon McKendrick: Most girls just run after Daddy because he's so wealthy. Vicky Robinson: [angrily] A

Dialogue

Susan Evers: [as Sharon] I don't think I'll be able to do any of those today. Grandmother: [surprised] What did you say? Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: Sharon! You interrupted your grandmother. Susan Evers: Well I have something important to tell you. [emphatically] Mother, I think what you and Daddy did to us children is lousy! In fact, I think it stinks! Grandmother: Sharon! Susan Evers: [approaching Grandmother] And let's get this straight, I'm not Sharon, I'm Susan. [facing her mother] Sharon, your Sharon, is out in California with Daddy. Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: But it's impossible! Grandmother: You can't be Susan. Susan Evers: But I AM Susan. Sharon and I met at camp, so we decided to switch places. She bit off her fingernails and I cut her hair, and now she's out in California with Dad, swimming and riding my horse and having a KEEN time and I'm stuck here with these lousy music lessons and I HATE them! Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: [staring as if too good to be true] Susan!

Dialogue

Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: Oh, it was just wonderful! Sharon McKendrick: [coming down the stairs] Mother! Oh, I'm so glad you came! [Sharon and Maggie hug] Oh! You look wonderful! What'd you do to yourself? Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: Do you like it? Sharon McKendrick: Oh, I love it! Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: Oh darling! [Maggie hugs Sharon again] Oh! Finally! Both of you together at last. What do you think of each other? Sharon McKendrick: Fine. Susan Evers: We love each other! Sharon McKendrick: Hi, Sue. Susan Evers: Hi. Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: [Addressing Sharon] Oh and just look at you! That short hair. Susan Evers: I cut it, Mother. Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: You know, I like it. Sharon McKendrick: Oh, and I love yours, Mother. Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: Where's your father? Sharon McKendrick: Oh, he's out somewhere on a horse. Susan Evers: [to Sharon] Are we in time? Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: [to Susan] Time? Sharon McKendrick: [to Susan] Didn't you tell

Dialogue

Mitch Evers: Ah Maggie, you're so beautiful. Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: [to brush it off] Ah... Mitch Evers: No I mean it! I know I don't say things like you want to hear, but I've been thinking a lot about you, and us, and the way things used to be... this might sound funny to you but you know what I've missed most of all? Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: Mitch? Mitch Evers: What? Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: You've got stew all over you. Mitch Evers: I don't care. Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick: Go and wash it off. [pause] What do you miss? Mitch Evers: Well, I don't care if it does sound silly; I miss those wet stockings you used to have hanging around the bathroom, and I miss my razor being dull because you used it to shave your legs with. And I miss the hairpins mixed up with the fish hooks in my tackle box... it's no fun having a clothes closet all to myself. And it's no fun swearing because you're not around to make believe you're shocked by it. Well, nothing's any good without y