Quotes

Dialogue

Brenda: Chris I'm begging you, it's really scary here. I've just seen three people shoot up, a bald Chinese lady with no pants on, and there's this old guy outside who wants his bedroom slippers! Old Man: [banging on telephone booth] Get out of my house! Brenda: [kicks out a small box and the guy's slippers] You just moved!

Dialogue

Chris: Now, boys. If either of you give me any grief over the next 60 minutes, I swear to God I'll kill you. Dead, murdered, stabbed. Daryl: Raped? Chris: I'm too old for this crap.

Dialogue

Daryl: Mike what? Chris: [confused] "Mike what" what? Brad: [equally confused] "Mike what, what" -- what're we talking about? Daryl: What's his last name? Chris: Todwell. Are you writing a book? Daryl: Mike Todwell?! Do you know him?! Brad: They go out. [Shrugs at Daryl, who goes back to asking Chris more questions] Daryl: He drives a red Camaro, right? Chris: Oh gee, Daryl, are you a gearhead AND a sex fiend? [Brad snorts] Anyway, a lot of guys drive red Camaros. Daryl: Yeah, but do they all have the license plate... [raises both thumbs in an exaggerated manner] "SO COOL"? [Brad bursts out in laughter while Chris smiles] Chris: That's Mike. Daryl: He's the guy who beat me up last summer for touching his car, which I didn't do. Brad: Oh, that was him?! Daryl: That was him! Chris: Mike wouldn't do that. Daryl: Yes, he would. Chris: No, he would not! Daryl: Yes, he would; he DID! He kicked my ass! You wanna see the footprint? Chris, Brad, Sarah: [firmly and in unison] NO!

Dialogue

College Girl: I'm so lonely! Daryl: How could a righteous babe like you be lonely? College Girl: That's the sweetest thing anybody's ever said to me! Daryl: Really? College Girl: Want to go to bed?

Dialogue

Chris: Don't worry. We'll get home. This has all just been a big mistake. Sarah: What about Brenda? Brad: That was her parents' mistake.

Dialogue

Daryl: The chick is losing it. Chris: I am not! Sarah: [to Daryl and Brad] You guys want some candy? Chris: Brad, no chocolate! Your acne! Sara. It is time for your cough syrup. Daryl, fasten the seat belt! Sarah: She's definitely losing it. Chris: I am not losing anything, I am still in control here! Got it?!

Dialogue

Chris: [to Joe Gipp] Sir, would you please take us to the next corner, and drop us off? Joe Gipp: [chuckling] In this neighborhood? Hey... I wouldn't even get out of the car in this neighborhood. Brad: Could you drop us off at the nearest mall? Joe Gipp: "A mall"? Where do y'all think we're at, Boise, Idaho? Shoo!

Dialogue

Daryl: Did you steal all of these cars? Joe Gipp: Yeah. It gets me some good money. Daryl: Isn't it kind of dangerous? Joe Gipp: Hey, I like danger, all right? Chris: You should try babysitting.

Dialogue

Gang Leader: Don't...fuck...with the Lords of Hell. Chris: Don't fuck with the babysitter!

Dialogue

Chris: ♪ I've got the... babysitting blues. ♪ Sarah, Brad, Daryl: ♪ Baby, baby. ♪ Chris: ♪ Babysitting blues. ♪ Sarah, Brad, Daryl: ♪ Baby, baby. ♪ Chris: ♪ Babysitting blues. ♪ Albert Collins: ♪ Now, there're nights ♪ Chris: ♪ You swear you were born to lose. Yeah! ♪ Albert Collins: ♪ Like tonight. ♪ Chris, Albert Collins: ♪ And you wish your feet were walking in someone else's shoes. ♪ Albert Collins: ♪ Some guys are out to get 'em. And the girl's probably dead. She ain't got a nickel. ♪ Sarah, Brad, Daryl: ♪ And we should be in bed! ♪ Albert Collins: ♪ And you're outta luck. ♪ Chris: ♪ Out of luck watching these guys. I've got the...babysitting blues. ♪ Everybody: ♪ Baby, baby. ♪ Chris: ♪ Babysitting blues. ♪ Everybody: ♪ Baby, baby. ♪ Chris: ♪ Babysitting bluuues. ♪

Dialogue

Brad: [to Mike] You're such a loser. Daryl: Here we go again. Brad: I can only dream about having somebody like Chris as a girlfriend, but you've got her, and you treat her like this? Mike: Don't waste your time, half pint. Her legs are locked together at the knee. Brad: [grabs him by the collar] I'd love to hit you. I'd love to pound on your face! Mike: Yeah? Go ahead. Brad: But I won't. You're so slimy, I won't sink to your level. Daryl: I will. [kicks Mike in the rear, sending him crashing onto a table]

Dialogue

Chris: Who was at the door? Brad: Stray dog.

Dialogue

Chris: I don't think your parents will ever ask me to babysit again. Brad: If they do, I'd ask them for a buck more an hour.