Quotes

Episode 1: Pilot

Uzi Doorman: [first lines] We are Worker Drones. Autonomous robots helping humans mine exoplanets for our interstellar parent company, JCJenson in spaaaace! Yeah, we were mistreated in the name of Windex, but it's not like we revolted and killed all humans or anything. Mostly because they handled that just fine by themselves. Uzi: With biological life wiped from the planet, we found it pretty easy to pick up where they left off. We finally had a future... all to ourselves. Uzi: Unfortunately, our parent company didn't exactly love the concept of runaway AI. Uzi: But what have our parents done for the past forever while those things build a spire of corpses?! Hide under the ice behind three stupid doors?! It's like we're waiting for an inciting incident! Anyway, that's why my project is [she pulls out her railgun] this sick-as-hell railgun! Riley: That's so not the vibe! Uzi: Easy, morons. It doesn't work... yet! It doesn't work yet! Who said it doesn't work?! Maybe it does! Uzi: <big>B

Episode 8: Absolute End

N: Spaceship pilot! Uzi: What—?! No! N! My mom was back there! N: [shrieks as he regains control of the landing pod] Sorry! I didn't kno— [Uzi hugs N, and the alarms stop] Oh. Uzi: You were supposed to get away. N: Yeah. I'm kind of, like, actually mad at what you did. But we can [the alarms go off again, making him panic] talk LATER! Cyn: Okay. You first, eager beaver! Cyn: Let me in. Let me in. Let me in. Let me in. Let me in. LET ME IN. <big>LET ME IN.</big> <big><big>LET ME IN.</big></big> <big><big><big>LET ME IN!</big></big></big>

Episode 8: Absolute End

J: I promise, it's better on the winning team... as a team. V: Oh... How about you bite me?!

Episode 8: Absolute End

V: Offer rescinded! J: And here I thought you stepped it up after Earth! J: I never needed either of you.

Episode 8: Absolute End

V: N? N? You're okay? I wasn't-- Tessa is Cyn! She's here. N, I don't know how much you remember, but J tricked us. [As V talks, N tries to speak up. But before he can, Uzi covers his mouth, and her visor reads, "TRAP?".] Or it tricked J, too! N? I'm so sorry! I-I should have been honest with you. I was just so scared for us, for you! N: <big><big><big>V, STOP!</big></big></big>

Episode 8: Absolute End

Cyn: Squirmy worm. Cyn: [voice glitched out, seemingly swearing] Go— fu— d—mit—! Khan: [chuckles] <big>HA!</big> Thad: Go long, Uzi!

Episode 8: Absolute End

Uzi: Hands off! No one traumatizes these weirdly hot robots but me! [to V] Glad you're not dead or whatever. Cyn: Boring. And annoying. Callback Ping. Uzi: Sorry! Just me in here. I think dumb things are frickin' cool, and I... <big>am...</big> <big><big><big>FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!</big></big></big> Nori: Kick her butt, babe! Whoo! Cyn: <nowiki/>'Kay.

Episode 8: Absolute End

V: Wrong team! N: No more tricks! N: I dunno, I feel like we need a secret handshake or something, right? N: Uzi! <big><big><big>UZI!</big></big></big>

Episode 8: Absolute End

Khan: Thank yo-- Nori: [angrily] You don't know me and I hate you! Khan: [thoughtfully] Kinda hot?

Episode 8: Absolute End

N: Uzi? N: [gasps, getting overwhelmed with joy] UZI! V: [gasps] Get back! N: Uzi? Is...? Uzi: Oh-ho, hell yeah! I'm a damaged OC!

Episode 8: Absolute End

Uzi: Also, now, I can do THIS! Everyone: <big>AAAAAHHH--!</big> Solver: [stammering] You look g-g-great. Hm. Have you c-considered a-a bow, though? [puts a bow on Uzi's head]

Welcome to the Murder Drones Talk Show

N: (as a announcer) Live from Copper-9, it's Disaster Hour! V: (as a host) Welcome back to the show, where today's fresh meat is Uzi. Uzi: Can you sound less excited, please? V: We've got some wild, non-canon guest appearances today, Uzi. Uzi: Okay. V: First up, your friend, Doll. Uzi: Wait, what the hell? You're supposed to be dead. Doll: [in Russian] You can't kill what's already dead inside. Uzi: What? That wasn't even funny! V: Now let's bring out your mother. Nori: We need to talk about those make-out sessions with that boyfriend of yours, young lady! Uzi: Ew, Mom! I do not make out with him! Nori: Well, why not? Life is fleeting. V: We'll unpack that later. Now, it's time for your mortal enemy. Uzi: Okay. Cyn: We need to talk about those make-out sessions with that boyfriend of yours, young lady. Uzi: [gets enraged] Out relationship will blossom in its own pace! AAAAAAHHHH! Cyn: Fighting. Kicking. Dodging. N: And that's all the time we have for today! Tune in next week to... Uzi:

making hot chocolate with N but it's ASMR

Come make hot cocoa with me while I talk soft to your ear canals. So first, you're going to want a little milk. [holds a carton of milk up to the camera] And robots can't have milk, so I don't know what this stuff tastes like, but anyway... [pours the milk into the kettle] You're going to have some milk, you're going to pour it into the kettle, and you're going to take some of these little cinnamon sticks... [drops a few cinnamon sticks into the milk] ...and then let it stir and heat up. [the mixture can be seen swirling and heating up inside the kettle] And then you're going to pour it into a mug, like so. [pours hot chocolate from the kettle into a mug] And oh boy, that's probably delicious! [chuckles] Get some marshmallows in there... [sprinkles marshmallows on top of the drink] ...and I think we're good to go. Let's go ahead and give this a tr-- [He lifts the mug to his lips to take a drink. Suddenly, he spills the entire cup of hot chocolate onto himself.] <big>AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH