Murder Drones

Uzi Doorman: [first lines] We are Worker Drones. Autonomous robots helping humans mine exoplanets for our interstellar parent company, JCJenson in spaaaace! Yeah, we were mistreated in the name of Windex, but it's not like we revolted and killed all humans or anything. Mostly because they handled that just fine by themselves. Uzi: With biological life wiped from the planet, we found it pretty easy to pick up where they left off. We finally had a future... all to ourselves. Uzi: Unfortunately, our parent company didn't exactly love the concept of runaway AI. Uzi: But what have our parents done for the past forever while those things build a spire of corpses?! Hide under the ice behind three stupid doors?! It's like we're waiting for an inciting incident! Anyway, that's why my project is [she pulls out her railgun] this sick-as-hell railgun! Riley: That's so not the vibe! Uzi: Easy, morons. It doesn't work... yet! It doesn't work yet! Who said it doesn't work?! Maybe it does! Uzi: <big>B

Murder Drones, CC BY-SA 4.0

N: Spaceship pilot! Uzi: What—?! No! N! My mom was back there! N: [shrieks as he regains control of the landing pod] Sorry! I didn't kno— [Uzi hugs N, and the alarms stop] Oh. Uzi: You were supposed to get away. N: Yeah. I'm kind of, like, actually mad at what you did. But we can [the alarms go off again, making him panic] talk LATER! Cyn: Okay. You first, eager beaver! Cyn: Let me in. Let me in. Let me in. Let me in. Let me in. LET ME IN. <big>LET ME IN.</big> <big><big>LET ME IN.</big></big> <big><big><big>LET ME IN!</big></big></big>

Murder Drones, CC BY-SA 4.0

J: I promise, it's better on the winning team... as a team. V: Oh... How about you bite me?!

Murder Drones, CC BY-SA 4.0

V: Offer rescinded! J: And here I thought you stepped it up after Earth! J: I never needed either of you.

Murder Drones, CC BY-SA 4.0

V: N? N? You're okay? I wasn't-- Tessa is Cyn! She's here. N, I don't know how much you remember, but J tricked us. [As V talks, N tries to speak up. But before he can, Uzi covers his mouth, and her visor reads, "TRAP?".] Or it tricked J, too! N? I'm so sorry! I-I should have been honest with you. I was just so scared for us, for you! N: <big><big><big>V, STOP!</big></big></big>

Murder Drones, CC BY-SA 4.0

Cyn: Squirmy worm. Cyn: [voice glitched out, seemingly swearing] Go— fu— d—mit—! Khan: [chuckles] <big>HA!</big> Thad: Go long, Uzi!

Murder Drones, CC BY-SA 4.0