Quotes

Dialogue

Johnny Knoxville: You just have to stand there. Ryan Dunn: Yeah, and get killed! Johnny Knoxville: It's just gonna be loud. It's going to hurt a lot, but it's just loud. Ryan Dunn: You're nuts!

Dialogue

Bam Margera: You gave me a hologram dick! There's three solid dicks, there's one half-assed one right here, and then you gave me a set of balls. Johnny Knoxville: But a sweet set of balls! Bam Margera: Rad... I'd rather rip my dick off and throw it in the river than to do that again. Goddamn!

Dialogue

April Margera: [After seeing the brand on Bam's ass] You're going to have that for life! Bam Margera: No shit! April Margera: Why would you burn him in the first place, Dunn? Ryan Dunn: 'Cause it was funny...

Dialogue

Bam Margera: Ape, I got a muffed-up ass butt! April Margera: I know, and you had the cutest butt ever and now you ruined it! Bam Margera: No, Dick Farm Dunn ruined it.

Dialogue

Johnny Knoxville: [While Bam is in a livestock trailor with a cobra snake] You crying? Bam Margera: Yeah.

Dialogue

Bam Margera: So the guys think they're coming here for a photo shoot, but little do they know we've got a shitload of bees we're gonna put through the sunroof and we've rigged the locks so they can't get out. Johnny Knoxville: And when they do get out, we got some marbles waiting for them. Bam Margera: This is the Beehive Limo.

Dialogue

Manny Puig: The anaconda is the largest snake in the world. It feeds on large animals and can kill grown men within minutes. Wee-Man, probably in seconds. Johnny Knoxville: Why would you say that right before we film?

Dialogue

Ryan Dunn: This isn't the best idea ever. Bam Margera: Yes, it is.

Dialogue

Johnny Knoxville/Irving Zisman: [At a take-out vendor truck with Knoxville maked up as senior citizen prosthesis as Irving Zisman, with Slater Davis as "his grandson" smoking a cigarette] Hey, can we get us some fries, please? Some time today. There you go. Take a sip. That'll put lead in your pencil, kid. Slater Davis: You got a light? Johnny Knoxville/Irving Zisman: Shit. Man: Hey, little guy, is that a real cigarette? Johnny Knoxville/Irving Zisman: Piss off, man. Man: Is it? Slater Davis: He said, "Piss off!" Johnny Knoxville/Irving Zisman: Jesus. Slater Davis: Here, Gramps. Johnny Knoxville/Irving Zisman: Thank you. Don't hog it all, you little prick. Give me that. Man: This is LA. Johnny Knoxville/Irving Zisman: What? Man: This is LA. Johnny Knoxville/Irving Zisman: Yeah? Don't do what? Man: We don't drink out in public. Johnny Knoxville/Irving Zisman: You don't drink out in public? Man: No. Johnny Knoxville/Irving Zisman: Well, maybe you should start, bub. Man: Yeah. Where are y

Dialogue

Johnny Knoxville: You alright? Chris Pontius: Yeah, hold on. Johnny Knoxville: What do you mean "hold on"? The bull's not gonna hold on! Chris Pontius: Ah, my fucking leg. Goddamn, these bulls are strong!

Dialogue

Johnny Knoxville: I'm Johnny Knoxville, and I'm going to the moon! Crew Member: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1! Bam Margera: Later! [Presses the launch button, causing Johnny Knoxville and the rocket to blast off and fall into the lake]

Dialogue

Dave England: [After going downhill in the Big Tire Race] Oh I hate that, I hate it so bad! Fuckin' sucky! Ryan Dunn: Why do you hate it? Dave England: I'm bouncing in my fuckin' head!

Dialogue

Dave England: [Gets knocked out by a large airbag] Ah... fuckin' shit... what was that shit? It's fuckin' in my eyes... Johnny Knoxville: Oh! Oooo! Dave England: Uh... what the fuck was that? Johnny Knoxville: Oh my... Dave England: I fuckin' don't understand... what the fuck did you do to me? WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?! Johnny Knoxville: Uh... are you... Dave England: You're fuckin' me up man! Johnny Knoxville: Let's go inside man! Dave England: Oh... FUCK DUDE... I... that was fuckin' CRAZY!

Dialogue

Manny Puig: The anaconda is the largest snake in the world. It feeds on large animals and can kill grown men within minutes. Wee-Man, probably in seconds. Johnny Knoxville: Why would you say that right before we film?

Dialogue

Dimitry Elyashkevich: [Terrible Middle East accent] Father, hello, Father. Ehren McGhehey: [Outraged] You shut up, I told you to come here earlier! Dimitry Elyashkevich: I am sorry, Father. Ehren McGhehey: [Terrible Middle East accent] You are late, you cannot be accepted. Dimitry Elyashkevich: I have disgraced you. Ehren McGhehey: Where have you been, you little bastard? Dimitry Elyashkevich: [Apologetically] I have been making a number two. Ehren McGhehey: Oh.

Dialogue

Wee Man: What are thinking about, Preston? Preston Lacy: I wish all of that water was gravy and all those cars were giant biscuits. Wee Man: [Laughing] Are you hungry? Preston Lacy: I was just saying... Wee Man: Oh, all right!

Dialogue

Johnny Knoxville: [At a clinic that specializes in leech therapy on eyes] Doc, can you help us? Jay Chandrasekhar: Uh, yeah, why not?

Dialogue

Johnny Knoxville: This is the Toro Totter. It's me and Pontius vs. Dunn and Bam - and the last guy on the Totter is the winner. Chris Pontius: It's gonna be a blood bath.