Quotes

Dialogue

Sebastian: Did you ever hear the one about Superman and Wonder Woman? Matt: Stop clowning around. Sebastian: No, come on, this is a good one. Superman's flying over Metropolis, right? He's horny as hell and he's checking out the rooftops. And all of a sudden, he sees Wonder Woman sunning herself on the roof of the Justice League. I mean, she is lying there, buck naked, and spread eagle. Looks like she wants to get fucked, right? So Superman starts thinking to himself, "Oh, my God, I gotta get myself some of that wonderpussy." But then, he realizes that he can fly down, do a little fast pumping, he'll be gone before she even sees him. Because he's Superman, right? He's faster than a speeding bullet. So Superman, he swoops down, he fucks her so quick, she doesn't even see him. Wonder Woman sits up and says, "What the fuck was that?", and the Invisible Man says, "I don't know, but my asshole is killing me." That's funny, right? Matt: Hmm. Sebastian: C'mon, guys. That's funny.

Dialogue

Linda: Sebastian, do you have any idea what time it is? Sebastian: Da Vinci never slept. Said it was a waste of time.

Dialogue

Linda: 11 months, and you suddenly come up with it out of the blue. How? Sebastian: The usual: coffee and Twinkies.

Dialogue

Frank: [over intercom] This is God. You are disturbing the natural order of things, and will be severely punished for all eternity. God has spoken. Sebastian: How many times I have to tell you, Frank? You're not God. I am.

Dialogue

Frank: I just hope we're not making a snuff film. Rolling. Janice: If it is a snuff film, I got dibs on his Porsche. Frank: Janice, how can you say that? Janice: Sorry. Frank: The Porsche is mine.

Dialogue

Matt: Any last words? Sebastian: Yeah - if I die, pretend I said something deep and clever.

Dialogue

Sebastian: Well, your objections have been duly noted and summarily overruled. Sarah: Yes, sir! Sebastian: How come when you say "Yes, sir", it kinda sounds like "Fuck you!"? Sarah: Practice.

Dialogue

Matt: Sebastian, can you hear me? Sebastian: The lights! Turn off the... lights! Sebastian: I can't close my eyes. Linda: You can, but your eyelids are transparent. Sebastian: It's weird. I feel the same, but I'm not here. Linda: You're here.

Dialogue

Janice: So, what's it like being a ghost? Sebastian: Ghosts are dead. I'm very much alive.

Dialogue

Sebastian: I can't take much more testing. Matt: I know how hard it is. Sebastian: Bullshit. You don't know anything. Matt: This isn't easy for any of us. Sebastian: Fuck you, Matt! It is easy for you. I was to be in phase-shift for three days. It's been ten fucking days, all right? Ten days of tissue tests, radiation tests and your fucking needles! I can't fucking take it anymore. Matt: What I meant was... Sebastian: Fuck what you meant! And don't ever... Don't ever tell me how hard you have it.

Dialogue

Sebastian: Hey, would you like to know what it's like making love to an invisible man? Linda: It would just be like old times. Sebastian: What do you mean? Linda: You were never there.

Dialogue

Dr. Kramer: I'm going to call out the scientific council. Matt: Is there anything we can do in the meantime? Dr. Kramer: How about clearing out your offices? Linda: For what is worth, we're both very sorry. Dr. Kramer: It's a little a late for apologies. Mrs. Kramer: What's the problem? Dr. Kramer: Just a screw-up at work! Mrs. Kramer: How bad? Dr. Kramer: Bad enough to wake up a few Generals.

Dialogue

Frank: You think Sebastian is bad? Just wait 'til our military gets their hands on this. Sarah: Better our military than someone else's.