Bubba Ho-tep

JFK: That's where they took a piece of my brain. They got it back in D.C. in that God damn jar. [pause] I got a little bag of sand up there now. Elvis: But Jack uhh, no offense but... [pause] President Kennedy was a white man. JFK: That's how clever they are. They dyed me this color, all over. Can you think of a better way to hide the truth than that?

Bubba Ho-Tep, CC BY-SA 4.0

Callie: But why would you want to leave all that fame, Mr. Presley? All that money? Elvis: I don't know. 'Cause they got old. The woman I loved, Priscilla, she was gone. The rest of the women... were just women. I mean, the music wasn't even mine anymore. Hell, I wasn't even me anymore, just this thing they made up. And my "friends"... well, they were sucking me dry.

Bubba Ho-Tep, CC BY-SA 4.0

Elvis: Ask not what your rest home can do for you. Ask what you can do for your rest home. JFK: Hey, you're copying my best lines! Elvis: Then let me paraphrase one of my own. Let's take care of business. JFK: Just what are you getting at, Elvis? Elvis: I think you know what I'm gettin' at Mr. President. We're gonna kill us a mummy.

Bubba Ho-Tep, CC BY-SA 4.0

JFK: He had me on the floor and had his mouth over my asshole! Elvis: A shit eater? JFK: I don't think so. He was after my soul. Now you can get that out of any major orifice of a person's body. I read about it. Elvis: Oh, yeah? Where, man? Hustler?

Bubba Ho-Tep, CC BY-SA 4.0

The Nurse: Don't carry it too far. You may just get way out there and not come back. Elvis: Oh, fuck you! Elvis: Shit! Get old, you can't even cuss someone and have it bother 'em. Everything you do is either worthless or sadly amusing.

Bubba Ho-Tep, CC BY-SA 4.0

Elvis: Look, man, President Johnson's dead. JFK: Shit. That ain't gonna stop him.

Bubba Ho-Tep, CC BY-SA 4.0