Daddy Day Care

Ben: Good morning, Daddy. Charlie: [wakes up] Hey, Ben, how you doing, man? [yawns] Oh, God. Daddy's got to get ready for work. Ben: Can't you stay home? Charlie: No, I got a big day at work today. A real big day.

Daddy Day Care, CC BY-SA 4.0

Charlie: What's going on? Phil: Your worst nightmare. Charlie: What? Phil: Mr. Broccoli's a no-show. Actor: He got a callback for a potato chip commercial. Charlie: These snack foods are killing us! Phil: Yeah, I know... Charlie: [looks around for a replacement for Mr. Broccoli, his eyes land on Marvin, a nerdy outcast who's pilfering through the mail] Marvin! Marvin: Yeah? Phil: [to Charlie] Marvin? The guy who smells the mail? Charlie: [quietly to Phil] Yes, look; we need a guy who can wear a broccoli suit, not a normal person. [loudly] Marvin, my man! My friend Marvin! Hey man, what's going on today? Listen, we need a favor: We're having a little focus group in there and the guy who's supposed to wear the broccoli suit left, so you can put the suit on and cover for us. Marvin: No...I just can't do the broccoli, cause it's just not me. Sorry... [notices the guy in the carrot suit] Hey, can I be the carrot, though? Charlie: Yeah...Yeah, you can be the carrot! Let him try the carrot on

Daddy Day Care, CC BY-SA 4.0

Mr. Broccoli: B-R-O-CC-O-L-I! [claps twice] I am the broccoli, and don't know why! C-A-RR-O and a T! Carrots are healthy for you and me! [starts shouting and dancing while The Message by Grand-Master Flash plays] Go broccoli! It's yo birthday! Go broccoli! It's yo birthday! Go carrot! Go carrot! Go carrot... Marvin: [timid] No, I don't wanna.... Mr. Broccoli: Hello, boys and girls! Zowie, do we have a special treat for you today! Marvin: [reading off of flashcards that he's holding in his hand] Hey! We have a brand-new cereal! [drops the flashcards] You're the first kids- [tries to bend over to get his cards] Help! [falls over onto his face; struggling to get up off the floor] Mr. Broccoli: [decides to stand in for Marvin] It's super yummy and LOADED... [pretends to blow smoke off the barrel of some finger guns] with all sorts of stuff that's good for you! And do you know what we call it? VEGGIE-OOOOOOOOOS!!! Kid: THIS CEREAL SUCKS!! Phil: They're turning on us... Charlie: Give it a ch

Daddy Day Care, CC BY-SA 4.0

Jim: We're killing it. Charlie: Hey, come on Jim, we had one bad test and it's a hard nut to crack. Any fool can sell chocolatey chocolate balls and cotton candy-flavored cereal to kids, man. Jim: [takes out his notebook and a pen and writes something down] Cotton candy. That's not bad. Hey guys, look, I'm sorry, but it was a dog. Kids just don't want to eat vegetables for breakfast. Who knew? Charlie: It's exactly what I told you six months ago when you put us on this project. Jim: You did? Well, it's not just Veggie-O's. We're shutting down the whole health division. Phil: [appalled] That's like 300 people. Jim: Yeah, it's just not a business we want to be in.

Daddy Day Care, CC BY-SA 4.0

Kim: So, Pooch, how was your first day at school? Ben: Okay. Kim: Just Okay? Ben: I don't know anybody there. Kim: Oh, well, give it some time. You'll make some friends. [to Charlie] How was your day, baby? Charlie: I lost my J-O-B. Kim: You lost your J-O-B? Charlie: I got F-I-R-E-D. Me and 300 other people. Kim: They cannot do that. What about Jim Fields? Can't he do something? Charlie: Jim Fields is the one that pulled the trigger. Now, he's not gonna be inclined to do anything 'cause when I found out it was him, I told him he could take a flying F... Kim Hinton: Charlie! Charlie: H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-P. Don't worry about this. I'm a guy in demand, and I'll have a new job in a week. A week.

Daddy Day Care, CC BY-SA 4.0

Charlie: This is the right address. Kim: You gotta be kidding me! Charlie: Hey, we can at least check it out, you know! Kim: Ben is NOT going here! Charlie: Looks can be deceiving, let me just go take a look! Kim: "Looks can be deceiving"?! We're in a trailer park! Trailer Park Lady: Yeah...??? Charlie: I might've made a mistake; I'm looking for the preschool. Trailer Park Lady: [putting her cigarette away] Oh-ho, yes, it is! [flips around a "BEWARE OF DOG" sign to reveal that "TOUCH OF EDEN PRESCHOOL" is written on the back] Welcome to the- [goes into a smoking induced coughing fit] Sorry...Welcome to the Touch of Eden Preschool, can I help you? Charlie: [realizing that Kim was totally right] Oh, no thank you... [the next place on their list is a farmhouse owned by an old couple. They walk up to an old woman fanning herself] Is this the right place??? Kim: I think so... Old Woman: [gets up to greet Charlie and Kim] Hello... Charlie: Hi! Old Woman: [leads Charlie and Kim off the porch]

Daddy Day Care, CC BY-SA 4.0