Quotes

1960

Sometimes I wish we were more like them Barlows. At least they're not rowin' all the time!

1960

Ena Sharples: Sometimes I think I am bout ready to go down to that cemetery. Martha Longhurst: Really? Ena: I would just like to go the way me mother did. Martha: Ooh, that were a beautiful ending. Ena: Lovely - she just sat up, broke wind, and died.

1965

Ken Barlow: Well, what can I do after this lot? Valerie: is still angered and does not reply Ken: Val. What do you want me to say? That I made a stupid mistake? That I shouldn't have gone out and left them? [Tries to make out what he hopes is Val's reply] "Oh no, Ken! I agree!" Val, will you listen? Valerie: Another five minutes, and this whole house could have gone up! Peter and Susan lying upstairs alone, what chance do you think they'd have had? Ken: Val, please don't rub it in, how do you think I feel? Val: One night a week, I go out, one night! I don't know, maybe it's my fault, maybe I'm expecting too much! You're supposed to be the one with the brains, you're always telling me how stupid I am! There isn't a kid in this street who'd do what you did - go out leaving two babies alone, a fire half way up the chimney with a maiden of clothes drying, and for what? to go drinking at the Rovers? Ken: That's not true and you know it, I went to get some cigarettes! Val: Then what took you

1971

Valerie Barlow: Hello? Oh hi! Yes, I know, but you've no idea, when I got the dress out, the hemp had come unpicked, and... well... you'll just have to wait! I haven't got another dress and my hair is still wet! Ken: [who is at the Rovers] Well, come as you are... wet hair, no dress - it's all the rage! Don't be so bashful! Oh come on, you've got to put your face on. Look, why not wear the one that god gave you, we both happen to like it! Valerie: Look, give me about half an hour... well twenty minutes and I'll be fit to be seen. Yes, well you're my husband, so it's a bit different... that's a bit cheeky, even for you! Soon as I can! Bye.<br /> Albert: I have lived my life. Why couldn't the Good Lord have taken me stead of our Valerie? Irma: I think it has something to do with being born a Barlow or marrying a Barlow, life sure has it in for us.

1973

Deirdre: Go on, ask me, say "What do you want most in all the world?" Alan: What do you want most in all the world? Deirdre: A wardrobe.

1974

Albert Tatlock: Have you got summat to tell me? Albert: Well, if you got summat to say, spit it out instead of rabbitin' on about nothin'. Minnie: I am not rabbitin' on about nothin', Albert, I am definitely rabbitin' on about somethin'. Albert: What? Minnie: Our future life together. I don't think we got one.

1977

They knew the meaning of magnificence.

1983

Bet Lynch: Things were bad. You had more than enough to answer for before, but now... Fred Gee: Oh, belt up, will you? Bet: ...you've done me and my gorgeous new outfit the final, the most unforgivable mischief! Not content with doing your damnedest to feed me to the flamin' fishes, you have put me down right slap bang in the middle of a flamin' cow plop!

1991

Jackie Ingram: Don't touch me! Mike: What? Jackie: I don't want you to touch me and I don't want you anywhere near me.

2004

(Suranne Jones) to Tracy Barlow (Kate Ford): Try any more stunts like that and I will be booking your funeral! Now that, is enough!

2005

Frankie: You cannot kick us out of our house, you looney! Blanche: I heard that!

2006

If he so much as looks at me wrong today, I'll bop him one.

2006

Emily: Well, you know what they say. Third time lucky. Blanche: They'll be lucky if they make it to the end of the reception. Norris: Do jewellers do refunds?

2007

Sean: And she's like, you know, "You stay at your side of the bar and I'll stay at mine" and that I love the girl to bits but, admit defeat. Paul: GET OUT! Female 1: GET OFF HIM! Female 2: What do you think you're playing at? Paul: If you saw the state of her the night Ryan's dad died, if you had the slightest idea... Sean: I know. Paul: NO, YOU DON'T KNOW! But for a second there we thought she might be happy again. Kelly: You ain't and you can't just blame Sean what about Sonny boy! Paul: Yeah but then you come along a mate, and then you lied to her, you ruined her trust, AND BRING IT ALL FLOODING BACK TO HER! Sean: I'm so sorry! Paul: Prancing round my factory? Laughing at my sister? For this is a family business mate NOW GET OUT!!!!

2007

Sean: And I have found a perfect man for you. Sean: I guarantee you won't be disappointed. Violet: So when you know. Sean: Kinda. Violet: Well if he's so perfect for me then why is it taking so long to think of him? Sean: Because sometimes you can't see what's under your snoz. Violet: Well, what's his name? Sean: Johnny. Violet: Right, and where does he live? Sean: In my pocket. Violet: In your... Sean: Johnny Depp. Pirates Of The Caribbean. Violet: What can I say... the perfect man. Sean: All you need is a bar of chocolate, a packet of crisps and a nice bottle of dry white and it's a perfect date. Violet: Well I think that's exactly what I need - a disposable man, you can pop him back in the box when you're done with him. Sean: Aw, it's nice to see you smile again.

2007

Sean: [Singing] Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday sorry it's late, happy birthday to you! Steve: Thank you Sean. Sean: Oh charming, I'll have it back. Sean: Ooh, Michelle!

2007

Violet: I want a baby Sean. [Weeping quietly] Sean: [Whispers] I know.

2007

On carpets, not on wedding dresses!

2009

Blanche: Oh, for the love of God! Blanche: A grown man, dressed as a Giesha? Have you gone stark staring mad? Ken: It is no different to a dressing gown. I mean what. Is there a rule? Thou shalt wear terry towelling in the North West of England? Blanche: There should be. Ken: Look it's not eccentric, it's Japanese and it makes me feel comfortable. Blanche: Well that's understandable. [Turns back to Ken) But Ken! Always got to be different. Always sniffing out controversy. Does Tennessee Williams wear kimono?] Ken: Tennessee Williams is dead! Blanche: I'm not surprised!

2009

[To Luke about Rosie] The only thing lower than that daft lass' neckline is her IQ.