Hitch

Hitch: Allegra? As in "Allegra Cole"? Albert: I realize I'm not her usual kinda guy. Hitch: Well her last boyfriend like... owned Sweden, or something! Albert: Yeah, and he was a bum.... I mean he didn't seem like a very nice person... to me. Hitch: You... you swing for the fence!

Hitch (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Hitch: You are flat out, out of your mind, you know that? Albert: I know. Hitch: That's good! Albert: It is? Hitch: Yeah. You ever heard of Michelangelo? The Sistine Chapel? Albert: Yeah. Hitch: [Gestures towards himself] Michelangelo. [Gestures towards Albert] The Sistine Chapel. Albert: Does this mean you can do this? Hitch: My name's Alex Hitchens. Let's go paint that ceiling.

Hitch (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Max: Spoken like a true cynic. Evan was here Sara: I'm not a cynic, I'm a realist! Max: Or a realist masquerading as a cynic who is secretly an optimist. What are you doing here? [to the room] What is she doing here? Sara: SHE works here, remember?! Max: No, she doesn't. Not for another four days. Go home. Sara: Well, this couldn't wait. Max: Of course it could... what are you doing? Go back to the beach, I don't want you here. Sara: No, really, you do. Max: You are becoming a sick workaholic lunatic.. and this is exactly the kind of nervous overwrought behavior that leads to... Sara: ... Pictures of Sebby with a busty brunette. Max: ... A very, very big raise.

Hitch (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Sara: What's your name? Chip: They call me Chip. Sara: Aw, you can't get 'em to stop?

Hitch (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Hitch: Now, on the one hand, it is very difficult for a man to even speak to someone who looks like you. But, on the other hand, should that be your problem? Sara: So life's kind of hard all around. Hitch: Not if you pay attention. I mean, you're sending all the right signals - no earrings, heels under two inches, your hair is pulled back, you're wearing reading glasses with no book, drinking a Grey Goose martini, which means you had a hell of a week and a beer just wouldn't do it. And if that wasn't clear enough, there's always the "fuck off" that you have stamped on your forehead. because who is going to believe there is a man out there that can sit down beside a woman he doesn't know and genuinely be interested in who she is, what she does, without his own personal agenda? Sara: Yeah, I wouldn't even know what that would look like. So what would a guy like that say? Hitch: Well, he'd say, "My name is Alex Hitchens and I'm a consultant," but she wouldn't be interested in that because

Hitch (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Hitch: So, tell me about her. Vance: Have you ever met someone, and you knew right away she was gonna be important to you? Not just because of her looks, but that X factor? Hitch: How'd you meet her? Vance: Actually, I was in a shop buying pajamas for my mom- Hitch: And by that, of course, you mean you were buying lingerie for another woman. Vance: Yes. You can't help where you meet somebody. And the lingerie is for a woman I'm no longer seeing... But anyway, the girl I met, the one I was talking about... She's so sweet, funny, Southern. She gives me her number... Now she won't return my phone calls. I don't know what it is about her. I just can't get her out of my mind. You know? Food has lost its taste. Colors, they seem dull. Things that used to matter... I don't know, they just no longer do. I think things aren't gonna snap back unless I... Unless I bang her. Hitch: ...Excuse me? Vance: You know, bang her. Clear my head. Get in, get off, get out. Hitch: ...I think you may have misu

Hitch (film), CC BY-SA 4.0