She's Having a Baby

If you're still in love with her, how come you're here with me?

She's Having a Baby, CC BY-SA 4.0

Davis: You're the only one I ever loved. Kristy: No, Davis. You're the only one you ever loved.

She's Having a Baby, CC BY-SA 4.0

Jake: [getting ready for bed] Oh, come on. Am I supposed to make my best friend stay in a hotel? Kristy: Best friend, my ass. You haven't seen him in two years and in that time he has turned into a complete jerk. Jake: Excuse me? Kristy: You heard me and his girlfriend is nauseating. Jake: Nauseating? Kristy: [shouting] Her mother died last night, but she didn't want to come! She models nude in videos! Jake: She wasn't nude though. She was wearing one of those G-things. Kristy: It probably wasn't a video. Jake: Well, m-maybe her mother wasn't a very nice person. Kristy: I don't care if she was or if she wasn't! That bitch has no feelings! And make me sick she's sleeping in our house! I'll have to burn the sheets! Jake: What if it was one of your friends, huh? What if the shoe was on the other foot? Kristy: I'd go barefoot! Jake: [sits on the bed] Oh, jeez. Don't give me that righteous pose. Kristy: Move! Move! Jake: So what do you want me to do? Tell me, tell me, tell me. You want me t

She's Having a Baby, CC BY-SA 4.0

Howard: How do you feel about slave wages? Jefferson: Slave wages are okay. Russ: How do you feel about alcoholics? Jefferson: Um, I like alcoholics?

She's Having a Baby, CC BY-SA 4.0

Jake: Wh... why do you... why do you think I'm nervous? Fantasy Girl: Because you don't know what you want.

She's Having a Baby, CC BY-SA 4.0

Grandmother: [before Jake and Kristy's wedding] He's too young and he's too immature. She's a golddigger. Grandfather: There's little or no gold to be dug. He's plenty old and people don't mature anymore. They stay jackasses all their lives.

She's Having a Baby, CC BY-SA 4.0