Horrible Bosses

Bobby Pellit: Hospital bills, Larry Murinsky. Why the fuck are we paying his hospital bills? He doesn't even work here anymore. Kurt Buckman: Well he doesn't work here anymore because he had a horrible accident in our warehouse. All right? The guy burned off half his face. Bobby Pellit: Exactly. I don't want my money, uh, going to support monsters. Kurt Buckman: He's not a monster! He's a great guy who worked for us for many, many years. Bobby Pellit: [makes a cutting off gesture] Cut him off. Second... Dale Arbus: [at Kurt's house, he is telling Nick and Kurt his plan to meet up to set up the murderous plot] I don't have it all figured out. I got some of it figured out. Kurt Buckman: Okay. Dale Arbus: So I'm gonna go home and start. Kurt Buckman: Okay. All right? I'm gonna go home, too. Nick Hendricks: Yeah. You are. This is your house here. Kurt Buckman: [while Nick is taking a sip of beer] Oh. I couldn't tell that by the way you were going in and out of my fridge, drinking my fuckin

Horrible Bosses, CC BY-SA 4.0

Nick: [narrating] The only hitch? I work for this guy, David Harken... who right now is giving me some old shit for killing two people. He's a total fucking asshole. Harken: Life is a marathon and you cannot win a marathon without putting a few band-aids on your nipple. Harken: If that's the case, I'm gonna have to fire Mat, our longtime security coordinator. Nick: Ok, I may have been two minutes late. Harken: I'm a green belt, motherfucker... Nick: What? Harken: Yeah. All right? Nick: Okay. Harken: Now, I know you've been working your tail off for that promotion. Harken: But I'm not sure I can even consider... Harken: ...making you the senior vice president of sales ... if I can't trust you. Nick: You can trust me. Harken: Yeah, now you sound like my wife. “You can trust me. Just trust me, honey. Nothing’s happening behind your back. Trust me, trust me, trust me.” Meanwhile, she’s fucking every guy in the neighborhood.

Horrible Bosses, CC BY-SA 4.0

Kohead: I have no idea why he thought you were so fucking special. Kohead: But that doesn't matter now, cause he's in the ground, and I'm your boss, and you know -there's gonna be some changes around here. Nick: - Can't wait to hear them. [w/ big smile] Kohead: - First things first. EnviroTech Waste Management. Kohead: It's costing us a lot of money. [picking his ear w/ hand]

Horrible Bosses, CC BY-SA 4.0

Harken: It's like you don't care about this company at all. Kohead: No fucking shit I don't care about this company. This is just an ATM to me. You think when I was a kid I dreamed of running a fucking chemical company? No. I dreamed of being on a beach with a model serving me tropical drinks. That's what I dreamed of. and that's what's gonna happen...

Horrible Bosses, CC BY-SA 4.0

Nick: Why would I stay after being treated like this? Harken: Well, because I'd make sure that nobody in the industry would ever hire you again. Nick: Bullshit. Harken: No, because they're gonna want my letter of recommendation, right? So I'm perfectly willing to write that you are an insubordinate, dishonest drunk. Nick: You can't do that. That's not true. Harken: Let me tell you something, you stupid little runt. I own you. You're my bitch. Don't walk around thinking you have free will because you don't. I can crush you any time I want. So settle in because you are here for the long haul.

Horrible Bosses, CC BY-SA 4.0