Quotes

Bongo

Dinah Shore as the Narrator: This is the story of three bears. Jiminy Cricket: Yeah, I know. The mama bear, the papa bear, and the itsy-bitsy baby bear. The Narrator: Oh, but it's not the story you expect.

Bongo

[talking about Bongo the circus bear] He was a circus bear. He was born in the circus, grew up in the circus, in fact, Bongo was the star of the circus. Why, he could juggle and dance while on a trapeze; walk a tightrope with the greatest of ease. In jujitsu, he was beyond compare; once threw a bull at the county fair; super at wrestling and lifting weights; outboxed the champs of seventeen states. They all packed in from near and far to see this death-defying star. With mouths wide open, they watched his ascent as he daringly climbed to the top of the tent. Then for a grand climax, he would gracefully plunge three hundred feet into a wet sponge.

Bongo

Naturally, you'd think he'd be handled with kid gloves, treated like a king, and pampered like a baby. But, no! He was tossed around like an old shoe. Bongo, the bear in the gilded cage.

Mickey and the Beanstalk

Ophelia: Well, good night, Luana. Luana Patten: Good night, Ophelia. Ophelia: Bonne nuit, Mortimer. Mortimer Snerd: Uh...ma'am? Ophelia: Bonne nuit. Mortimer Snerd: Oh, yes, ma'am. Yeah, yeah. Bunny. Uh bunny, bunny wee, bunny wee. Bun-Uh...uh, I don't know no bunny wee.

Mickey and the Beanstalk

Edgar Bergen: Now, Luana, how would you like another piece of cake or some ice cream? Luana Patten: No, thank you. I'm full up. Edgar Bergen: Some candy? Charlie McCarthy: Care for a cigar? Luana Patten: Me? Edgar Bergen: How about you, Mortimer? Mortimer Snerd: Uh...I don't smoke. Edgar Bergen: I don't mean that.

Mickey and the Beanstalk

Edgar Bergen: Once upon a time, long long ago... Charlie McCarthy: Funny, nothing ever happens nowadays. Edgar Bergen: There was a place called Happy Valley. Now, it was called Happy Valley because everyone who lived there was happy. Charlie McCarthy: No! Well, there's a hunk of logic for you. Edgar Bergen: [asks Mortimer a question] Are you listening, Mortimer? Mortimer Snerd: Uh, Happy Valley? Edgar Bergen: That's right, yes. Now just try and imagine it. Can't you just close your eyes and see it? Mortimer Snerd: Well, I can't see very good with my eyes closed. My eyelids get in the way. Edgar Bergen: You create a picture in your mind's eye. Charlie McCarthy: [to Luana] That's not easy for him. His mind gets in the way. [laughs] Edgar Bergen: Now try and paint a mental picture. Mortimer Snerd: Yeah. I painted a barn once, I did. Edgar Bergen: Well, that's very interesting. Mortimer Snerd: Yeah. It was... it was a red barn. It was. Yeah. Edgar Bergen: [moves his hand to forget the barn

Mickey and the Beanstalk

Edgar Bergen: Yes, it was one of nature's garden spots, nestled among the green, rolling hills. Can't you see the lovely brook as it flows through the valley? Mortimer Snerd: Mmm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Edgar Bergen: The winding roads, lined with stately trees. Mortimer Snerd: Trees. Yeah. Edgar Bergen: Lush fields and prosperous farms dot the landscape. Mortimer Snerd: Landscape. Yeah. Edgar Bergen: And high on a hilltop overlooking the valley, shining like a Jewel, stands... Mortimer Snerd: [imagines a red barn] My red barn. Edgar Bergen: [removes the red barn] It was something much nicer. [imagines a castle] It was a majestic castle! Luana Patten: Oh, that's pretty. Edgar Bergen: And something very precious is kept within these castle walls. Luana Patten: What is it? Edgar Bergen: It's a magic, singing harp. Listen. Golden Harp: [singing] My, what a happy day. What a sunny sky, Kind of makes you sigh in a happy way. What a very merry day, All the world is gay. When your cares are light,

Mickey and the Beanstalk

Edgar Bergen: [as the beanstalk climbs into the stratosphere] And all through the night, it grew onward and upward. Charlie McCarthy: That thing is a menace to aviation.

Mickey and the Beanstalk

Mortimer Snerd: [referring to giant footprints] Oh, gosh! Who made them? Charlie McCarthy: Well, it wasn't Cinderella.

Mickey and the Beanstalk

Mickey Mouse: How do you get here? Golden Harp: I was kidnapped by that wicked giant! Mickey Mouse: Oh. [double-take] A giant?! Mortimer Snerd: A giant?! Luana Patten: A giant?! Jiminy Cricket: A giant?! Edgar Bergen: Bigger than forty men! Mortimer Snerd: Oh, no! Edgar Bergen: An ogre who had the power to turn himself into anything, man or beast! Jiminy Cricket: That calls for a drink. [Sips from the cocktail on the table and hiccups]

Mickey and the Beanstalk

Luana Patten: But why did the giant want to steal the harp? Edgar Bergen: Because he was cruel and selfish. He didn't care what happened to the valley. He just wanted someone to sing him to sleep. Mortimer Snerd: Well, why didn't he turn on the radio? Edgar Bergen: Well, they didn't have radios in those days. Charlie McCarthy: Yeah. That's why they called it Happy Valley.

Mickey and the Beanstalk

Charlie McCarthy: Hey, giant! You're getting warm! Mortimer Snerd: Well, don't tell him! Charlie McCarthy: Behind the jar, stupid! Luana Patten: Charlie!

Mickey and the Beanstalk

Willie the Giant: Feedee! [slices some cheese, taking Mickey but narrowly avoiding Goofy] Fidee! [takes a chicken leg] Fodee! [takes some onions, narrowly missing Donald] Fum! [pours pepper on his sandwich. Mickey sneezes the contents on his face] Mickey Mouse: Gesundheit! [laughs]

Mickey and the Beanstalk

Willie the Giant: [pointing at one of the lines on his hand] But what's this here? What is it? What is it? Mickey Mouse: Uh-oh, I can't believe it! Willie the Giant: Is it bad? Mickey Mouse: Why, it says here that you can change yourself into anything! Willie the Giant: Sure, sure! You wanna see me? I can change myself into the darndest things! Go on, gimme somethin'. Anything! Mickey Mouse: Anything? Willie the Giant: Anything! Edgar Bergen: See? Mickey never misses a trick. He's got a good idea. Mickey Mouse: Well, uh. Can you change into a fly? Willie the Giant: A cute, teeny-weeny, itsy-bitsy housefly? Mickey Mouse: That's it! A housefly! Willie the Giant: Aww, you don't want a fly! How about a bunny with long, pink ears? Mickey Mouse: Huh! Well, of course, if you can't do a fly, why, uh... Willie the Giant: All right. A fly. [suddenly loudly] WHY?! Mickey Mouse: Well, uh...because. Willie the Giant: Okay. A teeny-weeny fly... [cackles, then smiles] with pink wings! Now for the mag

Mickey and the Beanstalk

Charlie McCarthy: Anybody wanna buy a tall, thin mouse? Edgar Bergen: No, thank you. Uh, I mean, no.

Mickey and the Beanstalk

Donald Duck: He made it! Goofy: He did? [looks through keyhole] Here he comes with the key! Donald Duck: [looking through keyhole] Let me have it, Mickey!

Mickey and the Beanstalk

Come back here! COME BACK HERE!

Mickey and the Beanstalk

Luana Patten: You're a wonderful storyteller, Mr. Bergen. Isn't he, Charlie? Charlie McCarthy: Simply thrilling. You're even better than the old-fashioned sleeping pill. Mortimer Snerd: [sobbing] Edgar Bergen: What's the matter, Mortimer? Mortimer Snerd: Oh, the poor giant got killed, that he did. I don't like them sad endings. Edgar Bergen: Oh, now, you don't understand. Morimer Snerd: W-Willie was a nice giant, he was. He just got too big for his britches. [sobbing] Edgar Bergen: But you don't understand. Mortimer Snerd: [warns Edgar not to touch him] No, don't touch me. I'll be all right. [blows his nose] Oh, excuse me. Edgar Bergen: What I'm trying to explain, Mortimer, is that Willie the Giant didn't actually exist. Mortimer Snerd: No? Edgar Bergen: No. He's a metaphysical phenomenon of your subconscious mind, a phantasmagoria of your mental faculties. Mortimer Snerd: Yeah? Edgar Bergen: In other words, just a figment of your imagination. Mortimer Snerd: No! Edgar Bergen: Yes. So