Quotes

Others

Who wants to chew my gumballs?

Others

Monobrow! Monobrow! King wants a monobrow!

Others

(as Superman) You shot me in the freaking eye! That really hurts! Why would you do that?! That was so unnecessary! You bastard!

Others

(while Lucy is viewing the camera from Mr. Tumnus) The White Bitch doesn't care about black people.

Others

Shit, bitch, I'm always yelling! I'm Samuel god damn Jackson!

Others

Jagshemash! My name-a Borat. You did it! You made moviefilm have happy ending! (the water wheel runs over the orphans) Not!

Others

I hate those fucking kids.

Others

I'm so hot. (yells as she gets crushed by Susan, who was thrown off the plane)

Others

Screw Gnarnia!

Others

(trying to read) The... keeds... have... esca-puh-duh.

Dialogue

Ashton Kutcher look-a-like: Yes! (jumps in with camera crew) Yes! You just got Punk'd! Yes! Yes! Yeah, he did it! He did it! C'mere, say it to the camera! Say it to the camera, come on, say it right there! (Edward stutters) Say it! Edward: I-I just--I just got Punk'd. Ashton Kutcher look-alike: Ah! Schwow! Ashton Kutcher look-alike: (making exaggerated moves mocking Ashton Kutcher's "Punk'd" skits) Yeah! We just Punk'd Edward! Schwow! Schwow! Yeah! That was awesome! Yeah! Yes! This thing, up here, it's all me, baby! The trucker hat! That's awesome! I did it! You love it! You'll take it! Punk'd him! Ashton Kutcher look-alike: *(gibbering excitedly still over the joke) Oh, my gosh, that was really funny! Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! (continues gibbering) Edward: (yelling in fury) Dude, you are so annoying! (Punches Ashton, knocking him down and shutting him up) Ashton Kutcher look-alike: (gets up after a few seconds, resuming his gibberish and his crazy movements) But, oh, my gosh! That was

Dialogue

White Bitch: Behold, my White Castle. (she points to a White Castle restaurant across from them) Edward: White Castle? I think I've been there before.

Dialogue

Willy: Children, do you wanna know what makes all my candy taste so special? Edward: Uh-huh. Willy: It's a special secret ingredient. It's real human parts! There's gonna be a little itty-bitty piece of each and every one of you inside of the yummy yum candy. Literally!

Dialogue

Susan: Let us out, freak! Lucy: Let us out, freak. Willy: No, no, no. I can't do that. Susan: Yes, you can. Lucy: Yes, you can. Willy: You're mine now.

Dialogue

Peter: (about the frozen White Bitch) The new Gnarnia will be a democracy, complete with due process. She shall be given a fair trial, judged by a jury of her peers.(Jack Swallows comes rolling by on the wooden wheel and runs over the White Bitch) Captain Jack Swallows: Sorry, Bitch. Peter: Right. Oh, screw her anyway.

Dialogue

Peter: We may not have the numbers on our side or the weapons she possesses, but we have something far more powerful. Lucy: Perky breasts? Peter: The strength of our family! Edward: I'd follow you anywhere, brother.

Dialogue

Samuel L. Jackson look-alike: Enough is enough! I have had it with these god damn snakes on this god damn plane! Susan: So have I! Samuel L. Jackson look-alike: Enough is enough! I have had it with these god damn snakes on this god damn plane! Susan: Right! Samuel L. Jackson look-alike: I have had it with these god damn snakes on this god damn plane! Susan: Why do you keep saying that?! Samuel L. Jackson look-alike: 'Cause Internet bloggers love when I say, "I have had it with these god damn snakes on this god damn plane!"

Dialogue

"Harry Potter": Welcome! My name is Harry Potter! Susan: Aren't you a little old to still be a student here? "Harry Potter": Nonsense. I am but 14. (he looks at least 30) As are my two best friends, Ron and Hermione!

Dialogue

Cyclops: He's unleashing his powers! Storm: He's going to spread angel wings! Mystique: More like chicken wings! Magneto: Break it up. Break it up. You all know Peter is too much of a pussy to stand up for himself.

Dialogue

Peter: (to Mystique) Would you like to come to the homecoming dance with me? Mystique: As if!

Dialogue

May I present the kings and queens of Gnarnia: Peter, the Heroic; Susan, the Just; Edward, the Loyal; and Lucy, the Dumb-shit! All hail!

Dialogue

(in Latin) Habeas corpus. E pluribus unum. (English subtitles) I'm gonna drop you like K-Fed!

Dialogue

(in Latin) In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti! (English subtitles) I'm gonna go Jackie Chan on your ass!

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(in Latin) Persona non grata. Magna cum laude. (English subtitles) Fo-sheezy, White Beezy.

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(in Pig Latin) Urts-hay oh-say ood-gay! (English subtitles) Beat me like Bobby beats Whitney!

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(in Latin) Et tu, Brute? (English subtitles) I'm Rick James, bitch!

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Edward: Captain Morgan! I love your rum. Captain Jack Swallows: No. Captain Jack Swallows at your service. Edward: Jack Swallows? That's kind of gay, dude.

Dialogue

Have your Dr. Phil moment later. Now, get out of here!

Dialogue

Edward: I even got a tattoo with your name on it! (takes off his shirt, exposing what appears to be 50 Cent's tattoo) White Bitch: That looks more like 50 Cent's tattoo, you idiot! Edward: Shit! They did the wrong one!

Dialogue

Aslo: Where're you going, doll-face? I just took my Cialis! Aslo's girl: Screw you, Aslo!

Dialogue

"Hermione": Hope you chicks are on the pill. Harry likes to get wasted, then show off his "sorcerer's stones". (farts) Susan: They are definitely too old to still be doing this shit!

Dialogue

(takes off his robe) Nacho-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o... cheese flavored Doritos are delicious!

Dialogue

White Bitch: This crystal will finally put an end to the resistance. I will start a series of earthquakes that will collapse all of Gnarnia and grow a new continent where only I and my followers will live. Bink: Yo, Bitch, that's pretty much the plot of Superman Returns. White Bitch: Pretty much, yeah.

Dialogue

Lucy: I don't get it. Apostle in "The Last Supper": You're all related! Brothers and sisters! You're a family, for Christ's sake! (Jesus rolls his eyes) Sorry.

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Nice hair, Rogue. (Rogue touches her, causing her to fall to the ground, seemingly dead)

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Edward: Because we're four kids nobody would ever miss, we'll be stuck here until we die. Peter: Shut up, Edward, You're scaring her. Edward: Don't tell me what to do! You're not my father!

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Lucy: Willy told me he wanted his knob polished. Susan: Dumb-ass.

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Susan: I never had anyone. I raised myself. Lucy: That's why you have such a tough exterior.

Dialogue

(screams)