Meet Dave

Gina: Hi, are you all right? Because you just ran off! Captain: Contact, everyone! Our first verbal encounter! [into microphone] Thank you for your concern. Dave: [speaks with extremely high pitch; bottles explode in background] Thank you for your concern. Captain: It's way too high! More bass! Dave: [speaks in extremely low pitch] Thank you for your concern. Captain: Level the frequency! Dave: [speaking perfectly] I'm all better now. Josh: [to Gina] How hard did you hit this guy?

Meet Dave, CC BY-SA 4.0

Gina: [Dave is looking at a picture of Gina's late husband] Captain? Dave: Yes? Gina: That's my husband. He was a captain with the Navy. Dave: I am a captain. Gina: Really? A captain of what? Dave: I am a captain of crunch.

Meet Dave, CC BY-SA 4.0

Police Sergeant: Knox, Dooley. Got a report on some kind of fireball or something like that over on Liberty Island? Check it out. Dooley: A fireball? Ho, we'll get right on it. Knox: Sarge, can't you get somebody else to handle it? Come on, we just pulled an all-nighter. Police Sergeant: [sarcastically] Aw. I'm so sorry, Mr. Knox. Tell you what, lie down in my office and I'll come by with your blankie and you can get yourself a nice nap.

Meet Dave, CC BY-SA 4.0

Dooley: Come on, this is going to be great. A fireball? How often do we get a call like that? Knox: Do me a favor, okay? Act like a cop and stop caring.

Meet Dave, CC BY-SA 4.0

Captain: I am Dave Ming Chang. Cultural Officer #3: I am Dave Ming Chang. Various crew members: I am Dave Ming Chang. Security Officer #4: And I am Johnny Dazzles! And I am fabulous! Security Officer #4: What? Not everyone has to be Dave Ming Chang.

Meet Dave, CC BY-SA 4.0