Battlefield Earth

Terl: [holding Jonnie] Who is responsible for allowing this man-animal to run around unsupervised? Processing Clerk: The man-animal shot the wrangler, sir. Terl: I'm a little pressed for time. Why don't you save the going-away jokes for later? Clerk: No joke, sir. I swear. The man-animal somehow got hold of his gun. Terl: Really? Show me. [switches the clerk's gun to "kill" and hands it to Jonnie] Reach for the gun. Clerk: Sir, I might get shot. Terl: Sure, you might, and I might suddenly grow a third arm! Clerk: Sir, I swear it shot the wrangler! Terl: Any report filed still has my name on it, and you are out of your skull-bone if you think I am going to write on a report, "shot by man-animal," as the cause of death unless I see it! Clerk: If I obey your command I may get killed. Terl: And if you don't, it's a certainty that you will be killed. Reach for the gun. [The clerk reaches for the gun; Jonnie shoots him.] Well now, I'll be damned. [laughs]

Battlefield Earth, CC BY-SA 4.0

Terl: It is a pleasure to see you, Your Excellency, and I would be honored to expedite your clearance through security. Zete: Please, call me Zete. Does all of Earth look like this? Terl: Oh, I'm afraid so, sir. Zete: Pathetic. All the green and the blue sky. They told me this planet was ugly, but this has got to be one of the ugliest crap holes in the entire universe. Terl: I couldn't agree with you more. Zete: I hate these puny undersized planets. The gravity is so ... different. Terl: Well, one does get used to it. Zete: And the human animals, grossly undersized. Ker: They don't make very good eating, Your Excellency.

Battlefield Earth, CC BY-SA 4.0

Zete: [Looking at an overhead photo of a car] What is this species? Terl: Well, according to the Clinko historians, the species is called "dog." Zete: Dog? Terl: Yes. Zete: Obviously the superior race, having the man-animal chauffeur it around.

Battlefield Earth, CC BY-SA 4.0

Zete: Home Office is well aware of your academic achievements and obvious talents. That's why we've decided not to keep you here for another five cycles. Ker: It's a joke! Terl: Oh, thank you sir. I don't know if I could have kept my sanity to be here another five cycles! Zete: We've decided to keep you here another fifty cycles, with endless options for renewal! [laughs maniacally] Those options, of course, being at Home Office's discretion, not yours. The senator has a lot of friends!

Battlefield Earth, CC BY-SA 4.0

Terl: Ker, I'd like you to meet Chirk. Terl: She's, um ... she's, um ... Chirk: His soon-to-be newly acquired secretary. Terl: Yes. Ker: [Eagerly] Really? Terl: [Quietly, to Ker] She's stupid enough not to be a menace, good-looking enough to be decorative; she gets drunk with economical speed ... and has other advantages. Ker: Ooh. I can see that.

Battlefield Earth, CC BY-SA 4.0

Chrissy: What if he's not dead? Parson Staffer: Hope is an admirable quality, but foolish isn't.

Battlefield Earth, CC BY-SA 4.0