The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

Frodo: [finds a sketch of a younger Bilbo] What's this? Old Bilbo: That is private. Keep your sticky paws off. [Frodo start to look at the book, Bilbo hides the text] It's not ready yet. Frodo: Not ready for what? Old Bilbo: Reading. [notices a bundle of envelopes] What on earth are these? Frodo: Replies to the party invitations. Old Bilbo: [excited] Good gracious. Is it today? Frodo: They all said they are coming. Except for the Sackville-Bagginses, who demand that you ask them in person. Old Bilbo: Really... Over my dead body. Frodo: They'd probably find that quite agreeable. They seem to think you have tunnels overflowing with gold. Old Bilbo: It was one small chest; hardly overflowing. [whispers] And it still smells of troll! [hides some gold cups] Frodo: [notices Bilbo's behavior] What on earth are you doing? Old Bilbo: Taking precautions! You know, I caught her making off with the silverware once. Frodo: Who? Old Bilbo: Lobelia Sackville-Baggins. She had all my spoons stuffed in

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, CC BY-SA 4.0

Bilbo: Good morning. Gandalf: What do you mean? Do you mean to wish me a good morning, or do you mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not? Or perhaps you mean to say that you feel good this particular morning? Or are you simply stating that it is a morning to be good on? Bilbo: All of them at once, I suppose. [long pause] Can I help you? Gandalf: That remains to be seen. I'm looking for someone to share in an adventure. Bilbo: [stares at Gandalf] An adventure? Well, I don't imagine anyone west of Bree would have much interest in adventures. Nasty, disturbing, uncomfortable things. Make you late for dinner! [when Gandalf still doesn't leave, Bilbo awkwardly goes to his mail, pretending to pay no attention to him. Finally, he clears his throat] Good morning! [heads for his front door] Gandalf: To think that I should have lived to be "good morninged" by Belladonna Took's son as if I were selling buttons at the door! Bilbo: [stops] Beg your pardon? Gandalf: You've changed. A

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, CC BY-SA 4.0

Dwalin: [bows] Dwalin, at your service. Bilbo: Uh, Bilbo...Baggins. At yours. [Dwalin walks in] Do we know each other? Dwalin: No. Which way, laddie? Is it down here? Bilbo: Is what down where? Dwalin: Supper. He said there'd be food and lots of it. Bilbo: He said? Who said? Dwalin: Very good, this. Any more? Bilbo: What? Oh, uh, yes, yes. [finds a jar of seed-cakes] Help yourself. [pauses as Dwalin eats away] It's just that, um, I wasn't expecting company. Dwalin: That'll be the door. Balin: [smiles and bows] Balin, At your service. Bilbo: [blankly] Good evening. Balin: Yes, it is. Though I think it might rain later. Am I late? Bilbo: Late for what? Balin: [catches Dwalin trying to get more scones out of another jar] OH! Evening, brother! Dwalin: [sets down the jar and smiles] Ho ho, by my beard! You are shorter and wider than last we met. Balin: Wider, not shorter. Sharp enough for both of us. Bilbo: Excuse me? Sorry, I hate to interrupt, but the thing is I'm not entirely sure you're

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, CC BY-SA 4.0

Bilbo: A tad excessive, isn't it? Have you got a cheese knife? Bofur: "Cheese knife?" He eats it by the block.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, CC BY-SA 4.0

Bilbo: [grabbing a doily from Nori] Excuse me, that is a doily, not a dishcloth. Bofur: But it's full of holes! Bilbo: It's supposed to look like that, it's crochet. Bofur: Oh, and a wonderful game it is too, if you've got the balls for it. [laughs] Bilbo: [annoyed, but quietly] Bebother and confusticate these dwarves! Gandalf: My dear Bilbo, what on earth is the matter? Bilbo: What's the matter? I am surrounded by dwarves! What are they doing here? Gandalf: Oh, they're quite a merry gathering, once you get used to them. Bilbo: I don't want to get used to them! The state of my kitchen! There's mud trod into the carpet! They pillaged the pantry. I'm not even gonna tell you what they've done in the bathroom. They've all but destroyed the plumbing! I don't understand what they're doing in my house. Ori: [walks up] 'Scuse me. I'm sorry to interrupt, but what should I do with my plate? Fíli: Here you go, Ori, give it to me. Bilbo: [mortified] Excuse me! That's my mother's West Farthing pott

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, CC BY-SA 4.0

Balin: It's just the usual; summary of out-of-pocket expenses, time required, remuneration, funeral arrangements, so forth. Bilbo: "Funeral arrangements"? [reads contract] Oh... Thorin: [whispering to Gandalf] I cannot guarantee his safety. Gandalf: Understood. Thorin: Nor will I be responsible for his fate. Gandalf: [hesitates] Agreed. Bilbo: Uh, "Terms: cash on delivery, up to but not exceeding one fourteenth total profit, if any." Seems fair...Uh, "Present Company shall not be liable for injuries inflicted by, or sustained as a consequence thereof, including, but not limited to...la-ce-ra-tions..." "Evisceration"?..."Incineration"? Bofur: Oh, aye. He'll melt the flesh off your bones in the blink of an eye. Balin: You all right, laddie? Bilbo: Huh? Yeah, I'm okay. [trying to take it in] Feeling a bit faint. Bofur: [not noticing] Think "furnace with wings." Bilbo: Yeah, I...I...I need air. Bofur: Flash of light, searing pain, then poof! You're nothing more than a pile of ash. Bilbo: .

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, CC BY-SA 4.0