Top Gear, series 7

Jeremy: Tonight: How reliable is your car? How will this new British supercar fare on our track? And the new Baby Aston: how does it perform as an ark? Jeremy: "Welcome To Greenpeace!" (After a video montage introducing the 7th series) Richard: Some say his skin has the texture of a dolphin's, and that where ever you are in the world, if you tune your radio to 88.4, you can actually hear his thoughts... all we know is, he's called the Stig. Jeremy: Right, there's a new motoring website that's come out. It's for homosexuals... Jeremy: It's a motoring site for homosexuals. You know what they called it? Jeremy: No, not Top Queer... Jeremy: ...though that's very good. Richard: That's very good. Jeremy: That's better than what they've come up with. Richard: It is actually better. Jeremy: They've actually called it... "Top Gayer." Jeremy: I like Top Queer more! Richard: Yeah. We'll set up a rival one. Jeremy: The best thing about it, okay? 'Cause I went in and checked this one out, and... Ri

Top Gear (series 7), CC BY-SA 4.0

Jeremy: Tonight: the best toys in the whole world; a car made on Memory Lane; and Audi's new RS4 races a thin man up a thick cliff. Jeremy: Some say that he has no understanding of clouds, and that his earwax tastes like Turkish delight... all we know is, he's called the Stig. Jeremy: And he did it in 1:26.7, so it goes... Jeremy: ...there. In front of a Corvette. James: Interesting that you've made a space actually, because I reckon if you sent Porsche 911 and a Boxster around as well, the 911 would've gone about there [points randomly above the Cayman's time], and the Boxster - I dunno - about there [points about the same distance below the Cayman's time]. Jeremy: Yep, you're exactly right, and I'm just looking at this [points to the Cayman's time], 1:26, that's what it's worth. Jeremy: It's called the Cayman and I know what you're thinking, you're thinking, "that's not a new car, it's just a Boxster with a roof." You have got a point, it's got the same controls as the Boxster. They

Top Gear (series 7), CC BY-SA 4.0

Jeremy: Tonight: the chav-tastic new Ford Focus. The Transport Minister is in our Reasonably-Priced Car. And Richard Hammond and I have a fight. Jeremy: Some say that his politics are terrifying, and that he once punched a horse to the ground... all we know is, he's called the Stig. Jeremy: I have an announcement to make. Top Gear, this... pokey motor show on BBC2, this week won—I've got it here—in New York, an Emmy! We've won an Emmy! Check it out!"<br> Richard: Wow! Can I touch it? Jeremy: What this is for, okay, is for the best non-scripted entertainment show that wasn't made in America. That's us! Richard: Why didn't you go and pick up the award from the ceremony? Jeremy: Well, because I was writing the script for this week's show. Richard: Thing is though, when the Office, you remember that sitcom series?... won some Golden... Globes recently, the whole of the BBC ground to a halt while everyone said congratulations and... they were showered with, like, gifts, and gold and diamond

Top Gear (series 7), CC BY-SA 4.0

Jeremy: Tonight: Which is faster, a Renault or a bicycle? Ellen MacArthur sets sail round our track; And how much supercar do you get for 10,000 pounds? Jeremy: Some say that his tears are adhesive, and that if he caught fire, he'd burn for a thousand days... all we know is, he's called the Stig. Jeremy: There's no point going "I've bought my shirt at 'George' " [the ASDA-Walmart in-house clothing brand]; it's from ASDA! You've bought a 'George' car! Jeremy: James had bought an AA truck! [Jeremy and Richard began to dissolve into laughter, as James hops off from the truck] James, we told you to buy a mid-engined, Italian supercar, not a truck. Richard: Your Seventies supercar mission for today is to drive from Bristol to "Spearmint Rhino", in Slough. Jeremy: That's a lap-dancing club. Richard: [apparently puzzled] Is it? Jeremy: [mocks his attempt to appear innocent] Oh, you don't know...?! James: [to a pedestrian] Eh? No it's not a kit car, it's a Lamborghini... Philistine! James: The

Top Gear (series 7), CC BY-SA 4.0

Jeremy: Tonight: We drive the new Bugatti in Italy; we drive the new Bugatti in Switzerland and France; and we drive the new Bugatti in London. Jeremy: [opening the door of the Marcos TSO] What's this? Richard: Erm... Jeremy: [showing what he found] It's a tooth-whitening kit. Richard: It's a plant! It's a plant! Jeremy: It was just a theory until a moment ago... Richard: Some say he can swim seven lengths under water, and he has webbed buttocks... all we know is, he's called the Stig. Richard: Now, I'm dying to know the verdict, but first, something more important... your hat! What were you thinking?! You were like the dog car in Dumb and Dumber [makes a face referring to the hat James was wearing in the 2WD Vs. AWD 911 challenge] James: [leans toward Hammond] Listen! That hat is haute couture in rallying circles. Jeremy: A cow does more global warming than a Range Rover. Jeremy: He was the Formula 1 world champion and the American Indy car champion at the same time, and he was also B

Top Gear (series 7), CC BY-SA 4.0

Jeremy: Tonight: Can a Mazda go faster than a dog? Can a frog go faster than a Peugeot? And can I go faster than... myself? Jeremy: Some say that his heart is in upside down, and that his teeth glow in the dark... all we know is, he's called the Stig. Richard: A dog oversteers, which is more fun... Jeremy: ...than an understeering hyena. Richard: So, you want a Mazda MX-5 because it's rear wheel drive. Jeremy: OK, now it's time to do the ugliest car of the year and the nominations are: the Ssangyong Kyron... Richard: Uugghh... Jeremy: ...the Ssangyong Rodius... Jeremy: ...and look at this one, the Ssangyong Musso! Jeremy: That thing really is a Moose, isn't it? So which one has won it? It's the BMW 3 Series! James: That is the sound your spine would make if you could actually hear it tingle. Jeremy: "If it's not a democracy, it's a dictatorship. And I'm dictating that the Aston Martin V8 Vantage is the winner!" (the 2005 TG Awards) Jeremy: The next award is for the Gas Guzzler of the y

Top Gear (series 7), CC BY-SA 4.0