John Tucker Must Die

Kate: I don't get it. I mean, these girls all seem so confident and cool. How do they not know that John's cheating on all of them? Crying Waitress: He's a total operator. He goes out with girls from different cliques so that they never actually talk to each other. [chuckles] And then he tells them that his father won't let him date during basketball season so they'll have to keep it a secret. Kate: How'd you learn all this stuff? Crying Waitress: [sobbing] I don't know, just a guess. [runs away crying]

John Tucker Must Die, CC BY-SA 4.0

Heather: So I talked to John. He was sweet. He felt bad for you. He said that you were jealous because we share something special. Something that we don't have to label because... Beth: [interrupting] Because it's our unspoken bond and I just love how secure you are? Carrie: And it hurts me to question it, because... Heather, Beth, Carrie: ... YOU'RE THE ONLY GIRL FOR ME? Heather: Damn! He said the same thing to all of us! Beth: Figures. He makes up with us and he hooks up with us... Carrie: [interrupts, whispers] You guys hooked up? Beth: John and I share something special. Carrie: Oh what, that he's been in both your pants? Beth: We share a vegan/nonviolent outlook on life. Heather: [under her breath, coughs] Hippie slut. Beth: [sarcastic] Oh nice, Heather. It's not like everyone doesn't know that little Miss Cheerleader brings it on. Carrie: What, you too? Heather: John and I belong together. He is the team captain and I am the head cheerleader. Beth: Oh, I'm sorry, what kind of che

John Tucker Must Die, CC BY-SA 4.0

Heather: I want to bring down you know who. Beth: Normally, I'm opposed to the slaughter of animals, but in John Tucker's case, I'll make an exception. Kate: I don't even know him. Beth: So, you don't even know anyone. You're like the Swiss, you're neutered. Carrie: Um, it's neutral. Kate, if the three of us tried this alone, we would kill each other. You brought us here. You showed us that we have something in common. Heather: Exactly. We all want to kill John Tucker. Kate: Wow. Okay.

John Tucker Must Die, CC BY-SA 4.0

Kate: DAMMIT! Carrie: It's not that hard, uhm... when he speaks to you count to three in your head before you answer him. Heather: Don't show any interest. Don't even look at him too much. Carrie: Yeah yeah. You got it? Carrie: I said you got it? Kate: I was counting to three! Beth: Not that slowly! We don't want him to think you're retarded!

John Tucker Must Die, CC BY-SA 4.0

Lori: [walks in] What are you girls doing? Carrie: Destroying a man. Lori: Who do I make my check out to? [walks out] Beth: Your mom is SO HOT!

John Tucker Must Die, CC BY-SA 4.0

Kate: [about Scott's previous lab partner] Oh, well before I say yes, how exactly did he get burned? Scott: Uh, well, that is open to interpretation... because he will say that it is my fault, but I clearly said..."Dear God, man, you're on fire. Run for your life." Kate: [sarcastically] A clear warning. Scott: Yeah.

John Tucker Must Die, CC BY-SA 4.0