The Wild

Samson: So there I was, face to face with the biggest, meanest leopard on this side of the Serengeti, and... Ryan: You roared so loud, his spots flew clean off. Dad, I've heard this like a billion times. Samson: Uh, do you know the one where I made the laughing hyenas... Ryan: Cry? Yep. Samson: The croc attack? Ryan: Dad. Samson: Okay, think. Ryan: Yeah, you do that. Samson: All right, Mr. Smart Guy. Here's one I know you haven't heard. It all started in the little place I like to call... The Wild. Ryan: So, what did you do next? Samson: What did I do? Ryan: Yeah. Samson: That's when I gave them the roar. Ryan: That's it? Samson: Hold on a sec. I only thought it was over. But they had the secret weapon. He was the largest wildebeest I've ever seen. He was 14 feet tall! Ryan: Fourteen? Samson: I meant 1,401 feet tall! Ryan: Cool. Samson: And he had two... No, four of the largest horns I'd ever seen. This breath was red hot! I mean, green. And he hated the environment. To pull this off,

The Wild (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Ryan: [nervously] I told you I'd come to the game. [chuckles] Samson: [enraged] You think this is funny? You just endangered everyone in the zoo! Ryan: I'm sorry. Samson: For what? Chasing the Gazelles or costing us the game? All you do is sit up in your tree and sulk! Ryan: If you would just… Samson: I mean, what is it? What's the problem? Is all of this because you can't roar? Samson: Ryan, I didn't mean that. Ryan: You know what I'm doing when I'm sulking up in my tree? I'm thinking how great it would be if Samson the Wild wasn't my father. Samson: Huh? Ryan, I… I didn't… Ryan: 'Cause it would make being Ryan the Lame a whole lot easier. [angrily runs off] Samson: Ryan, I'm sorry. Ryan! Please don't… leave. Larry: [shows up] Bye, Ryan! Thanks for coming to the game. And you were worried he wouldn't show up.

The Wild (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Truck driver: OK, they're all loaded up! You don't think I know? Let's get movin'! Ryan: I change my mind! I don't wanna go! Help! Samson: Ryan? Ryan: Help me! Samson: Watch out! Bridget: Sam? Benny: Wait for us! Ryan: Dad! Samson: Ryan! Ryan: Dad! Don't let them take me! No! Samson: Ryan! No! Ryan: Dad! Help me! Samson: Ryan! Samson: Benny, we need that truck followed. Benny: Check. Hamir: Aaahh! I am wanting snake eyes! Come on, baby. Come on, just throw it. Aaahh? Hamir! You are the great loser of all time! What offerings must I make, I wonder? Benny: Hamir! Hamir! Get a grip on yourself! Hamir: Aaahh! Benny! I am needing till Friday before I am paying you back! Benny: No, no. It's Ryan. He's in one of those green boxes and they took him away in a truck! We've got to find him!

The Wild (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Bridget: Benny, please tell me we're not in a dangerous jungle with an 8-inch squirrel protecting us. Benny: Actually, I'm 9 inches. But other than that, yes. Bridget: So that means... Nigel: We are going to die! [screaming]

The Wild (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Larry: Eww! What is this stinky place? Samson: It, uh… Nigel: Oi! Samson: …appears to be a human bathing area. Nigel: You mean humans don't lick themselves clean? Disgusting! Bridget: Oh, they're hopeless. It is hard to believe they are the top of the food chain. Nigel: I can't imagine beginning the day without licking myself.

The Wild (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Samson: Think. What did Benny say? Couple of lefts, couple of rights… [sighs] Bridget, can you see the green lady? Bridget: I'm looking, I'm looking, but I can't see over anything for a change. Nigel: How far are you away? You in a different continent? Ow! Is that you, Larry? Larry: Up here, Nige. Nigel: You're a very furry snake. Samson: Guys, shh. We don't want to draw attention to ourselves.

The Wild (film), CC BY-SA 4.0