Quotes

Dialogue

Raymond: What is this? Evelyn: It's sauteed zucchini. Raymond: It's I-ty food. I don't want no I-ty food. Evelyn: It's not. I got it at the A&P. It's like... squash. Raymond: I know I-ty food when I hear it! It's all them "eenie" foods... zucchini... and linguine... and fettuccine. I want some American food, dammit! I want French Fries! Evelyn: [to the cat] Oh, get off the table, Fellini! Raymond: Hey, that's my cat! His name's Jake, not Fellini! I won't have any "eenie" in this house! [to the cat] Your name's Jake, you understand?

Dialogue

Raymond: [about Dave] He's never tired. He's never miserable. Evelyn: He's young. Raymond: When I was young I was tired and miserable.

Dialogue

Raymond: [about Dave] What are we gonna do about him? Evelyn: I don't know dear. We could always strangle him while he's asleep.

Dialogue

Raymond: What is this? Evelyn: It's sauteed zucchini. Raymond: It's I-tey food. I don't want no I-tey food. Evelyn: It's not. I got it at the A&P. It's like... squash. Raymond: I know I-tey food when I hear it! It's all them "eenie" foods... zucchini... and linguine... and fettuccine. I want some American food, damn it! I want French fries!

Dialogue

Dave: Moocher, you're Catholic, right? Moocher: Yeah. Dave: Did you ever go to confession? Moocher: Twice. Dave: Did it make you feel better? Moocher: Once.

Dialogue

Raymond: You guys still go swimmin' in the quarries? Dave: Sure. Raymond: So, the only thing you got to show for my 20 years of work is the holes we left behind?

Dialogue

Raymond: If you eat so much, Moocher, how come you're so damned small? Moocher: Oh... It's my metabolism. I eat 3 times a day and my metabolism eats 5 times a day.

Dialogue

Dave: You mean we might be a father? Raymond: No. I might be a father. And your mom might be a mother. And YOU might be a brother. See, that way I keep it all in the family. Moocher: Wow! Hey, I didn't think people your age... Raymond: The next word may be your last, kid!

Dialogue

Dave: Hi, Kathy. Katherine: [not realizing that Dave's not really the Italian guy he made himself out to be] Oh, God, what did you do to yourself? Dave: I just, uh... Katherine: Oh, I liked you better before. Oh, what happened to your cornicello? Katherine: [Dave remains silent] Now you look like everybody else. Dave: I am everybody else.

Dialogue

Mike: [after discovering that the college kids beat Cyril up] They want a fight, we'll give 'em a fight. Cyril: We rednecks are few... college paleface students are many. I counsel peace.

Dialogue

Mike: The only thing I'm afraid of is wastin' the rest of my life with you guys! Cyril: I thought that was the whole plan. That we were going to waste the rest of our lives together.

Dialogue

Dave: Everybody cheats. I just didn't know. Raymond: Well, now you know.

Dialogue

Dave: Hell, I don't want to go to college Dad. To hell with them. I'm proud of being a cutter. Raymond: You're not a cutter. I'm a cutter.