Monster House

Mr. Nebbercracker: [to Eliza] GET OFF MY LAWN! [Eliza screams in terror; runs over to her as she tries to get her tricycle out of his lawn while pedaling faster] Trespasser! Do you want to be eaten alive?! Eliza: No. Mr. Nebbercracker: Then GET OUT OF HERE! Eliza: My Tric..... Mr. Nebbercracker: STAY AWAY FROM MY HOUSE!

Monster House (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

DJ: [running out the front door] Mom, he did it again! He took another tricycle. Mrs. Walters: Okay, honey. We talked about this. You cannot stay up in your room all day, staring at an old man through a telescope. DJ: But, Mom, there's something wrong with that house. I'm serious! Mrs. Walters: What was that? DJ: [clears throat] I'm serious. Mrs. Walters: His voice sounds funny. Mr. Walters: Somebody's hitting puberty. What's happening to my body, right, buddy? Mrs. Walters: Maybe you should come with us. Mr. Walters: Oh, no, the boy's too busy. He's got his spying to do. DJ: I'm not spying. Well... Mr. Walters: Well, that's okay, buddy. When I was your age, I did the exact same thing. Of course, it was with binoculars and involved the lovely Jensen twins, neither of which was as lovely as your beautiful mother. Will you be an angel and help bring out the incisor? Mrs. Walters: Oh, yeah, the incisor. You don't wanna forget that. Mr. Walters: Here, hold this.

Monster House (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Mrs. Walters: Elizabeth will be here in a few hours. If anything happens, call the police and hide in your closet. Mr. Walters: He knows that. Mrs. Walters: See you tomorrow night. [gasps] What have you done? Mr. Walters: Just let me drive this thing, will you? Mrs. Walters: Where is DJ? Where's DJ? Mr. Walters: Well, you would be so happy if he was under the car, wouldn't you? Chowder: Sorry. It's hard to see with that mask on. Mr. Walters: Then why don't you keep it off, Chowder? Mrs. Walters: Why'd you put up your window? DJ: Chowder... Mr. Walters: It's aerodynamic. We've got to make time. Chowder: Hi, DJ. Mrs. Walters: The children, the children. Mr. Walters: What children? Mrs. Walters: Bye-bye, baby. Tell him you love him dear, please. Mr. Walters: He knows that. Mrs. Walters: Tell your son that you love him. Mr. Walters: I don't wanna tell my son that I love him. Mrs. Walters: He's your son. You have to say it. Roll down the window. Mr. Walters: Why do I have to roll down my wi

Monster House (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Mr. Nebbercracker: YOU! DJ: No. Chowder: DJ, run! Get the ball and run! You are so close! Mr. Nebbercracker: What have you done? Chowder: Just nudge it over here. DJ: I'm sorry. Oh, I'm so, so sorry. I didn't mean... Mr. Nebbercracker: YOU ARE DEAD! [angrily runs after DJ] Chowder: Run! DJ, come on! [starts running from Nebbercracker] DJ: Chowder! Chowder: Come on, DJ! [Chowder sees DJ being caught by Nebbercracker] DJ: [screaming] HELP, CHOWDER! Chowder: [shouting] Help!!! Help!!! Mr. Nebbercracker: [lifting DJ in the sky like in the Lion king] You think you can just terrorize my lawn?! DJ: [getting lifted] No, I'm sorry! Mr. Nebbercracker: You wanna be a dead person?! DJ: No, I love life! Mr. Nebbercracker: This place is not a playground for children! DJ: Got it from now on! Mr. Nebbercracker: This is my house! Why can't you respect that? Why can't you just, stay away from my....?!?! [stops and makes weird faces, his spine cracks as he falls down on top of DJ, releasing him] Chowder:

Monster House (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Chowder: Heat seeker! DJ: Chowder, what are you doing?! Shut up! Chowder: What? DJ: Nebbercracker's back from the dead. Chowder: No way. DJ: Yeah. Chowder: They left the keys in here. You dare me? DJ: Chowder, you're not listening to me! Nebbercracker's haunting me, all right? His blood is on my hands. And now he's coming back for revenge. Chowder: You're really crazy right now, have you noticed that? I think you're just freaking out because you killed a guy today. Life goes on for you. Try and relax, be cool like me. DJ: Chowder, what are you doing?! Chowder: Make it stop! DJ: Quit screwing around! I need your help. Chowder: Fine, you want my help? DJ: Yeah. Chowder: I got three words for you: trick-or-treat. DJ: Okay, whatever. Let's go. Chowder: Hold on. DJ: Chowder, come on. Chowder: The haunting is subtle, yet really, really boring. Can I go home now? DJ: Chowder, shh! He'll hear you! Chowder: DJ, this is why nobody will sit next to us at lunch. I'll go ding-dong-ditch the house a

Monster House (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Chowder: 8:00am. No detectable movement. DJ: No detectable movement. Zee: Hey, DJ, I brought you some chocolate. DJ: Cover blown? Chowder: Oh, no detectable movement. Zee: What are you two weirdos up to? Chowder: Oh, nothing. Just something in the house across the street just tried to eat us! DJ: Yeah, we've been up all night watching it! We haven't even left this room once! Not even to go to the bathroom! Don't drink that! Zee: Oh, gross! Whatever disease you guys have, I'm sure it's got letters and that they make pills for it. DJ: Zee, it's true. There's something evil going on across the street. Zee: That's excellent. I'm really happy for you. Anyway, have you two astronomers seen Bones? He left last night unexpectedly and he never came back. DJ: Never came back? Chowder: The bottle! DJ: Of course! Zee: Oh, okay, you know what? I really don't have time for this. Chowder: Listen, Zee, I really don't know how to tell you this... DJ: Your boyfriend has most likely been eaten alive. Zee

Monster House (film), CC BY-SA 4.0