Quotes

Deja Vu [1.1]

Gene Hunt: Blimey, if that skirt was hitched any higher I could see what you had for breakfast. Ray, cuff this nancy berk. Chris, look after the lady. Classiest prozzie I've seen all week! Alex Drake: [recognising her rescuers] DC Chris Skelton? Chris Skelton: [surprised] Roger that. Alex Drake: DS Ray Carling? [Ray, busy beating up a suspect, looks up] Gene Hunt!? [Alex faints in shock] Gene Hunt: My reputation precedes me!

Deja Vu [1.1]

[after rescuing a dazed Alex from being run over] Are you crazy? Do you have any idea how much paperwork there is for suicides?

The Happy Day [1.2]

Personally I have no desire whatsoever to see your bony, privately-educated bottom, but it's good for morale.

The Happy Day [1.2]

[after Shaz offers an opinion on the intended target of a bomb] When I need advice from a lobotomised Essex girl, I will ask for it!

The Happy Day [1.2]

Alex Drake: Please? Gene Hunt: No. Alex Drake: I'll let you stamp my bum. Gene Hunt: I'll get my coat.

The Happy Day [1.2]

Gene Hunt: DI Bollyknickers, you appear to be drunk in charge of a handbag and dressed like a tart again. Alex Drake: Oh, piss off, you lardy fascist! Gene Hunt: We'll make a copper of you yet.

Nothing Changes [1.3]

Gene Hunt: I am trying to help you here! Alex Drake: Well I don't need your help! Their archaic attitude is their problem, not mine! Gene Hunt: Wrong. It's my problem. To keep this department running smoothly, I need their respect, which I've got. They look up to me, they should be looking up to you and all! Alex Drake: What do you want me to do, morph into a nun!? IT'S NOT LIKE I'VE SHAGGED AN ENTIRE RUGBY TEAM, IS IT!? Ray Carling: [outside] I'll bet she has. [the rest of CID laugh] Alex Drake: It's your fault, anyway! Gene Hunt: How is it my fault!? Alex Drake: Because you left me on my own, and I ended up with some Thatcherite wanker! Gene Hunt: I told you to go to bed, alone! If you'd listened to me in the first place, we wouldn't be wasting my time, having this ridiculous conversation!

Nothing Changes [1.3]

Alex Drake: The skeleton in the closet. Private education, years at Oxbridge, all counted for nothing really, because I, Alex Drake, was once a prostitute. Chris Skelton: Bloody hell! Ray Carling: [chuckles] I knew it! Alex Drake: There, I've said it. Ray Carling: [chortles] Christ on a bike! Alex Drake: That wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Gene Hunt: You're telling me you lied to get onto the force? Alex Drake: No, actually. What I just told you was a lie. I did it to show you how your preconceptions can inform your judgements about other people, especially prostitutes. Sorry. Gene Hunt: You know, sometime I hate you, Drake. Alex Drake: [chuckles] So I'm not what you'd expect a prostitute to be? If I said I'd been raped, you'd believe me but not someone like Trixie, not a woman like that? Gene Hunt: No, not hate, despise. Alex Drake: Alright, so I'm not a hooker. But if I was, do you know something, Gene? You could never, ever afford me! Gene Hunt: You know, you might talk wit

The Missing Link [1.4]

I am trying to find out who murdered this man. If that makes me a fascist, then "Heil bloody Hilter!"

Charity Begins At Home [1.7]

Well get off me then!

Charity Begins At Home [1.7]

Gene Hunt: All right, I'm putting a end to this. Alex Drake: No, no, you can't go! Alex Drake: Somebody is going to die!

Alex's Big Day [1.8]

Gene Hunt: I'm sure we can arrange a car to take Lord Scarman home. Lord Scarman: I've talked to several young, homosexual men, and heard their despair, their dreadful tales of police harassment. Gene Hunt: Put it all in your report, your Lordship! Lord Scarman: The police harassment of sexual and racial minorities is an endemic, ineradicable disease threatening the very survival of our society! Gene Hunt: [coldly] Catchy title. Got "Bestseller" written all over it. Now if you'll excuse me...! [turns away] Lord Scarman: I'll be keeping a beady eye on you, DCI Hunt! [Gene turns back to face him] Gene Hunt: Is that right!? Well you can take this home in your Harrods pipe and smoke it! In twenty years time, when the streets are awash with filth, and you're too frightened to leave your big, posh Belsize Park house after dark, don't come running to me, mate! Because I'll be in Alicante, oiled up, skin sizzling in the midday sun like a burnt sausage! Lord Scarman: If you're quite finished...

Episode 1 [3.1]

[title sequence introduction] My name is Alex Drake. And quite frankly, your guess is as good as mine.

Episode 2 [3.2]

[extremely annoyed] Right, you lot, sit down and do some bloody work! I've got D&C coming down on me like a ton of bricks, and all you bastards can do is bicker like girls! It ends now! Right, can we just have five minutes peace and quiet, while I feed my hangover a small Scotch, thank you?

Episode 2 [3.2]

[After Chris finds a severed hand in the mail] Looks like you got your hand-job after all, mate.

Episode 2 [3.2]

Jim Keats: Take a seat Ray. Ray Carling: Blimey. It's hotter than a Majorcan minge in 'ere! Jim Keats: Sorry. Poor bloody circulation.

Episode 2 [3.2]

[To desk clerk] I'm lookin' for love. You got any?

Episode 2 [3.2]

Gene Hunt: You know what!? You'll get every soppy, pustular virgin this side of the Blackwall Tunnel! Alex Drake: [smugly] At least I'll get some replies.

Episode 2 [3.2]

Gene Hunt: Are you a killer, Harris? Harris: No, Mr Hunt! Gene Hunt: Are you a dishonest little scrotum who's been buying shit lager with somebody else's chequebook? Harris: Yes, Mr Hunt! Alex Drake: [exasperated] Is this strictly necessary? Gene Hunt: No, but it's bloody good fun!

Episode 2 [3.2]

Ray Carling: [chuckling] The oldest trick in the book. "Oh, the wife's just died. I'm bringing up two kids on me own". Next thing you know, your ankles are right behind your ears! Gene Hunt: Looks like you've been stitched up like a kipper, Bolly! Alex Drake: [furious] Little shit! Let's get him! Gene Hunt: I know your professional pride is... Alex Drake: Piqued? Gene Hunt: Trampled on like a dead rat. But one gloomy prognosis doesn't make a case, we need evidence. [to Chris] See if he's got a record. Alex Drake: I could go in again as bait. Gene Hunt: No, he's already seen you. He liked them young. Alex Drake: [offended] I am young, you rude git!

Episode 2 [3.2]

Ray Carling: Can I just say, that I might not have been the biggest supporter of women in the police force. [the rest of CID laugh] Hey, it's not my fault I've got an illness with a posh name! What's it called? Alex Drake: Misogyny. Ray Carling: But what Shaz did tonight was incredible. [the others applaud] And I for one am very proud to have been a colleague of yours. [the others applaud and cheer]

Episode 2 [3.2]

Gene Hunt: Right Shaz, let's put an end to this leaving nonsense! Shaz: Guv, I thought you said you wouldn't mention it! Gene Hunt: I lied. It's long been an ambition of mine to see you out of your uniform -- [the rest of CID laugh] Shaz: GUV! Gene Hunt: No, I mean out of THE uniform. What I'm trying to say is you keep up this quality of work, you'll be in CID by Christmas!

Episode 2 [3.2]

You know, Keats and people like him, they wanna take us down, Alex. So whatever he says... don't help him.

Episode 4 [3.4]

Here we go again.

Episode 4 [3.4]

Thank you Jim for what you did. Thank you for gracing us with your presence, for coming down from your ivory tower to poke and prod us mere mortals and for giving me the chance to work with such a fine figure of a man. You know, sometimes i'm surprised that i can even look at you, such is the brightness of the sun that shines from your arse. Thank you Jim, Thank you.

Episode 5 [3.5]

Alex Drake: Who is you?! Gene Hunt: That is Litton. Detective Chief Inspector Bastard Litton!

Episode 5 [3.5]

Alex Drake: [To Gene] I've decided to trust you. Alex Drake: But on one condition. Gene Hunt: Oh, I knew this wouldn't be easy. Alex Drake: Look me in the eye and tell me you had nothing to do with the death of Sam Tyler. Please. Just tell me.

Episode 7 [3.7]

Jim Keats: I don't like it any more than you, but this is now an international incident. NOt something Fenchurch East really needs at this moment. Gene Hunt: You know, I don't care about your report, Keats! Jim Keats: Yes you do. That's what all this posturing's about! Alex Drake: Guv, this is bigger than a spat with Special Branch; this is another state, another country. Gene Hunt: "Gene Hunt versus another country"!? I rather like the sound of that! Jim Keats: You know, you make my job so easy! Alex Drake: Why haven't you gone home, Shaz? Shaz: I did, but I couldn't sleep, Ma'am. Thought I'd see how Chris was. Gene Hunt: Right, where is the Caped Crusader? [Chris walks in] Chris Skelton: Here I am, Guv. Gene Hunt: Go and bring Tobias up from the cells. Chris Skelton: I can't do that. Gene Hunt: Why not? Chris Skelton: [noncommittally] He's not there. [looks away] Gene Hunt: What do you mean, he's not there!? Alex Drake: Where is he, Chris? Chris Skelton: I don't know. [Gene rolls his

Episode 7 [3.7]

Chris Skelton: You're the best DCI I've ever met, and I've been proud to work under you. But I'm not going to be your doormat any more, Guv. Those days have gone. Gene Hunt: Are they now? Chris Skelton: Buy me a drink, and we'll say no more about it. [holds out his hand] Gene Hunt: Luigi, get Mr. Skelton a drink. Luigi: Si, Senor Hunt.