Quotes

Dialogue

Inspector Todd: You mind telling me where the fuck you come off going undercover without authorization from me? What the fuck's this all about? You wanna play some fucking bullshit cowboy cop? Go do it in somebody else's precinct! Axel Foley: Don't you wanna hear my side of the story? Inspector Todd: What's your fucking side of the story? Axel Foley: [pause] Let's hear your side of the story. Inspector Todd: Hey Axel, I'm not takin' anymore of this shit from you. You know how much this little stunt of yours is gonna cost this city? Axel Foley: I don't think cost is the issue here, sir. I think the issue should be my blatant disregard for proper procedure. Inspector Todd: You damn right, wise ass! The mayor called the Chief, the Chief called the Deputy Chief and the Deputy Chief just chewed my ass out! You see I don't have any bit of it left, don't you? Where the fuck did you get a truckload of cigarettes from anyway? Axel Foley: From the Dearborn Hijacking. Inspector Todd: From the Dea

Dialogue

Axel Foley: Look, I heard a rumor that you're gonna use Rand on this case, and between the 2 of us, the guy doesn't know the time of day. Inspector Todd: Don't mess with me now, Axel. Axel: It's the first time he's left his desk in 12 years. Todd: At least he's HAD 12 years! Anyway, it's a Homicide case and it belongs to Rand. Now, go to the hospital! Axel: Well, you don't mind if I ask around a little bit, do you? Todd: Don't do a DAMN thing; it's Rand's case. Yo' ass is SKATING on thin ice as it is! Axel: Hey, look, we're talkin' about a FRIEND OF MINE HERE! Todd: Yes, we are, aren't we? Now, let's take a close look at that: 1, a hoodlum friend. 2, a professional hit. 3, in a cop's apartment. This whole thing stinks to high Heaven. Axel: How you know it was a professional hit? Todd: I didn't just walk into this town from the cotton fields! Whoever killed your friend wasn't worried about yo' little narrow ass; if they were, you'd be lyin' beside him in that meat wagon! Just don't do a

Dialogue

Taggart: Why didn't you identify yourself as a police officer when you were arrested? Axel: Because I was minding my own business. Where the fuck do you guys get off on arresting somebody for getting thrown out of a window? Taggart: We have six witnesses that say you broke in and started tearing up the place, then jumped out the window! Axel: And do you guys believe that? What the fuck are you, cops or doormen? Taggart: We're more likely to believe an important local businessman than a foul-mouthed jerk from out of town. Axel: Foul-mouthed? Axel: Fuck you, man. Rosewood: [Taggart stands up and draws himself to full height] Hey, Sarge... Taggart: You watch your mouth. Axel: [standing] Hey, man. Don't square off on me with some bullshit. [shoves Taggart] You want to start some static? Taggart: Hey, don't push me! Axel: [shoves Taggart again] Fuck you, man! Bogomil: [witnessing from his office] Taggart! Taggart: Yes, sir. Bogomil: Come here. Taggart: I apologize for striking you. I have n

Dialogue

Axel Foley: What? Y'all the second team? Detective McCabe: We're the first team. Detective Foster: Yeah, and we're not gonna fall for a banana in the tailpipe. Axel Foley: [mocking him] You're not gonna fall for the banana in the tailpipe? It should be more natural, brother. It should flow out, like this - "Look, man, I ain't fallin' for no banana in my tailpipe!" See, that's more natural for us. You been hanging out with this dude too long.

Dialogue

Serge: [taking notice to Axel's interest in the artwork] I see you look at this piece. Axel Foley: Yeah. I was wondering how much something like this went for. Serge: 130,000 dollar. Axel Foley: Get the fuck out of here! Serge: [laughing] No, I cannot! It's serious! Because it's very important piece. Axel Foley: Have you ever sold one of these? Serge: [proudly] Sell it yesterday to a collector. Axel Foley: Get the fuck out of here! Serge: No! I'm serious! I sell it myself!

Dialogue

Axel Foley: Ok, Billy, your job is just sit down here and observe things, alright? Don't make a move until I come out and get you. Billy Rosewood: I don't see why I can't go in. Axel: You can't go in 'cause you're a cop in this town. You go in there without probable cause, they're gonna call it an illegal search, you know that. Or didn't they teach you that in cop school?

Dialogue

Detective Rosewood: Police! You're all under arrest! Sergeant Taggart: You do that again, I'll shoot you myself!