Quotes

Other

[reading from a note left by Doc Hogue] "When to call me, you've been stabbed, shot, poisoned, separated from an appendage, knocked or beaten unconscious, run over by a tractor mower, or generally about to bleed to death. Otherwise, leave me alone."

Dialogue

Dr. Stone: I am so fucked. Deputy Cotton: Watch your language doc.You're in the buckle of the bible belt here.Try saying fudge or something. Dr. Stone: Fiddlesticks too strong? Deputy Cotton: Depends.

Dialogue

Dr. Stone: If you tell me you're here for a physical,you're gonna make my day. Vialula: It's unprofessional to flirt with the patients. Dr. Stone: I'm just on my way to Beverley Hills. Plastic surgery...Not that you'd need any. Vialula: Nice try.

Dialogue

Dr. Stone: What are you talking about? Mayor Nicholson: Timing. Same thing with women. And with southern women, well, they require a substantial commitment. You might have to stay here six months, I don't know, maybe more. Dr. Stone: Are you a betting man, Nick? Mayor Nicholson: Well, I have been known on occasion. Dr. Stone: It'll take me about a week. Mayor Nicholson: Wait a minute, you mean... Vialula in the center pocket?

Dialogue

Dr. Stone: You want to trade, the pig for the part? Melvin: If you can part with the pig. Dr. Stone: Good.

Dialogue

Vialula: I suspect your version of romance is whatever will separate me from my panties. Dr. Stone: No, I am just talking about dinner. Wear make-up, put on a dress. Panties are optional.

Dialogue

Dr. Stone: Woah, who are you? Vialula: Don't tease me. Dr. Stone: No I'm serious.You look a lot like Lou,but you're a lot prettier. Vialula: I'm warning you Stone, I could probably whoop you in a fistfight.

Dialogue

Hank: [about Los Angeles] I heard the women out there have their chests enlarged, their thighs vacuumed, and barf on purpose. Lillian: [hits Hank in the back of the head] Not while people are eating.

Dialogue

Dr. Hogue: Tell us about real doctoring Stone.You know,big-city medicine. Dr. Stone: Well so much has changed in the forty years since you went to medical school doctor, I really wouldn't know where to start. Dr. Hogue: Smart-ass. Mayor Nicholson: Who got you good!

Dialogue

There's a blurred spot in my vision... there... no, there, no, no... I'm cured.

Dialogue

Dr. Stone: [while dancing] The music's stopped. Vialula: What music?

Dialogue

Dr. Stone: How's Hogue? Nancy Lee: Well, he's the same. Dr. Stone: Melvin? Nancy Lee: Same. Dr. Stone: How's your dad? Nancy Lee: Why don't ask me about Vialula? Dr. Stone: Oh, ha ha. No, I mean what's there to ask really? I mean, so I guess she and Hank are... Hank: You're in my chair. Hank: Slide a bit, Nancy Lee. [sits down] There is a man in the toilet sellin' after shave. Now, what's that all about?

Dialogue

Nancy Lee: Is that a star? Hank: No, that's Ted Danson.

Dialogue

Vialula: I'm going for breakfast, you want anything? Nurse Packer: Mmm-hmmm, how about Bob Barker? Vialula: [snorts] I'll see what I can do.

Dialogue

Vialula: You steal that pig? Dr. Stone: Well, I heard she was wasting away in this one-pig town. Vialula: And you thought you'd come back and rescue her. Dr. Stone: Yeah, something like that. Vialula: And what makes you think she'll take you back? Dr. Stone: Because I love her. Vialula: [pause] Go back to Los Angeles. [walks past him] Dr. Stone: [pulls her back] I don't want Los Angeles. I want you. [kisses her] Vialula: You got great tonsils. Dr. Stone: That ain't all. [smiles]

Dialogue

Dr. Stone: You know, I just thought of something. I guess I'm gonna have time to collect that ten dollars from Nick. Vialula: You lost that bet. Dr. Stone: Says who? I did not lose it. Vialula: Says me. Dr. Stone: Says you? You have no say in this bet - you are the bet. Vialula: I don't care. The bet was for one week. You lost. Dr. Stone: Ah, it's your word against mine. Vialula: You mean you would sully my reputation for ten measly dollars? Dr. Stone: [laughs] Absolutely! I don't even know what sully means.