Ruthless People

Ken: [over the phone] If you notify the police, your wife will be killed. If you notify the media, she will be killed. If you deviate from our instructions in any way whatsoever, she will be killed. Do you understand? Sam: [with a big grin on his face] Perfectly News reporter: Just minutes ago, Mr. Stone received a phone call from a man demanding a ransom from his wife, Barbara.

Ruthless People, CC BY-SA 4.0

Barbara: My husband worships the ground I walk on! When he hears about this, he will explode! Sam: Bye-bye, Barbara!

Ruthless People, CC BY-SA 4.0

Sam: Hang on, will ya, Harry, I have some friends here. Sam: Why don't you call me on my office line?, -7582777777. Right? Sam: Business associate... Harry: 77777-75827777777, 77582777777.

Ruthless People, CC BY-SA 4.0

Ken: [over the phone] Mr. Stone, this is no joke. We're desperate people. Sam: I believe this is a joke pal and you're it. The last time we spoke you said my wife would be in the morgue if I didn't pay. Well, I didn't pay and I was at the morgue and she wasn't there. You lied to me. You know what I think? Ken: No. Sam: You got no nuts. What do I have to do? Put a gun in your hand, aim, and pull your finger down you spineless wimp. I dare you to kill her. Sam: Now that oughta do it.

Ruthless People, CC BY-SA 4.0

Barbara: When do I get outta here? Sandy: Well, as soon as Mr. Stone pays the ransom. Barbara: Well, what's the problem? What is the ransom? Sandy: It...it was $500,000. Barbara: That shouldn't be a problem. Sandy: He complained. Barbara: He complained? Sandy: Then we dropped our price to $50,000. Barbara: Yeah? Sandy: He didn't pay. Barbara: He didn't pay? So now what? Sandy: [crying] So now, we're dropping our price again to $10,000. Barbara: Do I understand this correctly? I'm being marked down? What is this, the bargain basement? [starts crying] I've been kidnapped by Kmart!

Ruthless People, CC BY-SA 4.0

Bender: GIVE THE BAG TO BOZO, DROP THE GUN, AND PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR. Earl: Who said that? Walter: This could very well be the stupidest person on the face of the earth. Perhaps we should shoot him. Bender: IT'S THE POLICE DEPARTMENT. Earl: Really? Bender: NO! WE'RE THE NATIONAL RIFLE ASSOCIATION!

Ruthless People, CC BY-SA 4.0