Step by Step

Carol: I can't believe girls use a rating system to decide which boys are worth dating. Do boys use this system, too? Dana: No, theirs is much simpler. They only have one category, Mom, and your numbers would stack up very well.

Step by Step (TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0

Mark: J.T. said I can't apologize, because that would make me a wimp. Cody: Okay, I just have one more small question for you... *why* would you take advice from a *bonehead* like J.T.? Mark: You said that already. Cody: I know, I'm using repetitious dialogue to prove a point. Now think about it, what does JT have? He has the swimsuit issues, and he has the bun cruncher channel. What does he know about women?

Step by Step (TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0

Cody: You look like you got a little droop in your drawers. Mark: I had a rough night. Gabrielle and I had a little brouhaha. Cody: Brouhaha, man that Hungarian food's a killer, did that paprika give you a scooch 1-2-3? Mark: No, Cody, we had a fight. Cody: Wow, a fight and a scooch 1-2-3, you *did* have a rough night. Mark: It was such a stupid fight, I feel awful. Cody: Then why don't you just go upstairs and apologize? Mark: J.T. told me real men don't apologize. Cody: Okay, I just have one small question for you... why would you take advice from a *bonehead* like JT?

Step by Step (TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0

Al: Parents get so uptight about teaching their kids to drive. I'm gonna have my friend Debbie teach me. Frank: Demolition Debby? I don't think so.

Step by Step (TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0

Max: What about The Terminator? Mark: Seen it. Max: Grumpy Old Men? Mark: Lame. Max: Sleepless in Seattle. Mark: That's a chick flick. Max: You know, this is all your dad's fault. I can't believe he wouldn't let you see Showgirls. Mark: Look who's talking. You still take Flintstonevitamins. Max: Shut up, man. Mark: No, you shut up. Max: You wanna tell me to shut up? Roland: Guys. Guys. Over here. Act natural. I got something you're gonna wanna see. Mark: The Little Mermaid? Man, if we were gonna go animated, we should have gotten Pocahontas. At least she's got cleavage. Roland: Check this out. Mark: [opens the tape] The Naughty Nurses? Roland: It even says it right here on the video. "They make their patients sick with passion." Mark: Man, we can't rent this kind of movie. Roland: We can if it's inside the Little Mermaidbox and nobody knows about it. Mark: But if we get caught, our parents will kill us. Roland: Yeah, but we'll sure die real happy. Mark: You're right. Let's do it. Rolan

Step by Step (TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0

Frank: Hey, guys. What's going on? Max, Mark, and Roland: Nothing. Nothing at all. Nothing. No. None. No, nothing. No, nothing. Frank: Then, what's the TV doing here in the garage? Mark: We were just watching The Little Mermaid. See? It says right here on the box. The Little Mermaid. Wholesome, family entertainment. Wholesome. Frank: Let me see it. Come on. Come on. Let me see it. [he angrily grabs the tape away from Mark] The Little Mermaid. [opens the tape box] The Naughty Nurses. Mark: Some jerk at the video store must have put the wrong tape in the box. Don't they know that we're impressionable? Roland: I know I am. Ha! We better go down to the video store and return this immediately. Frank: I'll tell you what, Roland. I'll return the tape. You and Max run on home and tell your folks they can expect a call from me. Roland: [leaves] Man, puberty is hell. Max: [leaves] My dad's gonna ground me until I'm 40. Al: Well, Dad, this must be a real proud day for you. One son is getting marr

Step by Step (TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0