iCarly, season 1

Carly: Okay, Jeb. You ready to audition? Jeb: Yeah. I will be performing a scene from a French play called La Ou Est Ma Femme. Sam: Okay... Carly: We don't know what that means, but knock us out. Rolling? Freddie: Uh... rolling. Jeb: [clears throat; French accent] BUT, BUT, WHERE DID SHE GO?! I DON'T KNOW! BUT WHEN WILL SHE BE BACK?!? I DON'T KNOW!! WELL, WHERE CAN I FIND HER!?! I TELL YA, I DO NOT KNOW!!! Carly: Okay! Sam: Nice job! Sam: What'd you think? Carly: [French accent] I DON'T KNOW! Sam: [French accent] YOU DON'T KNOW?!? Carly: [French accent] I TELL YOU, I DO NOT KNOW!! Sam: [French accent] BUT YOU MUST KNOW!!! Carly: [French accent] HOW CAN I KNOW WHEN I DO NOT KNOW!!!??? Sam: [French accent] I DON'T KNOW!!!!

ICarly (season 1), CC BY-SA 4.0

Freddie: <big><big><big>AAAHHHH!! QUIT IT, SAM! LET GO OF MY FOOT! TOO MUCH FRICTION! LET GO! WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?!</big></big></big> Carly: WHY'D YOU FILM US AT THE AUDITIONS TODAY? Freddie: Oh, 'cause you guys were being funny. Sam: Well, you shouldn't have put us online without our permission!!! Freddie: I didn't! I edited you guys out before I uploaded the auditions. Carly: No, you did the opposite of that.

ICarly (season 1), CC BY-SA 4.0

Freddie: It says, "At your request, this video will be removed..." Carly: Oh, good. Sam: Finally! Freddie: "...tomorrow morning." Carly: Aw, man! Sam: Freddie?! Freddie: Alright! Look, before you get all freaked out, SplashFace has message boards. Freddie: So, let's see what people are saying about the video. Um... okay, here's one: "Carly, you and your friend Sam crack me up... FUNNY STUFF!" Freddie: Wait...! SlackerBoy314 writes: "Carly and Sam, you chicks are HILARIOUS! When's your next show???" And this kid says: "You guys are way better than most of the PUKE here on SplashFace." Sam: Wow... they love us. Carly: Yeah. More than puke.

ICarly (season 1), CC BY-SA 4.0

Carly: Hey there, people of Earth! I'm Carly Shay, and this is our very first webcast of a little show we call iCarly! Sam: She's Carly! Carly: She's Sam! Sam: Sam I am! Carly: Carly, Sam. Sam: I think they're clear. Carly: Demonstrate the thing. Sam: Oh, yeah. [presents her signature remote] With this item provided by our dorky friend Freddie... Freddie: THAT'S DISRESPECTFUL! Sam: We can do this... [plays applause noises] And this... [plays groaning noises] And this. [plays rock music as she and Carly dance around]

ICarly (season 1), CC BY-SA 4.0

Carly: Which is why I say the potato is superior to the sports bra. Sam: And if you don't believe us, try making French fries out of a sports bra! Spencer: I came up with an insanely awesome way to get more people watching your guys' webcast! Freddie: Tell me. Spencer: We get a bunch of fireworks, right? And not the lightweight consumer-grade stuff. I'm talking Fourth of July razzle-dazzle. Freddie: Razzle-dazzle? Spencer: Yes, both! Then, at night, we launch the fireworks off the roof of our building, and they explode spelling out "iCarly.com" in the sky! Freddie: Can we really do that? Spencer: No. Freddie: What's that? Carly: Soggy banner. Our plans to get more viewers didn't go too well. Sam: Yeah, like how the Titanic staying afloat didn't go too well. Carly: Come on, maybe a few people read our sign... Before the rain ruined all our hard work and made us sad. Sam: Yeah. We could still win. Freddie: Yeah, I don't think so. I think me and Spencer are gonna win, and you two are gonn

ICarly (season 1), CC BY-SA 4.0

Sam: Tell me everything! Carly: He said we should hang out some time! [Girlish screams; teacher walks by and she speaks in a fake tone] Actually, I feel that teachers should give us more homework. Sam: Yes. More homework and more discipline. Carly: Yes, discipline is a priority in...

ICarly (season 1), CC BY-SA 4.0