Quotes

Dialogue

Narrator: [voiceover] Red Riding Hood. You probably know the story. [cue the sound of a small girl screaming] But there's more to every tale than meets the eye. It's just like they always say: "You can't judge a book by its cover". If you want to know the truth, you've got to flip through the pages. Red: [opens the door] Granny? [hearing nothing, steps into the living room] It's me, Red. [looks around, uncertain] Is everything okay? Wolf: [falsetto voice] Oh, oh yeah. Sure thing. Come on in. Red: [cautiously approaches him] What? Wh-Who are you? Wolf: I'm your grandma. Red: Your face looks really weird, Granny. Wolf: I've been sick, I...uh... [puts his hands over his chest] Red: Your mouth doesn't move when you talk. Wolf: [taps his mask] Oh, uh, plastic surgery. Grandma's had a little work done. Now come on over here. Let's have a look at you. Red: [steps closer, warily] So...what's going on, "grandma"? Wolf: Oh, this and that. Doing a lot of quilting. So, you got the loot? Red: [noti

Dialogue

Chief Ted Grizzly: Bill. Det. Bill Stork: [turns around, startled] Chief! Chief Grizzly: All right, uh, what have we got? Det. Stork: Ah, it's a domestic disturbance: breaking and entering, wielding an axe without a license, intent to eat... Chief Grizzly: I get the picture. Any connection with the recipe robberies? Det. Stork: You mean the Goodie Bandit? Could be. The house belongs to Granny Puckett. Chief Grizzly: The cookbook lady? Det. Stork: Yeah that's the one. Chief Grizzly: Hmm. [opens the door] Det. Stork: Okay, Paul Bunyan here was swinging the axe, and Wolfie was trying to eat Li'l Bit. Chief Grizzly: All right, get a muzzle on that guy. Wolf: Hey, I can explain everything. Chief Grizzly: Well you can explain it to the judge. [turns to Red] Shouldn't you be in school? Red: Shouldn't I have a lawyer? Chief Grizzly: [is distracted by something] Wha-What are you doing? Pigs: Oh, uh, hey, Chief. Chief Grizzly: Don't eat that! That's evidence! Timmy: Right. Chief Grizzly: All rig

Dialogue

Flippers: What's with the handcuffs on a little girl? Her wrists could slip right out! How 'bout a cage? Det. Stork: [on walkie-talkie, eager] Bring in the cage! Flippers: I was being sarcastic. Det. Stork: [on walkie-talkie, disappointed] Sarcasm. Strike the cage... Chief Grizzly: [sighs] Well all right. Get the cuffs off her. Nicky Flippers: So, Red, why don't you explain how this all began? Red: Well, like any other day: I was making deliveries to my granny's goodie shop.

Dialogue

Boingo: Hey Red! [hops into her basket] Oh, nice outfit! Always "red" with you. You must be in autumn. Red: [smiles] Hey, Boingo. Aren't you helping the Muffin Man today? Boingo: [glumly] No, he closed up shop. Somebody took all his recipes last night and now I'm out of a job! Red: Oh, gee, Boingo, I'm really sorry! Are you still running the cable car? Boingo: Yeah. Yeah, I am, but it's nothin' like making goodies all day. I'll tell you that. Red: Would a carrot crumpet make you feel better? [hands him one] Boingo: [brightens] Oh boy, oh boy! Thanks, Red! I can always count on you to deliver, you little rascally...devil! Red: Yeah, well, the woods don't go 'round by themselves. Mother Beaver: Come on, let's go. Child Beaver: Where are we going now, mama? Red: [narrating] With the Goodie Bandit on the loose, recipes were becoming an endangered species. I decided to call Granny. If anyone would know what to do, she would. Granny: I don't know what to do. I'm just a tired old lady. Red: Y

Dialogue

Woodpecker: Watchya readin', Red? [sees the magazine cover] "Far Away Places"? Are you going somewhere far away? Red: No. The world is too dangerous for me. [throws her arms up in exasperation, in the process throwing her magazine away. It lands spread-open on a passing car] Driver: [swerves and revs his engine] Aah! Can't see! Danger! Turn into the skid! [cuts back to Red as we hear the sound of screeching tires, followed seconds later by a loud crash. Red gives a tense look to the camera] I'm okay! I'll walk it off! Woodpecker: You can't go away! Who's gonna ride the goody bike? Red: If I had wings like you, I'd fly all the way past that mountain, [waves towards a snowcapped peak in the distance] and the next one and the next one...but I can't. I'm just a kid. Woodpecker: I'm just a woodpecker. [Red hears the sound of glass being shattered and flinches] Uh-oh. [Red shimmies down the rope and runs over to Granny's store, nearby, and finds the front window shattered. She opens the door

Dialogue

Boingo: I guess running the cable car's not so bad. You know, it's a great way to see the forest without having to worry about all the big, hairy beasts down there! Red: [unnerved] Beasts? Boingo: [hops over towards her end of the cabin] Oh, yeah, you know, beasts- the-the wolves, and the bobcats, and the mountain lions, and the...sabre tooth tigers! Bu-but mostly wolves. Mostly wolves. Forests can be a dangerous place for a little guy like me, with my, well look at me, I'm fuzzy. Hey, you deliver up this far? Red: Well, not usually. But I was thinking about what you told me earlier - about the Muffin Man? I need to protect Granny's recipes from that bandit's evil plan. They're gonna shut down everyone in the forest if we're not careful. [the doors fly open and she flails around, trying to keep her balance] Boingo: No! [jumps for Red's basket] Wolf: Afternoon. Red: [beat] Hello. Wolf: So, you're the little girl in the red hood? That was quite a bit of falling you did just now. Red: Oh,

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Wolf: You can't hold on to those recipes forever! I'll get you and your little granny too! Chief Grizzly: [offscreen] Yep, that settles it. [cuts back to the interview] We've got our bandit. Flippers: Ah, could be. I'd like to count my chickens after they hatch. Timmy: [oinks] Chickens? Red: You've gotta admit, a wolf? Stopping kids in the middle of the forest? That's pretty creepy! Flippers: [nods] Hmm, yes, right. But we don't arrest people for being creepy. Tommy: [on radio] Yeah, Bruce, you know that guy we've got in the tank? Bruce: Uh, the creepy one? Tommy: Yeah, better let him go. Flippers: [to Red] So you went on to Granny's? Red: I found an old trail up the north side of the mountain.

Dialogue

Red: Hello! [sees a mine shack across the meadow and runs towards it; Japeth is rocking on his horns as Red walks up the hill to the front porch] Hello. [Japeth doesn't hear her and continues yodeling] I'm looking for...Granny Puckett's house? Japeth: [singing] Graaaaaaaanneeee Puckeeeet... Red: Could you stop singing for one moment? Japeth: [singing] No I can't, I wish I could, but a mountain witch done put a spell on me, 37 years agoooooooo, and now I gotta sing every thing I saaaaaaaaayyyyyy... Red: [beat] Everything? Japeth: [speaking] That's right. Red: You just talked! Just now! [points a finger at Japeth] Japeth: Oh, did I? [singing] Did I? Dididididodadidididoooo...

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Red: Granny? Granny: Huh? What's that? Who's there? Red: It's Red. I'm on my way to come see you- Granny: Oh my, dearie, I-I'm not prepared! I need to...put down fresh doilies! Aah! [slips on something] Red: Granny! Granny! What's wrong? Granny: Gotta go, munchkin. Banzai! [hangs up] Red: [a worried expression creeps over her face] Oh no! [hangs up and turns to Japeth, wild-eyed] Mr. Goat, my granny's in trouble! I've got to find a way around the mountain, fast! Red: Oh, good! More singing...

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Are these tunnels? I need one that leads to Puckett Grove! [looks at Japeth, who is swinging around on the chandelier and yodeling] Oh... [sighs and turns back to the map]

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Granny: Red! Red: [looks up and, to her shock, sees Granny in the clouds above her] Granny? Granny: Use the hood, Red! Use the hood! Red: What?! [looks in disbelief as Japeth flies past her, holding his banjo and wearing antlers with rotors on the ends] Japeth: I was prepared! [flies up and away as Red looks on, bemused]

Dialogue

Red: Granny? It's me, Red. Is everything okay? Wolf: Oh! Oh yeah, sure thing. Flippers: So this Wolf, he was dressed as your grandmother? Red: Yes. Wolf: [in flashback] I'm your grandma. Flippers: And you bought that? Red: No. Not really. [cuts flashback] Whoa, what big hands you have! [cut] And what big ears you have! [cut] What bad breath you have! [cut] What big eyes you have! Wolf: [in flashback] Are we just gonna sit around here and talk about how big I'm getting?! Flippers: Yes, yes, and then the fellow with the axe burst in? Red: [waves her hands in a "stop everything" gesture] No! No! Not yet! [everything on-screen except for Red freezes in time, and rewinds; Kirk flies back out the window and the window repairs itself] First, I was attacked by that crazy wolf! [Wolf corners Red in the living room with a fireplace poker; in flashback] Hi-yah! You crazy wolf! [voiceover] Then my granny jumped out of the closet. [Granny bursts out of the closet and emits a battle cry] But she was

Dialogue

Wolf: Don't I get a drink? Chief Grizzly: No! Flippers: So! Mr. Wolf, may I call you Wolf? Wolf: You can call me Sheila. I like long walks and fresh flowers. Chief Grizzly: Quit playing around, Wolf! You're looking at 3 to 5 in an old shoe with no windows, so start singin'! Flippers: [squints and scrutinizes the Wolf] Your face looks familiar! Wolf: I get around the forest. Flippers: What do you do for a living, Mr. Wolf? Wolf: I'm a shepherd. [Stork strikes his hand with his baton] Hey! Red: You might as well confess! I told them everything! Wolf: Will you keep her away from me, please! Flippers: I remember you! Three years ago on the Stiltskin case, you were snooping around for a lead on his real name. Wolf: [nonchalantly] I was close, too. I was going to go with "Greg". Greg Stiltsken. Chief Grizzly: Hang on! Wait a minute, Flippers, you're saying this guy's a cop? Flippers: Worse. He's a reporter. Red: A what?! Wolf: And I've got the real story.

Dialogue

Wolf: [on his tape recorder] No deserts. Waste of time. [hears singing, and sees Red riding her bike nearby, narrating] The little delivery girl in the red hood. Always on the go. More goodies passed through her hands than anybody else in the whole forest. She seemed happy. A little too happy. [as he watches through some bushes, he sees some hummingbirds carry Red and her bike across a stream] Whoa! Creepy! [retreats behind the bushes; continues narrating] I was starting to have my suspicions. [takes out his tape recorder and presses the record button] Question: who does she move the goodies for? Where do they come from? Where are they going? And why the hood? [as he scratches his chin and ponders, Twitchy falls from the sky and lands on a tree stump next to him, causing him to jump] Ah! Twitchy, you scared me. Twitchy: [speaking very quickly] Hey boss, I called the taped-I beeped you on your beeper. Did you get my beep? Wolf: Twitchy, you've gotta calm down. Twitchy: I got up early an

Dialogue

Wolf: How's it goin', Woolworth? Woolworth: Man, what are you doing here?! The shepherd comes by and sees me talkin' to you, I'm gonna get the crook! Wolf: Yeah? Well, there's a bigger crook on the loose that I'm concerned about. What do you hear about the Goody Bandit? Woolworth: What do I know from goodies? [sees Twitchy in a sheep suit] Hiya, Twitchy. Twitchy: Baa! Woolworth: Don't know a thing. Never heard of her. [Wolf slips him some money] Little Red? Processing. Yeah, yeah, it's coming back to me now. Sweet gal. Not like that Bo Peep. That brat put an invisible fence, I tasted metal fillings for a week! Wolf: Focus! The girl in the hood. You get around the mountain. Who does she work for? Woolworth: How should I know? I ain't that curious! [Wolf slips him some more money] It's the family business. Ain't you ever heard of Granny Puckett? Wolf: Puckett? Woolworth: That's her grandma. Wolf: The Granny Puckett? You pullin' the wool over my eyes? Woolworth: [sarcastically] Ha ha, hil

Dialogue

Wolf: Those sheep made me hungry. After this, we're grabbing a bite. Twitchy: Sounds good, sounds good. Caterpillar 1: I don't know what to do. I mean, should I call her? Should I- Caterpillar 2: Well she's keeping her options open. Seeing other people probably, you should do the same. Caterpillar 1: Shh. Up there. Caterpillar 1: Do you mind? Wolf: [embarrassed] Ooh. Sorry. [aims his radar gun back at the cable car's cabin and continues walking, eventually picking up voices] Boingo's voice: Hey, you deliver up this far? Red's voice: [unintelligible due to static] ...but I was thinking of...the Muffin Man...Granny's recipes...an evil plan...to shut down everyone in the forest. Wolf: [lowers his radar] I knew it. She's working for the old lady. Twitchy? Wolf: [deadpan, into tape recorder] Ouch. [as Red discovers a footprint, Twitchy swallows his camera. The extra weight causes him to fall from his branch and snap a through-the-mouth flash photo of Red; facepalms] Ugh. [steps out from his

Dialogue

Twitchy: So can we eat? Wolf: Sure! You hungry for failure? Maybe a side of unemployment? 'Cause that's what's for lunch. Twitchy: Well, what do we do? Wolf: We go right to the source. We've gotta get to Granny's before the kid does. Boingo: [appears] Is it a surprise? Wolf: Excuse me? Boingo: You're going over to Granny's house to surprise Red. I mean, is it her birthday, or what is it? Is there some kind of shim dig, 'cause I'm great at parties! Watch me pull myself out of a hat! [forcefully scratches his right ear against his head] Wolf: Yeah. Big surprise party. You know how to get there? Boingo: Oh, yeah! Yeah! In fact, I know a shortcut. Wolf: [to Twitchy, incredulous] You hear that? He knows a shortcut. Boingo: You go over the woods and through the river...no, you don't wanna go through the river. You'll get all wet. Wolf: You see, Twitchy, you get lemons, you make lemonade. [cuts to Wolf and Twitchy walking in ankle-deep water through a dark tunnel; Twitchy turns on his camera

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Wolf: Now this is a shortcut! Twitchy: What's that? Sounds like an avalanche! Wolf: Well Twitchy, that's natural. It's just Old Man Mountain showing us who's boss. Twitchy: Hey lookie-lookie, I found this box of candles! A big box! Wolf: Box of candles? Light 'em up! [Twitchy lights one, and holds up...a stick of dynamite with a sparking fuse] Wow that's nice and bright. What kind of candles are those? Wolf: [freaking out] AH! Lose the candle! Wolf: You hear something? Twitchy: Hmmm? Wolf: Huh. Come on, let's get to Granny's.

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Wolf: [knocks on door] Hello! Paper boy. Publishers. Uh, candygram! [opens the door, finding it unlocked] Twitchy: Huh, whadda we do, boss? Twitchy: [bored] Oh.... Wolf: [lifts up the mask] Ooh! Boy, that's hot. Okay, change of plans, you can be Granny. Red: [coming from the foyer] Granny? It's me, Red. Is everything okay? Wolf: [pulls down the mask] Oh, oh, yeah, sure thing. Come on in. Chief Grizzly: [offscreen] Pretty thin, Wolf! [cut back to the present day] You say the old lady was already tied up! How did that happen?! Wolf: I don't know, maybe to make herself look innocent. I just write the news, Chief! I don't make it. Red: For a reporter, you sure have a strange way of doing your job. [rolls her eyes] Wolf:: What can I say? I was raised by wolves. Chief Grizzly: You got a way to back this up? Twitchy: [appears] I got these pictures developed, Mr. Flippers! Flippers: That so? Let's have a look... [examines the photos] Hmmm...these are good...Ha... [shows picture of Wolf mounted

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Chief Grizzly: [to Det. Stork about Kirk] This guy's a loon. Det. Stork: Watch it, chief. My mama's half-loon. Flippers: [to Kirk] My, my. You're a big fellow. Shop at the Big and Tall store? Kirk: This is a big and tall mistake! I would not hurt a butterfly! Det. Stork: [slams Kirk's pick axe down in front of him] Then what's this?! A letter opener?! Chief Grizzly: Yeah that's a funny accent you got there, choppy. Kirk: I can do the Cowboy accent. [cowboy accent] "Howdy, partner!" Flippers: Indeed you can. Say, before you ride off into the sunset, you think you could rustle us up some information?

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Kirk: [trying out for a commercial] Arrrgh! Paul's Bunion Cream has the soothing formula... Jimmy Lizard: [interrupts] Whoa, whoa, whoa, no! Hold it, hold it! [music stops] Ho, ho, stop...Look, "Argh"? Kirk: Uh-huh... Jimmy Lizard: What...what are ya, some kinda German pirate or somethin'? Kirk: I just got the script, like, five minutes ago...I'm trying... Jimmy Lizard: Okay, sure, sure, um...you're not gettin' it...

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Kirk: What the schnitzel? My schnitzel truck, it's been... [sputters] They stole everything! Boingo: Oh, that's too bad. [the children part to reveal Boingo, holding Red's carrot crumpet] It's not easy being in the goody business these days, huh? Kirk: I'm getting schnitzeled left and right today! I cannot even sell the bunion cream! Now I'm gonna lose my job! Boingo: Well chin up, mister! Maybe someday, somebody will open up a great big goody shop, and we can all work for that little guy.

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Kirk: Sorry little birds! Turtle: RUN! [he and his mate start inching along with strained necks]

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Flippers: So, you didn't jump through the window, you were pushed. By a tree. Because you were pretending to be a woodsman. To sell foot cream. Kirk: I got the callback! Flippers: And good for you. Suffice to say, our thespian friend here knows the least about anything. Kirk: Exactly! What does that mean? Chief Grizzly: That it all points to Granny.

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[beginning to tell her story] It's true, I'm not like other grannies. I never did like the quilting bees and the bingo parlors. I'd rather live life to the extreme!

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Granny: A trip up the mountain is too dangerous for a little girl. Red: I'm not so little anymore! Granny: Please, dear, you just keep the recipes there and everything will be fine. Red: But- Granny: I have to go now. My program's on. Kisses. [blows air kisses and hangs up. The camera pulls back to show Granny is holding ski poles and wearing skis] Time to shred some powder!

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P-Biggie: Yo, Triple-G! What's up, baby? 2-Tone: Granny! What's happening? Granny: What up, my homies?

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Granny: Ooh, almost forgot. I made you kids some snicker-doodles. 2-Tone: Yo! P-Biggie: Tight! Oh yeah, snicker-doodles, snicker-doodles! Give it up, give it up! 2-Tone: Gimme one of those! Zorra: Yeah, snicker-doodles. Those are my favorite. 2-Tone: Snickadeedoo!

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Granny: Well, what's your name? Boingo: Umm...just put, "To my biggest and cutest fan, Boingo." And then, like, put some X's and O's and a little smiley face.

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Vincent: Oh, yeah. Dolph: You be careful, Granny Puckett! Old ladies get hurt on these slopes! Granny: Bring it, honey.

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Granny: Who do you work for?! Dolph: I. Can't. Tell you that! Granny: Young man, you tell me this instant! Dolph: All right! [sniffles] We were hired by the bandit! Granny: Who is the bandit?! Dolph: [pulls out his walkie-talkie and calls his boss] Granny is finished. Now we go after the little red-hooded girl. Granny: [upon overhearing the conversation] Red!

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Granny: Honey, don't look at your granny like that. Red: I'm sorry, I thought you were Triple G! Or are you the bandit? Det. Stork: Awkward! [awkwardly side slips his way out of the room] Granny: You're being ridiculous, Red. Red: I'm being ridiculous?! You're off living...La Vida Loca, risking your life for some dumb thrills! And I'm supposed to stay home and be your happy little delivery girl?! Tommy: I have a... Flippers: Coffee break, anyone? Chief Grizzly: Uh, yeah. Det. Stork: Who's got my keys? Raccoon Jerry: You think Granny would mind if I went through her garbage? Chief Grizzly: Excuse us. Granny: I thought you were happy. Red: Open your eyes. I've never even been outside of the forest. Don't you think I'd want more than that? Granny: Of course you do. You're a Puckett. Red: [sighs] I don't know what that means anymore. [takes off her red hood, drops it on the floor, and leaves the room]

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Red: Huh, what's this? Granny: Oh, it says "World's Greatest Grandma." Red: Grandma, I can read. It says "Battle of the Iron Cage Gladiators." Granny: [hiding her true nature] If there's two things I don't do, it's lie, and play extreme sports.

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Flippers: It would seem that all of you came together tonight by mistake. [walks past dog typing notes] Maybe you naughty neighbors butted heads so we could get to the real truth. Wolf: The Goody Bandit? Flippers: That's right. The Bandit's still at large. There's been a lot of finger pointing tonight, but now all fingers point to the Bandit. Kirk: Not my finger! [quickly puts index finger in mouth and starts sucking it] Flippers: Oh no, you were just out damaging forest property, cutting down the redwoods we all call home. [Kirk starts spluttering] Big guy like you, you could probably take whatever you want from little goody-loving creatures, couldn't you? Kirk: But someone robbed me! Have we lost track of that? Flippers: That's right, someone did. Maybe a snack food competitor. Right, Granny? Granny: Now hold on a pea-picking minute! I may lead a double life full of secrets and deception, but that's no reason to be suspicious. Kirk: Huh? Flippers: A woman like you could have a lot to

Dialogue

Bill: Are you saying that Little Red is the Bandit?! Granny: Not my Red! Flippers: Calm down there, Triple G. The only thing your granddaughter is guilty of is flying a swarm of hummingbirds without a license. It would seem there is another player in this game. Someone who's hippity-hopped his way through all your stories. Yes, there's someone else. The only one who was with Red when she fell. Who knew a shortcut to Granny's. Who fraternizes with evil ski teams. And someone who was there when the schnitzel truck was schnitzelled. Granny: [gasp] Not the bunny! Wolf: I knew it! Never trust a bunny! Twitchy: Never trust a bunny!

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Wolf: I can't believe I'm sayin' this, but...drink up. [gives Twitchy a full coffee mug] We may want...to stand back. Twitchy: [sips the coffee. Seconds later, the sugar rush activates and he starts shaking wildly] YEE-HOO-HOO-HOO!!! WA-HOOOOO!!! CAFFEINE!!! YEAH, BABY!!! WHOOOOOOAAAAA!!!! Wolf: Go get 'em, boy. [plucks the mug out of the air. Twitchy ricochets off several trees like a pinball, laughing maniacally, and then speeds away over the hill, so fast that he kicks up a long trail of dust behind him] What...have I done? Granny: Now the rest is up to us! Kirk: [sniffs] Can I have coffee?

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Dolph: I don't like it. The cops are all over the place. Boingo: Forget about the cops! We've got everything we need right here! Dolph: What about the old lady? She's alive. She'll be back. Boingo: You just don't get it, do you, Dolph? I'm done! I'm done dancing for the man - The Muffin Man! And Granny! They can both take a hike! I'm never gonna answer to anyone ever again! [bursts out wailing, then cackles, then cries, all in a matter of seconds, then immediately sobers up] Oh! I just love my job! [he and Dolph start walking down the loading ramp] You see how it works, Dolph? You prioritize, you set your goals, you write a mission statement. You ask yourself, "Where do I see me in 5 years?" Red: [from behind] How about behind bars? Boingo: [freezes, turns, and sees Red standing at the bottom of the ramp, glaring at him] Red! Oh! Hey, Red! What are you-? You've spoiled the surprise! Red: You're the bandit! Boingo: [pause, looks at Lesa and Vincent, then back at Red] Surprise! Red: I'm

Dialogue

Boingo: [explaining his evil plan to Red] I'm gonna need a lot of real estate down the mountain, so I've gotta blow the competition away. Oh, and that's not a metaphor. We've literally got to blow them away. Okay? Red: [sarcastically] Yeah, I got it.

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Granny: Sweet tea and cookies! We've got to do something! Wolf: I know. The song was catchy, but the choreography was terrible.

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Flippers: Who taught you how to drive? Chief Grizzly: Almost hit a squirrel!

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Det. Stork: What is it, boy? Truck? Trouble at the mill? Is the barn on fire? The barn's on fire! The well! Timmy's stuck in the well! Chief Grizzly: Wait! It's like he's speaking...words of some kind.

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Boingo: Hey, you're a delivery girl, right? Then could you do me a favor? Could you take this down the mountain? 'Cause it absolutely, positively has to be there tonight! [Red struggles through her gag] I'm sorry, what? I can't quite - with the - you've got something right there across your mouth! [laughs evilly and locks the doors as Red still muffle-yells through her gag] Wolf: You're an actor, right? So this is your big part. This is the role of a lifetime. Make them believe in you. Don't act like an evil henchman; be an evil henchman. Okay, you got it and you remember what you're gonna say, right? Kirk: Right! [inside the cave, Boingo is just securing the cabin doors with a padlock when...] Uh, Mr. Rabbit? Boingo: [turns to Kirk] Dolph! Where have you been?! You dimwitted Eurotrash with the, what is that, a ski mask? Kirk: Uh, I, um, ja... Boingo: I like that! See, that's scary. Yeah that's good. [turns his focus back to Red] Kirk: Um, b-boss... Boingo: [exploding with impatience]

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[recorded slow normal voice] The criminal you are looking for cannot be found at the bottom of the mountain; he resides at the top in a cave fortress where my companions are trying to detain him.

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Boingo: No no no no no, not prison! Twitchy: Say parchessi! [takes a picture of Boingo] Boingo: [while being taking away to prison] NOT PRISON! NOT FOR A CUTE LITTLE BUNNY RABBIT!

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Granny: I guess I must have had my eyes shut pretty tight, not to see how fast you were growing up. You were really somethin' up there. Red: [smiles] I take after my Granny. Wolf: [waving] Hey, Red! Kirk: [holding the recovered recipes] Hello, everybody! Look, we got the book! [accidentally crashed down another tree with his truck, and the tree falls and crushed the porcupine's another car]

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[to the reporters] Let's just say that if a tree falls in the forest, you'll get three stories: yours, mine, and the tree's.

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Wolf: So, how 'bout that new delivery system? Red: Well, it beats riding a bike, that's for sure. Japeth: [singing] Oh I've got horns to hold the muffins, and I've got horns to hold the pies.... Red: Hey, did you hear about Kirk? He finally made it. [holds out an album with Kirk's image on the cover, with the title "The Happy Yodelers - The Sound of Munich"] Hey, wanna come see the show with us? Wolf: I'm allergic to yodeling. Granny: Now, Wolfie. Red: Mr. Flippers! Flippers: I see you all got my message. Glad you could make it. Granny: What's going on? Flippers: Well, I was wondering if you'd like to come and work for me? I could use some fresh talent like you. Wolf: What kind of work are we talking about? Flippers: You'd be undercover, on impossible missions, to far away places. [hands a business card to Red] There's a lot of stories out there that need a happy ending. I'm part of a secret organization that makes sure that happens. Red: "Happily Ever After Agency"? Flippers: The wood