Quotes

Opening narration

[season one monologue/opening] What if you could find brand new worlds right here on Earth? Where anything is possible. Same planet, different dimension. I've found the gateway.

Pilot [1.1]

The answer to the question is U-4, not U2, Mr. Bennish! [pointing to Conrad Bennish, Jr., who was listening to noisy music without paying any attention to the class].

Pilot [1.1]

Jesus, Mary and Joseph! I think I've just seen God and I could've sworn he was driving a Cadilac!

Pilot [1.1]

Always a leader of men, no matter what the circumstances.

Pilot [1.1]

This guy, Q-ball, he’s got this, like, gizmo, which sucked up my Caddie into a worm-hole — that’s this kinda freaked-out limbo land that sits between Earth’s One, Two and Three. So when we got to Earth Two, this big, albino tornado, man, came hammering down on us...

Fever [1.2]

Biology is for those who don't have the maths for real science.

Last Days [1.3]

Mr. Bennish, if we survive this I will devote my life to finding the gene that makes you so obnoxious and I will destroy it!

Last Days [1.3]

Prof. Maximilian Arturo: Mr. Bennish, appalling as this thought may be, you and I are going to be spending a lot of time together. Conrad Bennish, Jr.: No way, chief! I've got a girlfriend. Prof. Maximilian Arturo: Don't be an idiot! You and I are going to make an atom bomb.

Last Days [1.3]

Around the globe, the world braced for the apocalypse with an unprecedented show of peace and amity. In Belfast, Ireland, Catholics and Protestants shared a morning of prayer [footage of both groups praying together]. Elsewhere, in Bosnia-Herzegovina, the six-month truce between Serbs and Muslims continued to hold [footage of both groups hanging along]. Not so in the occupied West Bank, however, where Israelis and Palestinians greeted the second-to-last day with renewed violence [footage of both groups fighting each other].

Last Days [1.3]

Anybody messes with us now... ...boom!

The Prince of Wails [1.4]

The reason the sun never sets on the British Empire is because God doesn't trust the British in the dark.

The Prince of Wails [1.4]

The Prince: And James Brown is hearby acknowledged as the Godfather of Soul. Prince and Rebel Leader: [together] Who's James Brown?

Summer of Love [1.5]

Quinn Mallory: [pointing at the recurring character of his usually long haired, sunglasses wearing college friend, whose double in this world is a business suit wearing Republican] Look, Professor, it's Bennish. Prof. Maximilian Arturo: My God. And I can actually see his ears.

Eggheads [1.6]

Rembrandt "Crying Man" Brown: How much did he win by? Wade Welles: I don't know. What difference does it make? Rembrandt "Crying Man" Brown: It makes a big difference, girl! I got Harvard plugged to points! Wade Welles: You bet on a game that you don't understand? Wade Welles: You are an idiot!

Eggheads [1.6]

The Gambler: If you won't do it you'll be MORAS MAXIMA. Quinn Mallory: What?! The Gambler: MORAS, MORTIS, DEAD!!!

Eggheads [1.6]

FBI Agent: What did he say? Gambler: "So long suckers!"

The King is Back [1.8]

[after being mistaken for Luciano Pavarotti several times] I am not Mr. Pavarotti! Mr. Pavarotti is an Italian. He speaka likea this. Do I speaka likea this? No. Why? Because I am an Englishman, you blistering idiot!

Opening narration

What if you could travel to parallel worlds? The same year, the same Earth, only different dimensions. A world where the Russians rule America... or where your dreams of being superstar came true... or where San Francisco was a maximum-security prison. My friends and I found the gateway. Now the problem is... finding a way back home.

Time Again and World [2.6]

The idea of freedom is born with every generation. Only one created the US constitution.

Dragonslide [3.7]

That which is beautiful is not always good, but that which is good is always beautiful.

The Fire Within [3.8]

Quinn: This is newsprint. How do you divide? Fire: I have never divided. Quinn: You stay connected with the other flames? Fire: I am always one. What they know, I know. Quinn: Alright, this is wood and graphite. Fire: Oh I like wood... Quinn: Listen, there's something important I have to talk about. Fire: Yes? Quinn: Very soon, we might be leaving this place and we might have to take you with us. Fire: I like it here. There is much to burn. Quinn: If you stay, they will try and destroy you every time you feed. If you survive, you'll only do so by destroying things that we humans care about, and hurting people like me. And one day, all the food will be gone. Fire: I have decided I will go back where you found me. Quinn: I'm sorry, I don't know how to get you there. Fire: I do. Quinn: Oh, you do. I wish you could tell me how to get home. Fire: Home? Quinn: It's a place where we'd like to go someday. It's where we started. Fire: Where you like to burn? Quinn: Sort of. Fire: If you release

This Slide of Paradise

Not without me! [Rickman jumps for the wormhole, but it closes and he falls screaming to his death at the bottom of the cliff]

Genesis [4.1]

I have a brother!

Genesis [4.1]

[to Earth Prime just before he leaves] We'll be back! You can count on it!

Just Say Yes [4.7]

Colin: Umm, Delicious. Maggie: You don't like them. Colin: I do. Maggie: Colin, you be honest with me. Colin: But you worked so hard on them, I wouldn't want to hurt your feelings. Maggie: I don't think you could, (shows her "Infuser", a medication dispenser that most on the world they're in are using) not while i'm wearing this thing. Colin: Oh, I keep forgetting, another benefit of pharmacotherapy, well in that case, these are the worst cookies i've ever tasted!

The Alternateville Horror [4.8]

Matthew: Mom, don't cry, Colin said his brother's gonna get out out of here. Quinn "Howling Man" Mallory: Well, he bloody well better, (holding up the timer) 'cause we've got your little timer, see, and brainiac told us that if you don't get it back before the numbers run down, you're gonna be right up it! (a la Austin Powers) YEAH, baby! Alt-Rembrandt: Sorry, who thought he was paying attention.

Lipsitz Live! [4.12]

Quinn Mallory: [trying to reclaim the audience's interest] Did I mention that I met my female double? Barry Lipsitz: Oh! Did you have sex with her?!

The Unstuck Man

The first step is easy. It's the last one you gotta look out for.

Map of the Mind

Rembrandt Brown: Now if I could just find a neurosurgeon my day would be complete. Malcolm: Wait! [Rembrandt stops and looks at him] I'm a neurosurgeon. [Rembrandt looks at him doubtfully] Honest!

Map of the Mind

Rembrandt Brown: I've brought some help. Mallory: He plays a fiddle with no strings! Rembrandt Brown: Well he's also Doctor Malcolm White, creator of that device. [referring to the remapping device]

To Catch a Slider [5.15]

[To Maggie and Mallory] What do either of you know about knocking over a jewelry store anyway?

The Seer [5.18]

[last line of the series] What do we do now?

Unidentified episodes

Looks, brains, and he knows how to cook.

Unidentified episodes

Soft landing there, hard path here and where do we land, unfailingly.