My Spy

JJ: What do you do for a living? Sophie: [hooked up to the lie detector] I'm a KGB agent posing as a 4th grader. My brother has three legs and sells crack, and my mother is a prostitute. JJ: [turns off the lie detector] I don't need a machine to tell me if someone's lying. Sophie: Yeah? JJ: [pulls Sophie's chair] Yeah. I can smell a lie.

My Spy, CC BY-SA 4.0

Sophie: Mom, Mom... No! Wait... Oh my god! Kate: Let go of my daughter! Give me my phone. I'm calling the police. Sophie: Mom, you don't understand. I ignored your rules and went to the park. There were two jerks from school that pushed me down and it really hurt. JJ saw it. He lives upstairs. He recognized me from the building and calmly talked to the boys and told them what they did was wrong then got me ice cream to make me feel better and walked me home! Kate: Oh. I. um. I'm sorry. This is my kid. Can I just help you? JJ: No. it's okay. I'm good. I'm just gonna head home and gather my thoughts. Really, I'm fine. Excuse me.

My Spy, CC BY-SA 4.0

Bobbi: [hears JJ enter the room] How was your day? JJ: It was good. Yours? Bobbi: Fine. JJ: Something wrong? Bobbi: No. JJ: Are you sure? 'Cause it seems like something might be bothering you. Bobbi: You helped train her how to pass a lie detector, but not me. I mean, I don't wanna be ageist here, JJ, but she is 9. She still sleeps with a night-light. I'm a professional hacker with a Master's degree in English! JJ: We just spent a little time together. I wasn't teaching her anything. Bobbi: Oh, well, you taught her how to place shaped charges! [shows footage] JJ: It was just Play-Doh. Bobbi: That's not the point. JJ: Should I get you some Play-Doh? Bobbi: I can get my own Play-Doh. JJ: Are you sure? Because I'd be happy to get you some. Bobbi: Don't you make this about the Play-Doh. This is about us! We're partners! JJ: I already told you: you are not my partner. [Bobbi walks out] Hey! Did you make dinner? Bobbi: [walks back in] Let me just hop right on that. [blinks angrily, then walk

My Spy, CC BY-SA 4.0

Kate: We're out of olive oil JJ: There's a new bottle in the back behind the mustard. [Kate and Sophie looks at JJ] I'd... bet. Kate: Thanks.

My Spy, CC BY-SA 4.0

Sophie: Uncle Victor, why are you doing this? Victor: You're my insurance. And don't call me "uncle". Your father and I hated each other. I'm not your family. Sophie: I wanna go home! Take me back! Victor: SHUT UP! Not another word!

My Spy, CC BY-SA 4.0