Cougar Town

Jules: You can't wear fake nails on just one hand, it makes you look like a crazy whore! Laurie: I only had four left and this is the hand I smoke with!

Cougar Town, CC BY-SA 4.0

Josh: What's that scar from? Jules: I got knifed as a kid. Josh: Really? Jules: No, that's from my c-section!

Cougar Town, CC BY-SA 4.0

Jules: You know, I've seen the parade of girls you've brought home, tagged, and released. No matter how young they are, you don't seem the least bit self-conscious about your age. Grayson: It's cause I'm not. Jules: Show me how to do that. Grayson: Can't. When women get older, it's icky. When men get older, it's adorable. It's my favorite double standard. Jules: Me, not so much.

Cougar Town, CC BY-SA 4.0

Ellie: It's your turn, best war story from your twenties. Jules: Once when I was 22, I had a baby and I stayed home by myself raising him for the rest of my twenties. The end. Andy: Boo!

Cougar Town, CC BY-SA 4.0

Jules: Ah, if I'm going to get waxed, I'll need to tidy the den before the maid comes Ellie: Oh, yeah. Laurie: Wait, what the hell does that mean? Ellie: Oh that means Jules is so crazy that she has to give herself a trim before she gets waxes so her waxer doesn't think she's a cavewoman.

Cougar Town, CC BY-SA 4.0

Jules: You never go all out for a guy? Laurie: If I really like a guy I'll stop texting while I do him. Ellie: I wish you were my daughter.

Cougar Town, CC BY-SA 4.0