Quotes

Dialogue

Farmer: The government gave us each one hundred and sixty acres. George Washington McLintock: The government never gave anybody anything. You make these homesteads go, you'll have earned every acre of it. You just can't make 'em go on the Mesa Verde! God made that land fer buffalo. Serves pretty well for cattle. But it hates the plow! And even the government should know that you can't farm six thousand feet above sea level.

Dialogue

Drago: Boss, what's "reactionary" mean? George Washington McLintock: I guess he says that anyone who sells at a profit is a reactionary

Dialogue

Devlin: I am just a hired hand around here George Washington McLintock: Every so often Dev, you spell the strangest ideas. Everybody works for somebody. I work for everybody in these United States that steps into a butcher shop for a T-Bone steak and you work for me, it is not much difference

Dialogue

Drago: I'm sorry Katherine - that Katie just slipped out from times when I remember you as being nice people... Katherine McLintock: Are you going to stand there with that stupid look on your face while the hired help insults your wife? George Washington McLintock: He can't help it - he's just ignorant. He doesn't know any better than to tell the truth. And I can't help this stupid look. I started acquiring it as you gained in social prominence!

Dialogue

George Washington McLintock: [through gritted teeth after knocking Jones down] Now, we'll all calm down! Drago: Boss, he's just a little excited. George Washington McLintock: I know, I know. I'm gonna use good judgement. I haven't lost my temper in forty years, but pilgrim you caused a lot of trouble this morning, might have got somebody killed... and somebody oughta belt you in the mouth. But I won't, I won't. The hell I won't! [belts Jones in the mouth]

Dialogue

Katherine McClintock: [after walking out of her bedroom to find G.W. and Mrs. Warren at the bottom of the stairs] What's going on here? George Washington McLintock: [Intoxicated, with Mrs. Warren sitting on his lap] Now Katherine, are you going to believe what you see, or what I tell you?

Dialogue

George Washington McLintock: [McLintock and his family are standing on the porch looking up at Ching the cook. Ching is standing there with a rather large meat cleaver] Well you old Cantonese reprobate, how 'bout it? Ching: Ya fire me? I kill myself! George Washington McLintock: I'm not talkin' about firing you I'm RETIRING you! You've been rustlin' food for us for forty years! We're gonna put you out to pasture. All you'll have to do is give advice, be one of the family! Ching: I kill myself! George Washington McLintock: I may save you the trouble. Drago: Hey Ching, you kill yourself, I'll cut of your pigtail and y'ain't never gonna get to Heaven! Ching: I'll be one of the family? George Washington McLintock: I give you my solemn word. Ching: Pretty crummy family! Drinkee too muchee! Get in fight! Yell alla time! George Washington McLintock: [Gestures at Drago] Cut off his pigtail! Ching: ALRIGHT, I BE ONE OF THE FAMILY!

Dialogue

Becky McLintock: You are my father and if you do love me you will shoot him! George Washington McLintock: I'm your father and I sure love you. [grabs a pistol from his cabinet and shoots Devlin] Becky McLintock: You shot him! You really shot him! If he dies... George Washington McLintock: [Interrupts Becky] If he dies he will be the first man killed with a blank cartridge . We use this to start the races on the fourth. Becky McLintock: [to Devlin] You poor dear. Devlin Warren: Poor dear? You would've had me shot down in cold blood! Yelling I insulted you an all. What you need is a good spanking. Becky McLintock: Daddy? George Washington McLintock: Leave me out of this. Devlin Warren: And I think I'll give you what you deserve. Becky McLintock: You wouldn' dare!

Dialogue

George Washington McLintock: I saw your picture in the paper at the Governor's Ball. You were dancing with the governor. Katherine McClintock: At least he's a gentleman. George Washington McLintock: I doubt that. You have to be a man first before you're a gentleman. He misses on both counts.

Dialogue

Drago: That divorce business. Is that whatcha get when you paya woman not to live with ya? George Washington McLintock: That's about it. Drago: Some women I know'd be worth it.