Coming to America

Landlord: [brusque] Okay, now what the fuck do you want? Prince Akeem: We desire a room. Landlord: [angered] Look, you better not be wasting my time. You got money? [Semmi holds up a large clip of money; landlord becomes cheerful] Come on in, gentlemen. Landlord: Excuse me, if I was brusque, but sometimes we get booboos in here without a dollar to their name. You boys obviously came in on another boat. Prince Akeem: We seek meager accommodations. Landlord: Excuse me? Prince Akeem: We require a room that is very poor. [Man tumbles down stairwell] Landlord: Hey Stu, your rent is due, motherfucker! And don't be pulling that falling down the stairs shit on me y'hear, are you conscious!? Landlord: All right, there is only one bathroom on this floor, so you will have to share it. [Gives brief tour of bathroom, which is festering with bugs] Got a bit of an insect problem, but you boys from Africa are used to that. Also, whatever you do, do not use the elevator; it is a death trap. [Approaches

Coming to America, CC BY-SA 4.0

Akeem: Behold, Semmi. Life. Real life! A thing that we have been denied for far too long! [shouts] Good morning, my neighbors! Neighbor: Hey, fuck you! Akeem: Yes, yes. Fuck you too!

Coming to America, CC BY-SA 4.0

Darryl: [sarcastically] So, what do you people play in Africa? Chase the monkey? Akeem: No, our favorite game there is football, but I believe you call it [Patrice rubs him] SOCCER!!!

Coming to America, CC BY-SA 4.0

Clarence: You must be out your goddamn mind! Joe Louis, the greatest boxer that ever lived. [to Akeem and Semmi] I'll be with you boys in a minute. He was badder than Cassius Clay, he was badder than Sugar Ray, and that new boy-what's his name? Mike Tyson?-looks like a bulldog; he was badder than him, too. He could whoop Mike Tyson's ass! He could whoop all of they ass! Saul: Vait a minute. Vat about Rocky Marciano? Clarence: Oh, there they go. There they go, every time I start talkin' 'bout boxing, a white man got to pull Rocky Marciano out they ass. That's their one, that's their one. Rocky Marciano! Rocky Marciano! Let me tell you something, once and for all-Rocky Marciano was good; but compared to Joe Louis, Rocky Marciano ain't shit. Saul: He beat Joe Louis' ass. Morris: That's right, he did whoop Joe Louis' ass. Clarence: Joe Louis was 75 years old when they fought. Morris: I don't know how old he was, but he got his ass whooped. Clarence: Joe Louis had come out of retirement to

Coming to America, CC BY-SA 4.0

Lisa McDowell: He said he had to leave. Cleo McDowell: Well, he can't leave! Lisa: What is going on? And why have you become nice to Akeem all of a sudden? Cleo: I like the boy! Lisa: What are you up to? Cleo: What? Nothing. I mean, a man has got a right to change his mind, doesn't he? Lisa: Daddy... Cleo: You know, you two could make a beautiful couple. Lisa: Daddy... Cleo: He's a real fine young man. Lisa: [Snaps] Dad! Cleo: [Excited] Okay, Lisa. He's rich. He is rich! Lisa: What?! Cleo: He got his own money and, baby, when I tell you he's got his own money, I mean the boy has gotten his own money! [Hands Lisa a 100 Zamunda pound note] A prince. He's a prince! Oh, Lisa, you did it this time. You hit the jackpot. Your little goat herder makes Darryl look like a welfare case!

Coming to America, CC BY-SA 4.0

Queen Aoleon: Are you all right, my dear? Lisa McDowell: No, it's just that...I got to get out of here. Queen: [after Lisa leaves] What did you say to her? King Jaffe Joffer: I told her the truth, that Akeem cannot be interested in her. Queen: How can you be so sure? King: Oh, come now. Our son cannot consort with such a girl. Cleo McDowell: Now, wait a minute! King: Oha. I know you have been inconvenienced and I am prepared to compensate you. Shall we say, one million American dollars? [Oha writes in checkbook] Cleo: No way. King: [to Oha] Very well, then, two million. Cleo: You don't have enough money to buy my daughter off. [tears away the check Oha's writing on] King: Nonsense. Queen: Jaffe, apologize to Mr. McDowell. King: I will do no such thing. The man is beneath me and so is his daughter. Cleo: [agitated]I don't give a damn who you are. This is America, Jack. Now, you say one more word about Lisa, and I'll break my foot off in your royal ass! King: Pardon me?

Coming to America, CC BY-SA 4.0