Quotes

Dialogue

Prince Charming: [his first words; narrating in his smoking, romantic, luscious, lustrous, regal, soothing and sexy voice] Once upon a time in a kingdom far, far away, the King and Queen were blessed with a beautiful baby girl, and throughout the land, everyone was happy...until the sun went down, and they saw that their daughter was cursed with a frightful enchantment that took hold each and every night. Desperate, they sought the help of a fairy godmother who had them lock the young princess away in a tower, there to await the kiss of the handsome Prince Charming! [the scene shows a tall, slightly muscular Prince Charming in a cuirass and armor with a Red cape riding on his white horse] It was he who would chance the perilous journey through blistering cold and scorching desert, traveling for many days and nights, risking life and limb to reach the Dragon's Keep. [he rides through a forest, snowy mountains and barren desert for several days, arrives at the Dragon's Keep, an ominous c

Dialogue

Shrek: It's so good to be home! Just you and me and... Donkey: Two can be as bad as one... Shrek: Donkey? Donkey: Shrek! Fiona! Aren't you two a sight for sore eyes! Give us a hug, Shrek, you old love machine. And look at you, Mrs. Shrek. How 'bout a side of sugar for the steed? Shrek: Donkey, what are you doing here? Donkey: Oh, I was just taking care of your love nest for you! Shrek: Oh, you mean like sorting the mail and watering the plants? Donkey: Yeah, and feeding the fish! Shrek: I don't have any fish. Donkey: You do now. I call that one Shrek and the other Fiona. That Shrek is a rascally devil. Get your... [mumbling to the "fish"] Shrek: Oh, will you look at the time? I guess you'd better be going. Donkey: Don't you wanna tell me all about your trip? Or how about a game of Parcheesi? Fiona: Actually, Donkey, shouldn't you be getting home to Dragon? Donkey: Oh, yeah, that. I don't know. She's been all moody and stuff lately. So I thought I'd move back in with you guys! Fiona: We

Dialogue

Messenger: [swats Reggie with the scroll] Enough, Reggie. [unfolds the scroll] "Dearest, Princess Fiona. You are hereby summoned to the Kingdom of Far, Far Away for a royal ball in celebration of your marriage, at which time the King will bestow his royal blessing upon you [looks up to see Shrek] and your... uh... Prince Charming. Love, the King and Queen of Far, Far Away. [closes the scroll] aka, Mom and Dad." Fiona: Mom and Dad? Shrek: Prince Charming? Donkey: [heads outside] Royal ball?! Can I come? Shrek: We're not going. Fiona and Donkey: [shocked] What? Shrek: I mean, don't you think they might be a bit... shocked to see you like this? Fiona: Well, they might be a bit surprised. But they're my parents, Shrek. They love me. And don't worry, they're gonna love you, too. Shrek: Yeah, right. Somehow, I don't think I'll be welcome at the country club. Fiona: Will you stop it? They're not like that. Shrek: Then how do you explain Sergeant Pompous and the Fancy Pants Club Band? Fiona: O

Far Far Away Idol

Simon Cowell: You're on fire, Donkey. Shrek: No, you're really on fire! Simon Cowell: Come on, get real, Pinocchio. Shrek: I find his performance quite wooden, actually. [laughs] Wooden. Simon Cowell: [as Fiona plants a floor trap on Prince Charming while Shrek holds the red button] That's the artist formally known as Prince Charming. Fiona: [watching Gingy & Tinker Bell dance and form a tune to The Archies "Sugar"] They're so sweet together. Simon Cowell: I just knew you'd say that, Fiona. [groans] What's next, a singing donut? Simon Cowell: The cat's got my tongue, and possibly my vote. [notices Shrek and Fiona are not in their seats] Ugh. Always breaking the rules! Simon Cowell: And the next Far, Far Away Idol is...<br>[selecting Pinocchio] No, you got to be joking.<br>[selecting Doris] Sorry, that is complete rubbish.<br>[selecting Big Bad Wolf] Impossible, I won't allow it!<br>[selecting Prince Charming] Please, I don't think so!<br>[selecting Three Blind Mice] Sorry, I'm afraid y