Taxi

Elaine: 'Scuse me. My name's Elaine Nardo. They told me to ask for Louie. Louie: Yes, ma'am, I'm Louis De Palma. I hope there's no trouble. If there is, I'll be glad to help in any way I can. Elaine: No, no, it's just that they told me I'd be starting work today as a driver. Oh, here's my hack license. Louie: You're a cab driver? Elaine: Uh-huh. Louie: Whaddaya mean bustin' my chops here makin' believe you're a regular person?

Taxi (TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0

Elaine: [on first meeting Alex] I'm only going to be working here part-time. I'm not really a taxi driver. Alex: Oh yeah, I know. We're all part-time here. You see that guy over there? Now, he's an actor. The guy on the phone, he's a prize fighter. This lady over here, she's a beautician. The man behind her, he's a writer. Me? I'm a cab driver. I'm the only cab driver in this place.

Taxi (TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0

Louie: Hey, hey, ya wanna great tip? Here it is: Never pick up a cripple. Elaine: Louie! That is the rottenest thing I ever heard. Y'know, I'm not even gonna bother to tell you why, but first of all, you don't call them "cripples," you call them "handicapped persons." Louie: You're right. I'm embarrassed. Okay, John, forget what I said. The people you should never pick up are handicapped persons. The reason is in the time it takes you to help one of them in and out of your cab, you could pick up maybe ten guys who could get in and out all by themselves. So, no handicapped persons. Cabs are only for people who can walk. Alex: You have to forgive Louie, he's himself today.

Taxi (TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0

Tony: Maybe I won't be the first guy to make it out of the garage, but I'm gonna make it. I'm gonna get a rematch with this guy, and I'm gonna be right back here fightin'! Alex: And I'm gonna be right back here managing you. Bobby: And I'm gonna be right here rootin' for ya. Elaine: And I'm gonna be here. John: And I'm gonna be here. Louie: And I'm gonna be here... makin' a fortune.

Taxi (TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0

Tony: Angela? From your answering service? Oh, she's a peach. One night she and I discussed my boxing career. Y'know, we never even met, and still we must have talked for around five minutes. Louie: That's longer than most of your fights last.

Taxi (TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0

Elaine: I mean, I can't believe you. You wouldn't go out with a woman if she wasn't good looking? Bobby: Sure I would... if I was real drunk or somethin'. Tony: Hey, c'mon, Elaine. Looks matter to women, too. How popular are short, pudgy, ugly men? Bobby: Yeah, how popular, Louie? Louie: Y'know, Bobby, I hope someone slams a door on your nose and you sneeze and your head explodes.

Taxi (TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0