Quotes

Dialogue

Fan: [about Bluntman and Chronic] I love these guys! You know what? they're like Bill and Ted meet... Cheech and Chong! Holden: Yeah... I kinda like to think of them as Rosencrantz and Guildenstern meet Vladimir and Estragon. Fan: Yes! [pause] Who?

Dialogue

Collector: So, you draw this comic, or what? Banky: [sighs] I ink it. I'm also the colorist. The guy next to me draws it, but we both came up with the characters. Next. Collector: What's that mean, you "ink" it? Banky: Well, it means that Holden draws the pictures in pencil, and then he gives it to me to go over in ink. Next! Collector: So, basically, you just trace. Banky: [annoyed] It's not "tracing", alright? I add depth and shading to give the image more definition. Only then does the drawing truly take shape. Collector: No, no. You go over what he draws with a pen. That's tracing. Banky: [getting angry] Not really. Next! Collector: Hey, lemme ask you something. If somebody draws something, and you draw, like, right on top of it without going outside the original designated art, what do you call that? Little Kid: I dunno, man...tracing? Collector: [triumphantly] See? Banky: You want your book signed or what? Collector: Hey, hey! Don't get snippy with him just because you've got a p

Dialogue

Hooper: For years in this industry, whenever an African American character, hero or villain, was introduced - usually by white artists and writers - they got slapped with racist names that singled them out as Negroes. Now, my book, "White-Hating Coon," don't have none of that bullshit. The hero's name is Maleekwa, and he's descended from the black tribe that established the first society on the planet, while all you European motherfuckers were hiding out in caves and shit, all terrified of the sun. He's a strong role model that a young black reader can look up to. Cause I'm here to tell you, the chickens is coming home to roost, y'all. The black man's no longer gonna play the minstrel in the realm of comics and sci-fi fantasy. We keepin' it real, and we gonna get respect by any means necessary. Holden: Ah, come on, that's a bunch of horse shit! Lando Calrissian was a black guy. You know, and he got to fly the Millennium Falcon, what's the matter with you? Hooper: Who said that? Holden:

Dialogue

Holden: How do you manage to get away with this all the time? I mean, shouldn't the cops be busting your head open right about now? Banky: Wrong coast.

Dialogue

Hooper: I need to sell the image to sell the book. I mean, would the audience still buy the whole black rage angle if they found out the book was written by a... you know... Banky: Faggot? Hooper: When you say it, it sounds so sexy. [kisses Banky, who pushes him off] Banky: Hey, hey, hey! I'll play your victim, but not your catcher, all right?

Dialogue

Holden: Sorry about him, he's, uh, he's dealing with being an inker. Alyssa: [sympathetically, to Banky] Aww... you trace.

Dialogue

Alyssa: [About Banky's argument with his grade school religion teacher] How bad could it have been? Holden: Put it this way: have you ever heard a nun call an eight year-old boy a fucking cunt rag?

Dialogue

Holden: So, uh, what do you wanna do tonight? Banky: I dunno. Get a pizza, watch Degrassi Jr. High. Holden: You got a weird thing for Canadian melodrama. Banky: I got a weird thing for girls who say, "Aboot".

Dialogue

Banky: I just have to get something. Holden: Oh my God. Who are you, Larry fucking Flynt? What are you going to do with all of those? Banky: Read the articles. What do you think I'm going to do with them? They're stroke books, stupid! Holden: You've got like thirty books there! We're only going to be gone for two days! Banky: Variety's the spice of life. I like a wide selection. Sometimes I'm in the mood for nasty close-ups, sometimes I like them arty and air-brushed. Sometimes it's a spread brown-eye kind of night, sometimes it's girl-on-girl time. Sometimes a steamy letter will do it, sometimes—not often, but sometimes—I like the idea of a chick with a horse.

Dialogue

Holden: [trading stories of growing up in New Jersey] Oh no, here's the big test. The Quick Stop Alyssa: My best friend fucked a dead guy in the bathroom Holden: You know that girl? Alyssa: I did, before she was committed.

Dialogue

Alyssa: Let me ask you something. Can men fuck each other? Banky: What, are you asking for my permission? Alyssa: In your estimation. Banky: Yeah, sure. Alyssa: So for you, to fuck means to penetrate. You're used to the more traditional definition. You, inside some girl you duped, jackhammering away, not noticing the bored look in her eyes. Banky: Hey, I always notice the bored look in their eyes!

Dialogue

Alyssa: Fuck you. Banky: Not even if you let me video tape it.

Dialogue

Alyssa: So, you've never been curious about men? Holden: Curious about men? Well, I always wondered why my father watched Hee Haw.

Dialogue

Banky: Alright, now see this? This is a four-way road, okay? And dead in the center is a crisp, new, $100 bill. Now, at the end of each of these streets are four people, okay? Are you following? Holden: Yeah. Banky: Good. Over here, we have a male-affectionate, easy to get along with, non-political agenda lesbian. Down here, we have a man-hating, angry as fuck, agenda of rage, bitter dyke. Over here, we got Santa Claus, and up here the Easter Bunny. Which one is going to get to the $100 bill first? Holden: What is this supposed to prove? Banky: No, I'm serious. This is a serious exercise. It's like an SAT question. Which one is going to get to the $100 bill first? The male-friendly lesbian, the man-hating dyke, Santa Claus, or the Easter bunny? Holden: The man-hating dyke. Banky: Good. Why? Holden: I don't know. Banky: [shouting] Because the other three are FIGMENTS of your FUCKING IMAGINATION!

Dialogue

Alyssa: Are you an authorized dealmaker in this establishment? Do you have the power to negotiate? Waitress: You wanna haggle over the price of your french dip?

Dialogue

Holden: What are you doing? Alyssa: Get back in the car and get out of here. Holden: What, are you going to hitch to New York? Alyssa: Yeah! Holden: Well, aren't you at least going to comment? Alyssa: Here's my comment: fuck you! Holden: Why? Alyssa: That was so unfair. You know how unfair that was! Holden: What, it's unfair that I'm in love with you? Alyssa: No, it's unfortunate that you're in love with me. It's unfair that you felt the fucking need to unburden your soul about it! Do you remember for one fucking second who I am?! Holden: So? I mean, you know, people change. Alyssa: Oh, it's that simple? You fall in love with me and want a romantic relationship, nothing changes for you! With the exception of feeling hunky-dory all the time, but what about me, Holden?! It's not that simple! I just can't get into a relationship with you without throwing my whole fucking world into upheaval! Holden: Alyssa, that's every relationship! There's always going to be a period of adjustment. Alys

Dialogue

Alyssa: You know, I didn't just heed what I was taught, men and women should be together, it's the natural way, that kind of thing. I'm not with you because of what family, society, life tried to instill in me from day one. The way the world is, how seldom it is that you meet that one person who just gets you - it's so rare. My parents didn't really have it. There were no examples set for me in the world of male-female relationships. And to cut oneself off from finding that person, to immediately halve your options by eliminating the possibility of finding that one person within your own gender, that just seemed stupid to me. So I didn't. But then you came along. You, the one least likely. I mean, you were a guy. Holden: Still am. Alyssa: And while I was falling for you I put a ceiling on that, because you were a guy. Until I remembered why I opened the door to women in the first place: to not limit the likelihood of finding that one person who'd complement me so completely. So here we

Dialogue

Jay: So why the long face, Horse? Banky on the rag? Holden: I'm just, ahh... just havin' a little girl trouble. Jay: Bitch pressin' charges? I get that a lot.

Dialogue

Silent Bob: [to Holden, who has just revealed his trouble with Alyssa] You're Chasing Amy. Holden: What? What did you say? Silent Bob: You're Chasing Amy. Jay: What do you look so shocked for, man, fat bastard does this all the time. He thinks just cause he doesn't say anything, it'll have some impact when he does open his fuckin' mouth... Silent Bob: [to Jay] Jesus Christ, why don't you shut up? You're always yap-yap-yappin' all the time, you're givin' me a fuckin' headache. [to Holden] I went through something like what you're talkin' 'bout, 'couple years ago, this chick named Amy. Jay: When? Silent Bob: [annoyed] A couple of years ago? Jay: What'd she live in Canada or something? Why don't I remember this? Silent Bob: Bitch, what you don't know about me I could just about squeeze in the Grand fucking Canyon. Did you know I always wanted to be a dancer in Vegas? [does a quick dance hands gesture] Bet you didn't even know that shit, did you? Jay: [bored] Just tell your fuckin' story s

Dialogue

Jay: What's that shit he's got us saying? Silent Bob: Oh, umm..."Snootchie Bootchies." Jay: Snootchie Bootchies. Who the fuck talks like that? That is fucking baby talk.

Dialogue

Alyssa: [about Holden's new comic, "Chasing Amy"] Looks like a very personal story. Holden: I finally had something personal to say.