Seinfeld, season 8

Jerry: It was unprecedented. I mean, it was the first truly mutual breakup in relationship history. No rejection, no guilt, no remorse. Elaine: You've never felt remorse. Jerry: I know. I feel bad about that.

Seinfeld (season 8), CC BY-SA 4.0

George: What were you saying to the Rosses over there anyway? Jerry: Oh man, I don't know. I told them her death takes place in the shadow of new life. She's not really dead if we find a way to remember her. George: What is that? Jerry: Star Trek 2. George: Wrath of Khan! Jerry: Yeah, Kramer and I saw it last night. Spock dies, they wrap it up in a towel and they shoot him out the bowels of the ship in that big sun glasses case. George: [somber] It was a hell of a thing when Spock died. Jerry: Yeah.

Seinfeld (season 8), CC BY-SA 4.0

Jerry: I can't believe I'm losing Pam! Newman: I know how you feel. For I, too, have a woman for whom I pine. Jerry: I thought we were talking about me. Newman: Right. Jerry: Anyway, I don't need your help. [turns to leave] Newman: Oh, don't you? Joke boy? You really think you can manipulate that beautiful young woman like the half-soused nightclub rabble that lap up your inane "observations"? Jerry: Alright, Newman. What do I have to do to get you to stop pulling the strings for Kramer? Newman: Well, there is a little something you can do for me... Jerry: C'mon, out with it. Newman: It's about...Elaine. Jerry: Elaine? What does she have to - [pause] Oh no... Newman: You dated her. Give me some inside information. Anything I can use!

Seinfeld (season 8), CC BY-SA 4.0

[to Jerry, talking about the Bizarro versions of Jerry, George and Kramer] Well, I can't spend the rest of my life coming into this stinking apartment every ten minutes to pore over the excruciating minutiae of every single daily event!

Seinfeld (season 8), CC BY-SA 4.0

Kramer: What did you want to see me about, Mr. Leland? Mr. Leland: Kramer, I've... been reviewing your work... Quite frankly, it stinks. Kramer: Well, I ah.. been havin' trouble at home and uh.. I mean, ah, you know, I'll work harder, nights, weekends, whatever it takes.. Mr. Leland: No, no, I don't think that's going to, do it, uh. These reports you handed in. It's almost as if you have no business training at all... I don't know what this is supposed to be! Kramer: Well, I'm uh, just--tryin' to get ahead. Mr. Leland: Well, I'm sorry, but there's just no way that we could keep you on. Kramer: I don't even really work here! Mr. Leland: That's what makes this so difficult.

Seinfeld (season 8), CC BY-SA 4.0

George: So, this, uh, Anna, calls me from out of the blue. Jerry: Really? I thought you were re-buffed. George: With extreme prejudice. Jerry: Maybe Elaine put in a good word for you. George: No, see, that’s just the thing- Anna told me that Elaine said I was one of the worst seeds she’d ever seen. Jerry: Interesting. She doesn’t care for you, then a stern warning, suddenly a phone call. Seems Elaine’s made you the “bad boy”. And Anna digs the bad boy. George: I‘m “the bad boy”. I’ve never been the bad boy. Jerry: You’ve been the bad employee, the bad son, the bad friend… George: Yeah. Yes. Yes… Jerry: The bad fiancé, the bad dinner guest, the bad credit risk… George: Ok, the point is made! Jerry: The bad date, the bad sport, the bad citizen… [George leaves some change on the table as he leaves] The bad tipper!

Seinfeld (season 8), CC BY-SA 4.0