The West Wing

Flight Attendant: Sir, I'm going to have to ask that you turn off your cellular phone. Toby: We're flying in a Lockheed Eagle Series L-1011. Came off the line ten months ago. Carries a Sim-5 transponder tracking system. And you're telling me I can still flummox this thing with something I bought at Radio Shack?

The West Wing, CC BY-SA 4.0

Leo: [on the phone with the New York Times] 17 across. Yes, 17 across is wrong... You're spelling his name wrong... What's my name? My name doesn't matter. I am just an ordinary citizen who relies on the Times crossword for stimulation. And I'm telling you that I met the man twice. And I recommended a pre-emptive Exocet missile strike against his air force, so I think I know how... C.J.: Leo. Leo: They hang up on me every time. C.J.: That's almost hard to believe.

The West Wing, CC BY-SA 4.0

Sam: Ms. O'Brien, I understand your feelings, but please believe me when I tell you that I'm a nice guy having a bad day. I just found out the Times is publishing a poll that says a considerable portion of Americans feel the White House has lost energy and focus. A perception that's not likely to be altered by the video footage of the President riding his bicycle into a tree. As we speak, the Coast Guard is fishing Cubans out of the Atlantic Ocean while the Governor of Florida wants to blockade the Port of Miami. A good friend of mine's about to get fired for going on television and making sense, and it turns out I accidentally slept with a prostitute last night. Now would you please, in the name of compassion, tell me which one of those kids is my boss's daughter? Mallory: That would be me. Sam: You. Mallory: Yes. Sam: Leo's daughter's fourth-grade class. Mallory: Yes. Sam: Well, this is bad on so many levels.

The West Wing, CC BY-SA 4.0

John Van Dyke: The First Commandment says "Honor thy father." Toby: No, it doesn't! Josh Lyman: Toby— Toby: It doesn't! [C.J. tries to stop him] No! If I'm gonna make you sit through this preposterous exercise, we're gonna get the names of the damn Commandments right! Mary Marsh: Okay, here we go. Toby: "Honor thy father" is the Third Commandment! Van Dyke: Then what's the First Commandment? Bartlet: "I am the Lord your God; thou shalt worship no other god before me." [enters the room, walking with a cane] Boy, those were the days, huh?

The West Wing, CC BY-SA 4.0

Van Dyke: If our children can buy pornography on any street corner for five dollars, isn't that too high a price to pay for free speech? Bartlet: No. Van Dyke: Really? Bartlet: On the other hand, I do think that five dollars is too high a price to pay for pornography. C.J.: Why don’t we all sit down? Bartlet: No. Let’s not, C.J. These people won’t be staying that long. May I have some coffee, Mr. Lewis? Al, how many times have I asked you to denounce the practices of a fringe group that calls itself The Lambs of God? Caldwell: Sir, it’s not up to me to— Bartlet: Crap. It is up to you, Al. You know, my wife, Abbey, she never wants me to do anything while I’m upset. [a staffer hands him coffee] Thank you, Mr. Lewis. Twenty-eight years ago, I come home from a very bad day at the State House. I tell Abbey I’m going out for a drive. I get in the station wagon and put it in reverse and pull out of the garage full speed. [Leo and Sam appear in the doorway and quietly enter into the room.] Exc

The West Wing, CC BY-SA 4.0

Lloyd Russell: [referring to his Presidential run, speaking to Mandy, who just drove her car onto a curb] It wasn't going to happen. Mandy: You know what the worst part about this is? Lloyd Russell: Well, I think you dinged up your suspension pretty good. Mandy: No, Lloyd, it's the party they're having, right now, in the West Wing, at my expense. Lloyd Russell: They're not having a party in the West Wing. Mandy: I worked with these people for two and a half years. They like to win and they like to gloat. Lloyd Russell: I'm sure you're wrong. Mandy: I'm sure I'm not. Lloyd Russell: There are very serious people working at the White House. A blow was struck for party unity today, there's no cause to gloat. Josh: Victory is mine, victory is mine. Great day in the morning, people, victory is mine. Donna: Morning Josh. Josh: I drink from the keg of glory, Donna. Bring me the finest muffins and bagels in all the land. [pumps his fists] Donna: It's going to be an unbearable day.

The West Wing, CC BY-SA 4.0